Why Does the Internet Think Victoria Beckham's Birthday Cake Is So Terribly Tragic?

OK, so it's pretty safe to assume that Victoria Beckham isn't the type of gal to throw down a bucket of chicken wings or gobble up a Cinnabon. The Internet knows this. And yet, pop-culture followers couldn't help but sink into a mild depression when the former Spice Girl posted a short clip of her birthday confection on Instagram. The cake, you see, was missing... cake. 

Instead of a frosted marvel along the lines of one Kris Jenner would order from Hansen's (yum), Beckham sliced into a legit chunk of watermelon. The fruit was dolled up for the occasion, with pretty berries standing in for sugary flowers or other bakery-made flourishes. And, it was served with love: As she cut the cake, Beckham was serenaded with a sweet rendition of the birthday song. Take a listen:  

So, one could argue that with the candle, the cards, and the song, the setting was almost festive? Sadly, Beckham's followers had other thoughts. Cue the barrage of pitying comments: 

In Beckham's defense, though, she happens to like ringing in a new year with a pile of fresh fruit. In fact, back in 2012 she pulled the same move with this celebratory lunch: 

Let's not forget that even Tamra Judge, Vicki Gunvalson's partner in "whooping it up," had a cake inspired by (shudder) something healthy on her birthday. Remember this? 

Apparently, great birthday girls think alike.