Ask Patti

Patti dispels myths about finding a Prince Charming.

on Apr 17, 2009

I am a 21 year old college student and am in a committed, monogamous relationship with my 28 year old boyfriend of 2 1/2 years. While I recognize I still have a lot of learning and growth to do, do you think that someone cannot experience true love at my age? Is it somehow wrong or naive of me to be excited about working towards this common goal? What "stage of life" (rather than specific age) do you think is best to enter into marriage?

Cat, you’re in a catch-22. On the one hand, you’re young and haven’t experienced life – you may be smart, but you have no wisdom. On the other hand, your heart is telling you you’re in love and that this is the ONE. The question you have to ask yourself is, “What’s more important to me… finishing the stage of life that is freedom, or taking the next step.” That’s a question you have to ask yourself seriously. The one thing you don’t want to do is take the wrong step.


Hi Patti!
I've just started watching your show, and now I'm addicted! I'm 21, and I've dated 6 gay men before, one being my ex-fiancé of two years. I'm usually the first person (even before their parents or friends) they "come out" to because they say I'm so accepting of people. I like a sensitive, well-kept man with my same interests (stereotypical of gay men). How can you tell if a guy is gay, or just metro? Why do gay men date women (if they say they knew all along?!) And WHY do they come out to ME? Thanks!

Dawn, STOP IT. There are PLENTY of well-kept men out in the world that aren’t gay. What, are you picking them up at gay bars? You know what you’re doing, and why you’re doing it. This sounds more like a person that is purposely sabotaging their own love life because they’re afraid to be in serious relationship more than anything else.