Hi Patti! My boyfriend and I LOVE your show! He thinks your great...which makes me know he's great too! We are both 25 and have been together for 10 months, I quit my job and moved to his state and in with him after 6 months (I know, against what you preach). I've left all my family and friends, only because I genuinely feel like he is the one. I'm frustrated he hasn't proposed yet, I feel like I gave up a lot for us to be together and he hasn't really sacrificed anything. It's gotten to the point where any mention of the "M" word gets us in an argument, it's the only thing we do argue about. Advice? PLEASE! Thank you so much!

Patti:

Me and my fiance got engage after 7 months of dating and going on our 9 months now and we're planning to get marry but I am worry that I will not be able to support him because I am jobless now and he is a military officer. He is worry as well that I may not be able to find a job and help him although he still want to go through this marriage with me. We are in our mid 20s already and we really want to be together. What must we do to have confidence in ourself and believe that this marriage will work out?

patti you are awsome i love that your striaght forward!

Hi Patti,
Im 23 years old and my boyfriend, 24, and I have been dating for 7 months. We both have stable jobs (Im a nurse and he works for the government). He is the love of my life and I know he is the one. He keeps asking me to move in but I refuse to do so until Im engaged. We talk about marriage all the time but he doesn't propose. He says he is waiting till he can save enough money to give me the ring I deserve. Is there anything I can do to get him to propose quicker?

Hi my name is Savanna. I've been with my boyfriend for about 6 years plus. We live together in a house he bought with two of his highschool buddies. We are very much in love. I'm just wondering if I should wait for him to propose? We do talk about it but he is very practical and wants to be in a more stable state. He wants us to have our own place with no roomates. It sucks being a couple living with two other bachelors. We get along most of the time. He and I are very opposite though. He is very critical and I'm definatley not. I'm a libra and he's a virgo. I do love him very much. He is my first love. Met him in highschool and been together ever since. I'm 23 and he's 25. What do you think I should do? Wait it out? or leave?

hi Patti, my boyfriend and i gave been together for almost a year, we are engaged, but he really never asked me we just desided one day that we are getting married, But i want him to aske me to marry him, and i don't have a ring yet, i love him to death but i want him to ask me and give mea ring... how do i get him to do that... thanks
love u
Lukas

Hi! Ms. Patti Stanger, Love your work baby girl. I admire your work so much. I love the show The Millionaire Matchmaker. I've somehow became addicted to it since two weeks ago. I like the way you tell the truth like you see it. One day I hope yiou could pair me up with a millinaire matchmaker. I like how you and your staff cordinate with one another. That's good teamwork in high standard's and for high expectations in the business. My dreams are soon to be high like you guy's, As; for my dream - Actress/Producer/Professor. I'll do gerat I just have to hold onto God's unchanging hand and step out on faith. Thanks for listening.

sincerly, Kennetta Thompson

Hello Patti,
I'm 27yrs old and my girlfriend is 22yrs old and we live together. We have been dating for almost 5yrs now. I have been engaged twice, but never got married due to them cheating on me. My girl and I have talked about marriage and the future earlier in the relationship, but now she is bringing it back up. We both work but live paycheck to paycheck. She works PT and goes to school PT and I work FT and just graduated and trying to get my career going for us. I explained early in the relationship, that I prefer at least one of us have a good paying job before getting married. She agreed at the time but when we watched your reunion show, you made a comment about if they haven't proposed within a time frame then move on. Now she is getting upset because she thinks that I don't love her, and wont get engaged to her. I do love her and would love to get engaged, but I can't afford a ring or anything else, due to my job and bills. I don't know what to do. I try and talk to her, but it goes nowhere. Any advice you could give me, I would greatly appreciate it. I also want to say that I love the show and can't wait for MM4.

I love your show! When you start having plus size girls id love to go to your mixers!

Hi Patti,
Love your advice and love your comments. You really are just spot-on when you speak and I do think you try to points things out demurely (is that a word?). Anyway, I know this blog is about when to get into marriage, but I have a question about when you think it might be best to get out of marriage. I have been married since 2006, so four years into the marriage and I feel that we should be at the point where we should be at the beginning stages of settling down and we're not. Everything is an argument and I think we both get on each others nerves. For example, he has a problem with my dog because he apparently wants through the door of our apartment after a long day a work and screams and yells because the place smells like "dog". Which, I'm sure it does but I don't think it warrants a screaming match everyday, even when I don't smell anything. I work too and god-forbid the chores aren't done when he would like them to be because that falls on me. Occasionally he does do the dishes or the laundry, but never the ironing, the cleaning, taking out the garbage, or walking the dog. Maybe I'm a bit lazy too, but we both work full-time. I don't feel that because I am the woman the house is my responsibility, seeing as how I pay exactly half of the bills. Sometimes I think it's financial worries because we're not millionaires, but we're doing fine. I'm sure millionaires have other financial worries that we don't. We can afford that nice bottle of wine every once and awhile, but it usually ends up that one of us drinks the bottle by themselves. (We're not alcoholics, I'm just trying to be figurative.) Anyway, to be perfectly honest, I want out at this point in my life. I've been on strike for 5 days (not going to work, staying at home and watching TV all day and not doing any chores) and I really don't think anything has changed. He has had dinner by himself but eats in front of me and I hog the TV in retaliation. For 5 days. And nothing has changed. Am I being childish? Are we over? I really don't feel that he is willing or wants to change his behavior, because it is his behavior that disgusts me. Quite frankly, I don't feel like changing my behavior unless he is going to change his.

This is the first season that I've watched your show & I'm hooked. My question is, I'm 35 & have been dating my boyfriend for 9 mths now & when I bring up marriage, he doesn't say much. He often says that I'm the one & he wants only me forever. It makes me feel good when he does say it but frustrates me when we can't discuss it seriously. Am I rushing talking about marriage to him? I'm not saying marry me tomorrow, I just want to get a feeling of when he'll be ready or if I'm just wasting my time. Thanks for any advice.

Hi Patti,
So I really like your show, and have used some of your tips when I first started dating my boyfriend. They worked great! Well I have just started reading some of the blogs on this site and I noticed that you have told some people that they should expect a ring after a year of dating. My question is why does it have to be after a year? Is it bad if the couple waits a few years more before getting engaged?
Thanks,
Maya

Hey how is your relationship with your mom ever since you got engaged? My mom and I are not super close but things are getting worse between us. How do I try to mend things before they get way out of hand. They do like him, but the things I say I want she doesn't agree with, and since they are paying for it I feel obligated to try and go with what she wants.

Patti,
First, I love your show~ Mostly YOU! I am 41 and FINALLY HAPPILY MARRIED to my soul mate!(3rd time was a charm). Most of my life I was a people-pleaser and a CARPET for others to walk all over. I went through a MAJOR transformation about 5 years ago...still learning today! I wanted to tell you how much I admire your strength and telling it like it is attitude! I learn from you every episode! YOU GO GIRL...WOMAN!!!! Keep up the great work!

Patty, what does it takes to join the club?

Patti,

I love your show! I have been with my boyfriend for 5 years and we are both on our tweentys and just starting our lifes. However, when i graduate I will have to leave this country. I am mad in love with him but I don't believe in long distance relationship and he doesn't seem to make up his mind about getting married. I have a couple of different paths i can chosse from but i need to know what is his deal. Should I wait a maybe loose a good carrier oportunity? Or should I set a time limit and if he doesnt propose leave him? What should I do?

Hey Patti,

I am in a 1 yr relationship and before we hit this year i cheated on my partner a couple of times. My thing is why does he forgive me and still loves me after i hurt him so much?

My second question is; Well recently i found out im prego and i feel this is not the right time to bring a child when we are having trust issues. Do you think i am right for my decision?

Hi patti!
Love your show btw! I watch it all the time, reruns and all. I have a question. I have been w/ my boyfriend for over 3 yrs. Everything has been fine but i'm afraid he tends to want to go out with those friends that are bad influences on him once in a while. how do i deal w/this?
Thanks!

DAVID SHOULD HAVE HAD THE STEAK!!

Hi Patti!

I have been dating my high school sweetheart for over 10 years. He proposed about a year ago, but nothing is happening. He is trying to get a good job, house and cha ching before we get married, but I can't wait another 10 years. I have said the we could both pull our own weigh to make it work, but he doesn't want that. What do I do?

Love the show. You do match making in Cali but do you match people in other states? like maybe louisiana? do we even have single millionaires here?

self-answered/in need of reassurance:

Patti:

I have been w/my Boyfriend for almost 2 years and we were friends for (2) years before that. i am completely in love with him. The situation started when he told me he didn't believe in the word love. In the word it self or in saying it. A couple of months ago he said "I love you" and after that he says it all the time in all languages. The current issue is that he also said he doesn't believe in getting married. Do you think he will change his marriage believes like he did with the "L" word?
I am also moving to a different city in 2 months (due to work) and asked him to move closer. He initially said yes and now he is saying he might buy a house with his brother where he lives currently. This leaves me thinking that our separation is inevitable, since him buying a house is him growing roots away from me.

He is 25 and me 27 and in his defense he said he never had to think of all this relationship things before since i am his longest relationship.
In need of some guidance.!!!!

patti
i watch ur show all the time i have a issuse with my boyfriend ive been with him for six yrs whenever i bring up marriage he blows it off but were engaged what should i do please help

Hi Patti!

I love your show and love the tips you give the girls and miliionaires for dating. I'm a 27 year old teacher. I've been dating this guy exclusively for 2 years. He is 28 years old and has never had a serious relationship before. Our parents have celebrated holidays together and his little sister is getting married next year so people are wondering when our turn will come.... so am I! We lived together for a little over a year but I moved out about 6 months ago because I don't want to be a free cow. Did I spoil it by moving in and back out? Do you think I will ever get a ring from him?

I work out every single day at the gym for at least an hour. I am in my mid 40s and had been dating a Bank President for 3 1/2 yrs. I finally moved in with him and his excuse for not getting officially engaged or married was that he wanted to support me in an indulgent and extravagant manner. When I discovered that he was on an online dating site meeting new women, emailing, meeting up for drinks, I moved out. He has gone to counseling and church since I left. He emails me every day and begs me to come back because he has changed. He even bought the engagement ring after I told him I didn't even care anymore after I knew his cheating ways. I asked him for his email password to prove to me that he changed. He said NO. Really, does a guy change? Because a man has money, does it mean that he is entitled like Tiger Woods?
Thanks.

Hello Patti, how do i get on your show????
I live in Newport Beach Orange County...
I dont mine driving to LA for casting.
I am a single female 42 years old. Half Swedish
and Mexican. I work for Salvtore Ferragamo.
I am pretty hot and want to settle down.
Keep up the great job.Having a Blast wacthing your show!!!!!

Dearest Patti,

I discovered your show back in April 09 ...... Thank you for your dedication and desire to helping spread love around the world...... If it is at all possible, I would like to learn more about Alanna from Boston.the show was May 7th 2009..... I can email you my profile and perhaps you could forward it to her.... She was so unappreciated by Michael on her Jet ski date and deserves to be adored and treated like a princess... .... I just feel as if she and I would share warm and fun loving conversation together....If that is possible please email me.
Thank you kindly,
Hal

Hi Patti

I really truly love your show! I have been living with a men for 5 years! I have asked him several times ...each year, when are we getting married or where is my ring. He finally told me that he wanted to wait, because he wants to get his income together. So I feel that I should just move out!

Hi Patti,
If ever you decide to branch out and help women over or around 40 in the Boston area that would be cool and I am so there. I date quite a bit but really, I'm not "feeling it". We need you on the East coast, the cougar thing though is so overdone and yet I dig the negative attention but do not indulge (at this time).
Love your show and your personality. If you are in Boston, would love to do lunch.
You really are the best!
Cathy

OMG - I learned more in 3 hours yesterday than I have in the past 10 years of being "back out there". So how does one get to be considered for a match?

Hi Patti-- I need some advice on my long term relationship with my boyfriend. We are both 23 years old, graduated college last year, and have been living together for 2 years now (4 years total). I see everyone around me getting married and don't get why it isn't happening for me! We have had a few talks before, and he is really afraid of getting a divorce since both of his parents had been married 2 or 3 times and divorced when he was 8 years old. We are about to move to a new place with a roommate and just signed the 1 year lease, but I feel like his frame of mind won't change. I am tired of wasting my time but we really have a great relationship and I don't want to leave. What to do? Thank you so much!

Dear Patti:
You had chosen to play a vital role. You are welcome to join on our most successfull trip to our destiny.
Human potential is the most valuable gem on this planet and as known so far to us, in the vast Universe.Our existence consist in about 95% from 4 basic elements. Do you know them?
Reason behind this question is: the more we know, the further we can reach.

Patti,
Your show is great, both entertaining and educational, even to me, a person who is 57 years young! Any tips for a twice-divorced single Mom who has registered on dating sites but feels somewhat turned off by meeting people online? I am more of an introvert than not. I like a guy who is a people-person and who can make me laugh.When I see men my age, they are usually walking around with a woman who looks at least 10 years younger. It can be discouraging! Thanks!

Hey patti!!

My boyfriend and I (together for a year and a half) recently broke up. WE were veryy serious about each other...as in wanting to spend the rest of our lives together. I am 20 and he is 23...although we are both in school...I would like to work through our issues he says that I have problems communicating with him. He says he wants to get back togethr now, but I want to be able to open up to him about anything...any suggestions to get me to talk?? lol. I'm just awful at serious conversations...

Hi my names is Vanessa and i just wanted to say that i love your show its very helpful. I am 18 and my boyfriend is 21 we have been dating for 4 months and we are madly in love Ive never found anyone as sweet and loving as him and he respects me not wanted to have sex until marriage. Do you think that it is to early for me to consider marrying him?

O and Mrs. Patti one more thing,
At what age range is the best for marraige? like after your 25? or after you have a career? etc etc? Thank you.
-CoCo

Hi Patti,
If you are ever looking to add to your staff, please give me that opportunity. I have a background in recruiting. I am not afraid of hard work. Also, my ability to "read" people is pretty good.

I enjoy watching your show and like the fact that you say what you mean.

Much continual success,
Lorrayne

Hi Patti.
On Alex/Paul episode you were wearing this amazing sleeve blue mini dress.I absolutely loved it, and was wondering if you can let me know who is the designer,as well as where to purchase.
Thank you so much.

My boyfriend and I have been in a great committed relationship for a year and a half. We have good communication as in we both can express our our minds, now expressing the heart is a different matter. When we started dating we both agreed that we date to find a spouse. Well, I am ready to make the next step...he is not sure. I let him know that I will not be around waiting forever hoping that he will turn into Jane Austin's Mr Darcy. What's my next move? We are eachothers best friend and playmate.
Specs:
He's 27
I'm 30
I am in finance. He works for the government and has to move in a year and a half. (I told him I would be willing to move)

Hi Patti,
first, i want to say i love your show. My question for you is this. i am 25 yrs old and single; right now i am looking for serious relationship with a rich men. i don't where to meet these rich men and what are the things i need to do catch their attention.
Thanks

thanks so much for answering my questions about marriage Patti. It is true that we should wait until we both have our careers on track. I was just worried he wouldn't want to marry me even though he says he does, but today he gave me a promise ring and promised me that he would marry me someday. It makes me feel so much better just looking at that outward symbol of commitment. that to me is what is important about an engagement ring, a sign of commitment and loyalty.

Patty,
I soooo love you. I'm 53, I look 40. You look 30. I have lived in Italy with a Diplomat, I have traveled the world, I speak 4 languages and ebonics. I listen to every word you say when you speak. I too, have felt that I've never been lucky in love i.e. when you were speaking to the "reader" I actually fixed my best Jewish girlfriend up with her husband when I lived in Florida, they are still married 16 years later.
I want to work with you, for you. I am intelligent, attractive, elegant, quick witted, currently I'm a Court Stenographer but I'm packed if you would consider.
Love Dawn

I’m 4’11 and weigh a little under 100pds. I look very young, because I am 20. But, I am not small minded I consider myself advance for my age and with that I find myself very attracted to older men 29 to 34 sometimes even older. I am in love with a 29 year old man, he’s perfect. But, His friends always make fun of him because of how little I am, and he gets embarrassed. Yet on the side his friends try to get at me, making me drinks and looking at me as if, they are someone. "Mr 29" always says I have the perfect body I’m gorgeous yada yada, but won’t commit. I love him but it just shows he doesn’t, so I’m moving on. I want a man to commit, because if they don’t commit they don’t hit. Patti or anyone, how can I change myself so that older men find me appealing as a woman?

Hello Patty,

I´am a good looking woman from Germany and the same age like you. I looked always for a typ like you, to work with. Strong, direct and tuff. We had a family trucking company in Germany for 85 Years and I know, how hard it is to survive. It´s not easy to find a good character like you. I have now a cateringbusiness in N.C. and it´s very difficult to find good and trustful people. I mean, I have my friends ( family )here since 15 years, but it´s differnt. My friends say´s: no risk, no fun.

I like your show and I love to work with people, too. Do
you think, that is a possibility to come togehter for a talk?

Please, don´t bring my letter into this website.

Greetings Helga

Patti--Thank you!!!! Your "How to negotiate the ring" chapter worked wonders for me. I was watching your show for the first time and loved your hard hitting style and old fashioned values. Out of curiosity, I looked up the show and, even though I am happily coupled, discovered that you might be able to help me. I am a 43 year old attorney with three kids (10, 8 and 6). My significant other, an executive at a large corporation, is also 43 with 3 kids (19, 18 and 16). We have been seeing eachother 16 months. When we started dating, I did not care whether I ever married again, but as these things go, we both fell hard and things were good. Recently, I have wanted assurance that there was a future in this relationship--for me, that would mean marriage and one home. I was very worked up about how to broach the subject as I had doubt about whether he wanted to marry again or was up for the challenge of living with young kids again. I had doubt, that is, until I bought your book. So, I followed your advice with only small modifications: "Baby-I love the way you do little things day-to-day for me like bringing me a drink and a comfy chair today at the kids' game. Our relationship has felt important and life-changing to me, but I think it is only fair to let you know that I am not the type of woman who will be happy as a perpetual girlfriend. I would never give you an ultimatum, but if you don't want the same, or can't see yourself making a life with me and the kids, I want to know that, so I can move on." He was shocked and impressed that I would be brave enough to walk away. He practically fell over himself talking about logistics, timeframe and how to make it happen. He more than assured me that he had been thinking along the same lines. My eternal gratitude in getting me out of the cycle of doubt and fear.--Cindy

Patti,
I have been dating a man for 8 months but when you string the actual time we've spent together it's really 3 weeks. We are in a long distance relationship,He travels often for work and when we see each other it's amazing. We have broached the subject of marriage and he says he wants to marry me,but when he's returns home to his state He rarely calls or I can never reach by phone.

When he finally responds it's always text messaging,I have made it clear that texting is not acceptable but he continues. What should I do I've been late in responding in hopes that he would pick up the phone an call, he continues to text and if I'm slow to respond,He blows up about it in a text and I don't hear from him for days later in another text.

Hi Patti,
Love your show! It was awesome that you had a Millionaire from my little hometown of Courtenay, BC on the show!
My boyfriend and I have been dating for a year and a half. He lives about 5 hours away and across the water in Vancouver. He comes to visit each week on his days off from work. We are happy and we both agree that we want to get married someday. My problem is that I want to be closer to him, I want him to move here. To me, its silly to be dating when we live so far away. He keeps promising to move here, but NEVER looks for a job here and ignores the jobs I have pointed out to him to apply for. When I ask him about it he says the economy is bad and its hard for him to find a job, but he does want to be here. I think he is just putting it off, but I don't know why. We both have kids and both have been separated for a long time. Its been a year and a half... I just want him to move here so we can be closer and actually date. Do you think I should do the Me-Matum thing before my kids get too attached, I get too old.. I want to have another baby one day (Im almost 30, he is 35), which he says he wants to. Help!

Patti,

You crack me up!!! You're the best show on Bravo.

But, OMG, these last two millionaires were the lowest yet: trailer trash "tween" and the self-promoting "doctor" with major psychological issues. Are these guys deluded? It's going to take a lot more than millions of dollars to date these guys. Bravo to Alanna for walking away!!

Don't fret about the marriage stuff. All relationships are different. I lived with my now-husband for five years before we got married. I know you disapprove but I felt that our real commitment to each other was when we started living together. Since we weren't planning to have children, marriage was just the icing on the cake. Although I do admit that our relationship got even better after marriage.

What happened to your "superficialist" client?

No questions just wanted to say I love your show. And thank the stars for you and your wisdom on dating.

who is the stupid idiot who insulted you on tonight's (
04/16) show? what a loser she is, making a fool of herself on national TV. i love you and i love what you do. keep your head up and don't let anyone making you feel any less about yourself. Marriage is great being single doesn't make you any less human!