You don't need to be a millionaire to get relationship advice from Patti Stanger! Post your questions below and be sure to check back next week for a response from Patti!
In Love with a Broken Man
Is there a way to make things work with a man who has an insecure ego? Broke up with a man who said I made him feel "inadequate all the time". I make more money than him and footed the bill a lot during our 2 year relationship (he didn't ask for it, I just did it). He's 13 years older than me with 2 adult kids in college from his first marriage (he's been divorced nearly 20 years). I've never been married and have no kids, therefore I didn't have the same obligations or responsibilities and was able to spend my money any way I wanted. We live in two different states, so we were doing the long-distance thing... I still love him very much. I work in the domestic violence field and I can honestly say that I have truly found one of the "good ones", but he just happens to be insecure because of his financial "situation"...Does love really conquer all?
In my book, Become Your Own Matchmaker, I always feel it’s important to let the man lead even if he makes less money than the woman. If you continue to foot the bill you end up emasculating him, which will eventually cut your sex appeal. It doesn’t matter if a man takes you for pizza coffee or a beer. Once he puts his hand in his pocket to pay for you, that shows interest. Here’s a tip I use with my boyfriend, I am the one who makes more money than he does, however I let him make all the plans and pay for all the dates – I buy the groceries and every four times he takes me out I take him to brunch, lunch or drinks which is a lesser value than what he paid to take me out. The four to one rule is a standard of living that everyone, be it rich or poor, should live by. The reason is - when a man leads with his money (even if doesn’t have much) he is showing providership towards the female – which allows the female to relax and be sexually potent.
Hi Patti,
I'm know I'm just one more person telling you this, but you are great at what you do and I really enjoy your show! The personality def ads a lot! Anyway, I hope you are still giving advice out to us little people. My husband and I are finally starting counseling tomorrow, but I was curious to hear what you would have to say about our situation. I met my husband (Sergio) in June of 2009. I had a job as an administrative assistant for a VP and my husband was in sales at 24 Hour Fitness. We had a blast going out to the movies, eating,dancing, and random fun stuff for the first few months. We planned a couple trips to Vegas and Mammoth to take in Nov. and Dec. of that year as well, that we agreed to split in cost. I had always been aggressive in my past relationships always paying for most stuff, but then I realized I wasn't okay with that anymore and this time I wanted someone to more aggressive with me and pay for me too at least half the time. Well, in the first month Sergio definitely made an effort to pay for things, but then it started to become more 50/50. Then I started getting the impression he didn't make much money in sales, so I started paying for more. It also seemed like things we did were more my idea so, I felt I should pay. Then Sergio told me he didn't make a whole lot and couldn't keep spending as much money. He also couldn't pay for the trips we planned. I blew it off like no big deal, I could take care of paying for more and the trips too. However, I think a little resentment started to build. Sergio had also told my family and I that he had graduated with a B.A. in Business and when we discussed him getting a better job he would say it was hard finding anything. I would spend time helping him with his resume and find jobs for him to apply to. Turns out he never applied because he never finished his degree. He also told me in January of 2010 that he had about 15,000 in bad debt (collections) which I found out a year later was 25,000 in bad debt. He told me it's because he formerly worked for his dad who had screwed him with company bills, but as time went on I realized Sergio hadn't made the best decisions with his credit and spending which had been a big part of the reason he ended up with the bad debt (which he still has yet to admit). I guess with this constant lying I just built up a crap load of resentment. To top it off, when I first met Sergio he was trying to get into the Coast Guard. It turned out his bad debt wouldn't get him into the military. In fact that prevented him from doing a lot. I had fallen in love with Sergio after founding out all these lies and I had so much resentment towards him. However, I must take responsibility for staying in the relationship, because I made the choice to do so, but I felt so deceived. I was angry because now I didn't have the man I thought he was, but another guy I was going to have to pay for. As time went on, I operated under anger and he operated under guilt. Those issues never got resolved properly. I feel like I took my husbands balls, but he also served them to me on a platter, although it's not what either of us wanted. My husband got a better job through a friend he met at the gym so we decided to get our own place. I was still making more and was paying for more too. I guess I felt like I was taking care of him? He wasn't the man I had met, that I thought I had met... I felt like I gave up a lot of the great things I could do for myself as a single woman. Not to mention I had paid off a few of my bills and had been in the process of paying off more until I took on Sergio. I was always thinking of ways he could make more money, so we could be better off. The thing I realized is that I was doing that for him, he wasn't trying to think what he could do to better himself. I actually ended up putting his debt onto my credit so he could get into the Coast Guard. It worked and he got in. However, I just feel like I'm still angry, but now my husband is angry too and has recently attempted to get his balls back. We love each other and have a baby now so we def want to work things out, but there's a lot of anger. My biggest issues I believe are my biggest faults. I feel like my husband is lazy. He doesn't place importance on the right things. One thing I know about my husband is that when he's motivated about something he makes sure he gets it done (like his workouts), but as far as a career, or doing anything important I ask of him (like scheduling an appt. for counseling to better our relationship)- he's lazy, but what should I expect when I'm the one that took on his responsibility and figured out how to get him the career, he didn't put the work into it (at least not without my pushing)... I feel pretty stupid complaining about a situation I put myself in, but I do love my husband. I just wish he would make more of an effort to better our relationship like I feel I did and do. He's 24 years old and I'm 27, so I know we both could use relationship training. Your advice Patti is very much wanted. Thank you!
Hi Patti,
I am a 22 year old girl and have never dated anyone. I am really shy person and find it very difficult to let guys anywhere near me but I am getting to a point where i am feeling that I need to get out of this funk at change things. What can i do to start putting myself out there and start dating
Thanks
Patti,
My son is 29 and has not had any success in relationships. He asks my advice, but I don't know what to tell him. He is handsome, but has no game when it comes to women. He has never been a player. He is honest and does not want to play games. He is very respectful of women and may be trying to hard too be nice and impress them. He is highly intelligent, but slightly OCD and GAD. Girls like him, but after the first date they just want to be friends. He doesn't know what he is doing wrong. Can a guy be too nice? Are women more attracted to jerks? What can I tell him?
Hi Patti,
Love your show ! I'm 26 yrs old getting my nursing degree. I had being dating this guy who's 49 yrs old. From the beginning he said he does'nt want kids because he already had 3 with his ex wife. My problem is that we had being going out for almost 2 years and he has'nt proposed to me the times he has said something there's no ring. I feel I'm attracted to older man because I feel I'm much mature for my age. Should I leave this guy for good or what should I do ? I want someone who wants everything with me. Please help
Hi Patti I'm 22 years old graduating college this year with a bachelors in fashion design and marketing I have been with my boyfriend for almost three years he is 26 turning 27 this year with already his business we both have spoke about marriage and I have been bothering him for a promise ring and I have been waiting everytime I spoke to him about it he says its coming I been feeling like I'm not sure what I feel anymore is that normal I am a bit negative because I'm kind of obsessed with getting married young what do you think I should do even though I feel as if I don't feel the same with him I don't want to see him with anyone and I cannot see myslef with anyone else
thank you patti
I wanted to thank you for this great learn!! I positively enjoying each little bit of it I've you bookmarked to check out new stuff you post
it was very interesting to read. I want to quote your post in my blog. It can? And you et an account on Twitter?
Patti,
I'm a 28 yr old man who's lost when it comes to finding love. I know what I want out of life and know where I'm going, except with love. I dated a girl for 6yrs had a child with her and it was on/off pretty much the whole time. We were going to get married but she ended up leaving 3weeks before the wedding. After 3yrs of being single I told myself I'd never let that happen to me again. Then I found a beautiful girl, we hit it off, things were going well, so I thought, until I found her cheating. Maybe its just me, but I'm seeing a pattern here. Usually my relationships start out well, the women are crazy about me and act like they want to spend the rest of their lives with me. It lasts a while, but sure enough, in the end, she's the one who leaves. Weather its for another guy or she's just plain "sick of me." What can I do? I have a problem with falling for girls too fast, I think, and sometimes let them walk all over me, but I can't help it. I love women and everything about them, I tend to see the good in every one of them, even if they're not so good. Guess I'm just too nice, so to speak. Is there anything you can tell me that will make the next one work out, or at least prevent them from leaving me? Let me know, looking forward to hearing from you.
A devoted fan,
Dan
Dear Patti :
My name is denise and i have a question about finding that perfect man for me i'm a very complicated case but you always say there is someone out there for every one ! My situation is a little complicated cause of my health situation (don't want to go in to it on here) If we were talking in private i would prefer that , anyways my question is what chance does someone like me a good person who just wants to find my love of my life but i am 41 and feel my health is stopping me from my ultimate goal finding love and marriage for my life's dream how will i find a man or is there even one out there for me with my health the way it is your supposed to be the best and the best is what i needed !!!
Sincerely
Denise Wilson
Question, I have two daughters who love easily but gets hurt every time. They are mid-twenties, smart, funny and beautiful. I can't give them any good advice because I have never been married myself or have had that constant love. The both plan on moving to different states for a better life, maybe better for love. What can be said to help them.
Hi patti, I love ur show u always keep it real, I have a question for u I have been friends with one guy for the last 4 years and he does not want to be in a relationship with me he said he would change his mind so I tried to wait till he got hiself together but he is still not ready so I asked for my key back am I wrong he has already made it clear that he dont want me I just want someone who is going to be around cause he is no.
Patti! You are the best in your business so I know I can ask only you this question and you will tell me straight up how I should address it. I have had passion for love for as long as I can remember and have wanted to get married. Well im 27 now and NOT married or have even been engaged. I have had 2, 4yr relationships and 3, 1 yr ones. Right now I am financially stuck because of living situation with a guy I definetly do not want to marry and my heart longs to date other guys. I have an obsession with finding the love of my life! My current bf knows im not happy and that im not in love with him definetly because of his own doing. What options do i have?
Patti, Hi I think you are awesome. I am miserable I am on my 3rd marriage and once again I am depressed. I can't seem to find a man who can take care of me or who likes to go out. My husband now of 9 yrs we never go out first off we can not afford it all we do is pay bills. I have no clothes I have to shop at Goodwill every 6 months, I can't buy anything... We face eviction every month we can just never get ahead. My family is there for me but I am 54 and I don't want to go to my family. My birthday I did not get a card from my husband, nothing hurts. I just want to start over completely, I do feel I deserve to be happy and not have to struggle the rest of my life. I am just not a happy person anymore. Please help me if you can I want to smile again and be happy. The only thing I live for is my kids Adam 26 and Allison 18. Sad!!
Hi Patti,
I am a fan of your show and love your relationship advice. Right now I am in need of some enlightenment. Can you please help?
I'm 29 years old and I've been dating this guy for 7 months. In these past 7 months I can remember him being aggressive and disrespectful 4 times towards me in public, 3 times behind closed doors and he's shown his insecurities many times. I suggested he seek professional help for his agressiveness and learn how to manage his anger. He claims to be deeply in love with me and willing to do anything to make it work and has sought professional help. Though I continue to remind him the session with a therapist will only work if he realizes he's doing this for his own good and not for me. And he claims he is going to the session for himself, but I have seen signs that he is doing it more for me than for himself. I have expressed to him that I do love him but ever since he has acted out I have been a bit turned off because this characteristic does not compliment me at all. And I find it hard to believe that someone can be so profoundly in love with a person in such a short period of time. I do have to say we are on the same page as far as values and principles are concerned. However, I do not like arguing and am mortified by arguing in public. Experienced folks like my parents have advised that this will not work and it will only get worse. Do you think people change?
hi ive been in a relationship for almost 2 years now ..... but my partner hates kissing or to show any affection towards me unless i force it .... is it possible he just doesn't like it or do u think theres more to it
please write back with your opinion
Patti,
I hear the Manzo boys might be on your show . . . Albie and I are soul mates . . . can you interview me for your club?
Hey Patty
I absolutely love your show My question is I'm 20 years old and never really had a relationship either the guy finds me to hard to get sex from or to easy (even though im a virgin still)
I am abit on the heavy side and doing my best to get into shape I took the quiz about are you a good dater or not and it says I am an amazing one when ever I go on a date i avoid all the topics you talk about though i will admit my last date the guy wouldn't stop talking about sex which drove me nuts but i just payed it fine and tried to blow it off but i was wondering if you could give me some pointers like im so confused on what im doing wrong cause every time i go on a date i always wind up in the friend zone
Hi Patti,
I just finished watching the episode with Omar.....
I simply had to write you.
From the very start he came across as so genuinely different from all of the other men you have had on your show. His reasoning behind wanting to take a girl on a junk hauling date stuck me as refreshing... it seemed to me that he was looking for someone that had the character to stay with him through tough times should they happen. In a sea of L.A. beauties he was looking for a girl with the strength of character to get down and get a little dirty if need be :)
It was really, REALLY refreshing to hear a man talk about looking for the kind of fundamentals that I feel help build a super solid relationship. He has the world but he was looking for someone that could handle life, through the good and the bad...I can really appreciate that....
I don't know why I am writing you, I actually have doubts that you will even get to my note, I am sure you get 1000s. He just seems like a really sweet, hard working, down to earth guy and I hope he finds what he is looking for...
Thanks
Jennifer
HI there patti my name is Tamara i love you're show and its really heard for me to find love, I was hoping that you could get me on the show and get me to meet a nice man. I'm not a millionaire and i could care less about the money. My family has money and i'm not the on to ask for much. My family is a big part of my life. I'm looking for someone that can take care of me and that i can take care of them. I need someone that is a family man. If you can help me out that would be great
Patti....
Here's the deal...I have a fantastic man who is my BFF, he does every possible thing right and here I am feeling like a total jerk because I have no chemistry with this person I want to love more than anything.
WTF??
Everything I wanted in a partner but the chemistry isn’t there????
Am I a doosh for wanting more?
I feel stuck!
PLEASE HELP!!
Patti,
What do you suggest for gay men?!?
High style and class is my game! I have very high standards and qualifications for the men I date but I'm not sure how or where to go to find a guy that can support me and the life style I want. At the same time I'm a very non-materialistic person. Items do not define me or my personality.
I'm currently an Intern Architect in Texas. I love to travel and am very close to my family and friends. How do I find a millionaire guy that is honest, genuine and down-to-earth???
I really don't even know where to look.
Thanks!
Patti you are so great at what you do. i have a question though.,., i am 22 and have been with my BOYFRIEND for over 9 years and we are expecting our first in about 3 weeks (June 17 2010) we dont like together and were not going to until HE thinks its right.,., and i can understand cuz we are not that finacially stable.,., and i know you say stability is key.,., but and way what do you like about this.,., he gave me a ring about 3 years ago and back then he told me it was an engagment ring and now that its been so long it kinda just turned into a promise ring.,. he says hes not going anywhere and he loves me and im the one but then why hasn he asked my parents and turned that ring back into an engagment ring.,., what should i do???? HELP PATTI!!
Hi Patti!!! I am the perfect girl for your million Trevor Shively! Pleas help me get a date with him! I live in Ohio and think I'm exactly what hes looking for! I have an 11 year career history as an insurance underwriter. I just like Trevor am a devoted christian. I attend mass every sunday and also serv mass as a eurchuristic minister. I'm 33 and very funny, beautiful blonde, sexy, and super giving and generous. I have high energy and just love life, family & friends. I also work as a USO Representative working with our soldiers and their families. I also work as a Special Olympics volunteer in my free time. I also like Trevor come from a very blue collar family. My father owns his own concrete company so I have grown up driving trucks and bobcats and backhoes. I'll tell you lots more about me and send you pics of myself when you contact me back!! Can't wait to hear back from you! Thank you & GOD Bless! Congrats on your engagement also!
I would like to know how to qulifcations to be on your show?
Thanks,
rayne Marie
Dear Patti,I can't seem to get a guy. I have maybe 3 guy friends. Two of them are 15,and the other is 21.The 21 year old just had a break up and I haven't gone out with anyone since last august.I turn 20 in October and am heading into my 3rd snr year of high school. I would love to come on the show but can't afford a ticket,any ideas?
Hi Patti! I love your show, the way you talk to people and handle the situations. Straight to the point! I have watched one of your show about the when both of the Millionaires ended up with a date. If I am not mistaken the Lady's name was Heidi? and the guy is from Canada. They look good together. I just want to know what happened to them after that date? I really look so good together and you did a very good job there! Keep it up and more power.
hi patty!
i was bored today coz i got nothing to do. so i looked up at etc. and after the america's top model show was the millionaire's matchmaker show.
it was my first time to see this show, and the episode is season 2 [bill and heidi]... and the only thing i can tell you is I FELL INLOVE with the show!!!! and wished i can find my man too :) though im not a millionaire. . hehehe =) my nephew was so persistent that he had to see his kiddie shows but i wouldn't let him coz i need to finish the show of bill and heidi that made me feel in love.
heidi is a great woman! she's TOTALLY gorgeous and sexy for a 41 year old with a daughter.i like her! and bill.. ure true! he should get the thinking of having-young-girls-are-better-than-older-ones. he is cute, but i'm kinda don't like this attitude towards the age :) i'm still crossing my fingers that i hope they will end up together. cooooozzz they made me fell inlove today :( =)
i dunno what time does the show aired here in philippines. [im particularly at northern samar.. eastern part of philippines (kinda remote huh?)] but im definitely gonna find out. coz i wanna know what will happen to the others to be matched :)
THANK YOU FOR HAVING THIS SHOW!!!!
A GOOD SHOW!!!
hi im 18 and has recently gone through an engagement ending when i caught him "snoodling" what should i do 2 make sure that this wont happen again
Patti, I watch your show all of the time and am addicted to it!! You are great!! There is a man that was on your show that I would love to meet. The "lady" that you set him up with ran back into the hotel after meeting him. How may I get a date with him?
Hello,
I have been married for ten years, after my husband went to afganistan he came back a very different person. He says he wants to work on his issues but never seems to actually do anything about it. I have tried to help by finding counselors and stuff, but he doesn't want to go and i don't want to be to pushy. I miss the man I married and don't want to give up on him but I know I can't force him to seek help. Part of me says move on and part of me wants the man I married back, how do I know when it is time to let go.
Patti,
I am a 24 almost 25 year old woman. I have recently started dating a 33 year old man. We have an intense connection mentally. He is everything that I've ever wanted, really. He is divorced with 2 kids. But that does not bother me at all. I know that things don't always work out the way you think they might or plan. I am a Cancer and he's a Scorpio. Is it possible that even with the age difference this could really work?
Hi Patti,
Enjoy the show and my question may be off topic but I didn't see a general question area....
I thought I heard that you suffer from cluster headaches
on the live reunion show. I am a fellow sufferer and would appreciate any further info on your prevention of cycles,etc. It is such an unknown issue that many doctors don't even know what it is and how painful it can be. While I don't expect you to be a public spokeperson, perhaps one day in the right forum you could explain it to somebody on a talkshow. Research is little because only one tenth of one percent of the public get clusters. I can't think of any other celebrity who has come forward to disclose this.
hi patti, huge fan of your show . I'm kind of in a relationship with this guy named daniel we are now on a friends kind of level i met him a couple of times and it seems when i tell him something he only says yeah and i don't think that he is interested in me and i don't know if he is seeing other girl im not sure and i don't trust him he wants to go on a date with me again what should i do?
Patti, I am a 41 year woman, with no children, in good shape, said to be attractive and fun loving. I can not find a man!! All the single guys I know do not want committments, and it seems the only one who approach me are married. Is there something wrong with me? I'm giving off some vibration which constantly yields me unavailable men?
Patti - Love all the good information on your show.....I've been single all my 56 years.....and I feel I could use a session with Dr. Nickki from your show.....could you give me her first and last name or even her phone number? Thank you so much for your help!!!!
Still single..................Patty
Hi Patti!
I'm glad you have expanded to cover gay men, but I'm so distraught that Smike and Doug were both such narcissists. I'm sure you know as well as anyone that this is a stereotype, and though watching them is as compelling as a train wreck, I'd love to see a millionaire who is worthy of the wonderful David. I felt so terrible for him on his date with Doug, and I all I could think was, "I wish I were a millionaire so Pattie would fix me up with him!"
I'm a global traveler, ocean sailor, and a renaissance man who lives in San Francisco (Berkeley, actually, but my view is of the SF Bay and Cityscape). I'd love to meet a millionaire who enjoys behaving like a respectable human.
Keep up the good work, and check me out on Facebook if you need any more advice! HAHA!
Kind Regards,
Patrik Hendrickson
Hi Patti,
I have no problem meeting men. I actually dated some great ones.
Good looking, educated, funny... the whole package.
The only problem is they all tell me the same thing. That I am not girlfriend material. Sometimes I find this out within couple of months or a year.
I don't know what I am doing wrong. I don't jump into sex right away or put pressure on men. All the things that selfhelp books say do or not to do.
I am stumped. I watch your show and I try to learn as much as I can.
Am I just hopeless?
Hi Patti! I am definitely a fan of your style and finesse...and GREAT HONESTY!!! My friends keep saying that I would be a great candidate for one of the millionaires. How do I submit my profile?
Hi Patti
Love your show. Just curious.....do you do anything with men and women who are over 55 or 60..I know most men want the younger women but what happens to us women who are over 55 or 60...I am on the East Coast and need some advice. If you want please email. Thanks for listening. And congratulations on your upcoming nuptials. Look forward to the rest of your shows. Your team look like they really love what they do and that is so important.
how can i get my freind on the show to find him a great woman?
Patti,
I am 38 and have been looking for someone to share my life with. I am a full figured girl and a very shy person when it comes to meeting people. I've never really been out on a date or had a real boyfriend. I had a brief relationship with a guy in school, and I later figured out he was only out for the one thing he got. Please help!
P.S. Love the show!!
Thank you,
Penny
I fell in love with my best guy friend and I don't think he feels the same way. What do I do?
Patti,
Help! I have a very cute 20 year old daughter. She is really a very sweet and smart young woman. She is a junior and studying biology. She wants to be a physician assistant. But she has had one date since she was 16. HELP! I don't know what to do. She needs your help.
Kathy in Massachusetts
Patti- Do the women that are chosen for your get togethers get to choose what kind of man they are
looking for before being chosen to meet your Millionaires?
Or do you say this man is rich......come, come!
I am a guy who like long term relationships. I have been with this guy for about 10 months now, and I am feeling like we aren't getting along as we used to. I feel like our relationship is dwindling, but when we have sex its AMAZING! Should i just stay because I am a long term person?
Hi Patti,
I am a 49 year old woman that can never seem to meet any decent men. I have been divorced for 20 years. My ex-husband was an alcoholic and mentally abusive so when my beautiful daughter was born I decided it was time to get out. I may have lived in that mess but I refuse to have my daughter grow up thinking all men where bad. I have only dated a few times over the years simply because my main concern was raising my daughter. I just never believed in men sleeping over or a different man around the house every other week while she was young.
Now she is a junior in college and I feel it is time for me to meet someone. I have worked hard to support us for all these years and now she agrees it's my time!
People tell me I do not look my age and I am 5ft 4in and 118 lbs so I guess I am about average.
Patti can you help me with any advise or is it to late for me?
My best friend Peter and I have been friends forever! And he has told me his feelings for me, and I too like him! But i just don't know if that will jerperdize our relationship? What if something goes wrong?! Will we ever be friends agian if we go out?
Hello,my name is Bri and my question is how hard would it be for a little plain ole country girl to be on your show?Im from GA and im looking for Mr.Right.I have watch your show plenty of time and I just wanted to know what would it take to be apart...Im a student struggling in school and I just want to know how it feels to have the finer things in life.Icome from a broken home, my mother is a single parent.Its very hard out here....So if you could please help me Patti.....
-THANKS, Bri
Patti,
Love the show and books. Just want to know why you dislike redheads so much?
Thanks in advance.
Patti,
I've been watching you grow since you first started off. As a Marina del Rey, LA native, I appreciate and enjoy how direct and real you are. So tired of these wimpy people trying to be PC all the time. Yuck! Too bad I'm now 48 and can't apply for your services. You are pricelessly good at what you do, and I love it that you just have to teach lessons! I'm the same way with my job. It's different but it works like magic. So, keep kickin' butt...the entertainment is satisfying! I love it when you give the egotistical men a run for their money, and the look on your face when you make a great match too! I have learned a few things about dating and putting my foot down, just watching you! You are my soul sistah! lol
Kalina Noelle
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