I love the Heidi and Bill storyline - any more updates on their relationship?
You’re not the only one who loves these two! They aren’t following my club rules for a successful relationship, but they’re trying! I love Heidi!
I know relationships all seem to have various speeds to them, however how long should one date another before marriage is considered? Should ultimatums ever be used? When should you walk away? Is there a timeline that should be followed? First time you meet their parents? He meets your parents? You are introduced to his friends and vice versa? Does it change depending on backgrounds, for example Race or Ethnicity? Or even religion? One of my colleagues dated a guy for 22 years and he never married her. I don't want to waste my time. I am 32 (he's 37) and we've dated for 4 years, I want a family and he has said he wants the same thing. What do I do? Help!
You have asked many questions, so I’ll tackle a few. First, you should consider marriage after 9 months of dating in a serious monogamous relationship, which is in my book “Become Your Own Matchmaker”. I don’t advise ultimatums, rather “Me-amatums”, which is another technique highlighted in my book. Many of your other questions are answered in my book as well... But to get to the last, important question, if you have “dated” for 4 years and he hasn’t proposed, it’s time to take the next step and have a serious talk about the your collaborative future together.
You are adorable and I love the show. I am increasingly irritated at a few of the disgruntled millionaires trying to insult you by showcasing you are not married. Why do they assume your boyfriend is not ready? Does it occur to them that you might not be married because you are not ready?
Thanks for the love and support! I’m not sure the millionaires assume my boyfriend isn’t ready or not. Some of these guys are angry and will attack any perceived “problem” with me or my staff if we supply tough love. I showcase the philosophy that you don’t have to be married to be happy or in love. I’m content at where the relationship is at present – this what I want.
Hello! I love your program! I am interested to meet a man throu your club.. Want to find out how I can register? Thank you,
I Love your show, your no nonsensence attitude toward your millionaire guests. you handle them all with honesty. i am not a millionaire.
Hello Patti, I watch your show faithfully and love it. I recently moved to Charlotte, NC from NYC and have not had much luck in find even a decent date. I wish you had a show or program for my age group which is 50. It is so hard to find a good financially capable man. I am a young 50 and don't look my age. I want to be pampered and spoiled. I am intellegent and have a lot to offer a relationship. I love to be spontaneous and have fun. Do you have any suggestions? I don't do the bar thing and am not trying to go out alone. I don't know anyone here so have not made friends to go out with. Hope to hear from you soon.
First off - your show is hilarious and refreshing! Great to see someone demanding solid values in the sometimes vapid world of dating.
I am 23 (as is my boyfriend). We have been dating for 5 1/2 years, and been through a lot. We are currently living a block away from each other and happy as can be. A few months ago we decided to go ring shopping, as we decided to spend out lives together. In the same time period his older sister became engaged. When my boyfriend told his parents about getting engaged to me they demanded he wait until his sister is married. They feel the attention needs to be solely on her. He wants to oblige. I find this completely ridiculous, considering we are two adults deciding to spend our lives together. I am not sure how to deal with this... Thoughts?
I get it that You are very against couples moving in together. What about "older" couples? "over 50"? I have been seeing a man whom I knew/dated for quite a while way back in my college days. I. stupidly, had married someone else (infatuation). When I divorced, he contacted me and came back into my life. He says that he always wanted to marry me and wants to now...We have dated now for about a year, my kids love him, and he has never been married. He says that I was his true love from years ago,and that's why he never married. He did live with a woman, but, it didn't work out. She left him for a younger man/rock band musician a few years ago. I am not sure that I ever want to marry again, but, I am having trouble keeping my home/bills, and he lives in an apt. and wants to help us save our home. I am wondering if we should move in together to save my home,test our relationship, and give me an idea if I want to remarry and if my kids and he get along under one roof? This is certainly different than young people moving in together. What is your take on this kind of "older" relationship when it comes to "living together"?
Patty, I think you are great!!! I really admire you and love your ability to "tell it like it is" and it's only because you care so much. I also really admire the way you believe men should treat us ladies and that you won't tolerate disrepect from them.
I am 48, almost 49 years old and have never been married. I think there is a stigma attached to being over 40 and never married. I think guys "wonder" about me. Is there hope and what is your advice. Love your book, too!
Patti - I really enjoy watching your show and think some of the matches you've made are great. Do you have any plans, down to road, to do a recap show to show who really did make it to the alter? I'm sure all of the shows fans would enjoy that.
I think my husband is in love with you! Whenever you`re on he`s glued to that TV and tells me that it`s because he loves to see how obnoxious those Millionaires are, but i`m sure it`s your blue eyes and black Cleopatra hair! What do you suggest for this case of platonic love ? I`m just kidding - All the best of luck with those crazy man you have to hook up !!!!
Hi Patti, I am a 29yr old single mom of a toddler, I have found many men scarred off by that fact. I have always been attracted to intellectual men as well as artistic ones, I feel that I am very attractive and getting hit on is not the problem. Men around my age are ready to start their own family not join one ready made, what are some tips to finding someone who will accept my life and child?
Patti You are awesome. I would love to work for you. Could you please tell me what brand of makeup you use. I love your eyeshadow and lip gloss. You look amazing and absolutely do not need a makeover. (Despite what your "cougar" client thinks.)
I've just started watching your show, and now i'm addicted! I'm 21, and I've dated 6 gay men before, one being my ex-fiance of two years. I'm usually the first person (even before their parents or friends) they "come out" to because they say i'm so accepting of people. I like a sensitive, well-kept man with my same interests (stereotypical of gay men). How can you tell if a guy is gay, or just metro? Why do gay men date women (if they say they knew all along?!)? And WHY do they come out to ME? Thanks!
Hi!! I just need a bit of advice. I am 26 and my boyfriend is 30. We have been together for a year and a half and we've actually been living together for a bit over a year. He's been previously married which ended really badly with his ex cheating on him. He has always been honest with me about marriage not being his priority and not really too interested in doing it again. We are really happy together and we have a home and a dog. But now I'm looking for more. I want to get married and I want to have a family, but whenever I bring up the idea of getting married he gets really upset and says he's just not interested in getting married and he reminds me of how happy we are and there's no reason to want to change that. I'm scared that he'll never want those things even though he has said (very few times) that he might want to get married one day.
Omg patty I looove heidi she is so sweet and naturaly beautiful-she glows from the inside!!I always see her line of clothing on the shopbop website and the clothes are really cute but I've never purchased any of it(pricey too!) Now that I have sort of gotten to know the owner behind the brand and see that she is so nice and genuine made me want to try to pick up a piece or two sometime from her line!The episode really helped give exposure in a positive way to the ancients like me who are still not really aware of the line!
dear patti, you and your show have me hooked but i can't tell many of my friends about it, people snicker. what's that about? Your show rocks AND moves mountains. you are a champ. avi lapovsky, san francisco april 11, 2009
Your show always makes me smile, it is part of my "me" time when I'm at the gym. (Thank goodness for the TV hookup on the elliptical!)
Was thinking today when watching a rerun of Heidi & Bill (they are too cute): I'm married to a great guy for 8 years, we have 2 amazing kids...a lot of the same advice you give to the members of the Millionaire's Club applies to married couples as well. Treat your marriage like you're still dating sometimes, keep the relationship fresh, stir things up when they need stirring (sometimes Saturday nights are a bust, but a pushup bra can make any night a lot more fun after the kids are asleep)!
Keep the fun coming, thanks for sharing your experiences and clients' experiences with us.
Have you ever considered Twitter to keep fans up to date with your clients and shows?
Patti: I am a 21 year old college student and am in a committed, monogamous relationship with my 28 year old boyfriend of 2 1/2 years. He treats me with much love, respect, and dignity and we have hopes and plans of marriage in our future (when the time is right for both of us). There are people in my life that have scoffed at or criticized me for the sentiments my boyfriend and I share, particularly because of my age--the attitude is generally that I am too young to know what I want or to be truly in love.
While I recognize I still have a lot of learning and growth, do you think that someone cannot experience true love at my age? Is it somehow wrong or naive of me to be excited about working towards this common goal? What "stage of life" (rather than specific age) do you think is best to enter into marriage?
i enjoy your show very much it is very interesting,i am 48 years old and look 35 years old i am fit and love my long walks,tennis,dancing.but finding a man in his 40's and being active thats hard so ill keep watching out for mr right, if there is one.
I am interesting to find a right man. I do not know what you are requesting from me to do that? I am leaving in Ireland but I want to move to US.
Hey Patti - Love your show and wanted to say i was SHOCKED when you said your age. You look amazing - I thought you were mid 30s! Keep it up girl!
Your constant insults towards women with curly hair are extremely annoying and offensive. Don't you realize that flat-ironing and straightening causes permanent damage when you do it too much? Your ridiculous assertion that men don't like women with curly hair is also laughable. I have gorgeous, soft, touchable curls that all the men in my life have loved (including my husband, who gets mad when I threaten to straighten my locks). If you're a confident, poised, self-accepting woman, you don't need to change your physical features (particularly the cute, definitive ones) to get a man. You should be encouraging your girls to be who they are in order to find love. Then again...I guess you're more interested in breeding a new generation of gold-diggers than empowering women to love themselves in order to find love.
Hi! I am currently dating a man who is 14 years older (I'm in my 30's and attractive) than I am, and he currently owns his own business. He seems to have everything together, but he's rather dominating in some comments. I like a person who is in control, but fear the control that may be overpowering in a marriage situation esp as it relates to $. Is 14 years older a little bit beyond common interests. I'm not to attracted to him physically (little hair on head, not attractive in the face and not extremely fit). Do you think I should be married to a sucessful older man without the chemistry/attraction? I have before gone out with attractive men, but long distance (another country/moving) has gotten in the way. Please answer this burning question.
I love your Show! I am a 35 year old single mother I own my own home have a career and I am fit and attractive. I was in a relationship with a man for 11 years. One day he just decided not to talk to me anymore I was devastated no explanation no phone calls nothing I'm so confused that was in Nov. In Feb he started a relationship with a 22 year old ( He is 37) divorced stripper with a child They became exclusive in April Moved in in Aug and married in October....I'm a wreck Ive tried dating but I wasn't ready. I bought your book and I am now doing the Dating Detox for 90 days I am in day 45. I feel like Im never going to find anyone what am I doing wrong?
My name is Ingrid and I"m from Romania.I sow you on television and I like your sow very much. Thank you for your existence. with love Ingrid
Hi Patti, I absolutely love your show! Here is my issue...I'm 30, work as a chemist, live a nice life, drive a nice car, etc. I'm a super independent woman as I've taken care of myself most of my life. When it comes to dating, I really try to let the guy lead; I expect a guy to open my doors, pay for the meal, and walk me to my door. If he doesn't do those things, he's out. I've been told by so many guys that I'm gorgeous and that "independence" is such an attractive quality. But for some reason, I NEVER attract any male versions of myself. It seems like every guy that likes me is either super insecure or needy to the extent that they become baby-like. In fact, the two boyfriends I've ever had ended up being spineless babies.
Patti, HELP! I have no idea how to find a man that suits me. There are no strong men knocking on my door, and I'm starting to feel the pressure of being in my 30s and lonely. I seem to have created a pattern and honestly, I don't want to end up being married to a baby.
Love your show, Patti!
The shoes you wore at the Bravo Awards on April 14th- Who is the maker and where did you get them???? They were HOT!
Patti - My sister & I love watching your show and have incorporated many "Pattisms" into our vocablulary. Here is my deal, my boyfriend of 18 months showed up at my condo after a couple of pops and broke up with me the day before Thanksgiving. Out of the blue. Since, the initial break up we have seen and slept with each other numerous times....Three weeks ago, after we had dinner together and he did not want to sleep with me..... I put the kybosh on it, no contact. A few emails were exchanged but no phone. He asked to be friends, "going out to dinner" friends, email friends....all to which I said no. After a vacation with friends and holidays, I went to download photos and had no cord. He had it but "forgot" to bring it into work the next day. When I emailed him to ask him if I could stop by during my lunch hour - he suggested that we go to his place and grab lunch at a spot nearby. We get there and he decides that we can make lunch, (I am a chef too) and while we are making the lunch he comes up behind me and starts nuzzling me and kissing my neck the whole nine yards. Things totally went too far.....Our relationship was in his post break up words a "b+" and it was it was pretty close to perfect, he took me out to dinner,shows, baseball games, complete with trips to Mexico, Napa, The French Laundry? One important detail, he is 34 and I am 37, when we started dating he was 367 lbs now he is 210. I am attractive, green eyed, auburn hair, freckle face, I am in shape, have a trainer to keep my in line. We are both in finance and have successful careers. Although the months before we broke up I was consumed by a prosfessional exam and his was stressed with the markt. We never had a fight that was not over and resolve in a half an hour. We always laugh and have fun together. He admitted that he pulled the rug from underneath me.....I feel like I am in mixed message hell. Oh, and do I ever love him. His family situation is like a bad lifetime movie, I mean bad and he is uber embrassed about it. He said to my face when we found out friends were pregnant that he wanted to have babies with me. Since we have been broken up he plays poker, goes out with his friends (ALL ARE MARRIED!!!)and hangs out by himself at home. Patti, I am likely being stupid but my gut is telling me his is my true love.........
I am watching you on Tyra right now, and the question about when you are ready to go to the next step-marriage.
I have been with my boyfriend for over 1yr 6 months, we both own our own houses, I just turned 39, my clock is ticking, I know I want to spend the rest of my life with him, he is 37 successful and we both have never been married. we randomly talk about selling our houses and building one together, but is it all talk? how can I bring up the subject of marriage, if he is not ready to get married, why is he wasting my time??? or is he, I just want to know how he feels, but dont know how to go about it.
Thanks!! ps I love your show on Bravo
who is the stupid idiot who insulted you on tonight's ( 04/16) show? what a loser she is, making a fool of herself on national TV. i love you and i love what you do. keep your head up and don't let anyone making you feel any less about yourself. Marriage is great being single doesn't make you any less human!
No questions just wanted to say I love your show. And thank the stars for you and your wisdom on dating.
You crack me up!!! You're the best show on Bravo.
But, OMG, these last two millionaires were the lowest yet: trailer trash "tween" and the self-promoting "doctor" with major psychological issues. Are these guys deluded? It's going to take a lot more than millions of dollars to date these guys. Bravo to Alanna for walking away!!
Don't fret about the marriage stuff. All relationships are different. I lived with my now-husband for five years before we got married. I know you disapprove but I felt that our real commitment to each other was when we started living together. Since we weren't planning to have children, marriage was just the icing on the cake. Although I do admit that our relationship got even better after marriage.
What happened to your "superficialist" client?
Hi Patti, Love your show! It was awesome that you had a Millionaire from my little hometown of Courtenay, BC on the show! My boyfriend and I have been dating for a year and a half. He lives about 5 hours away and across the water in Vancouver. He comes to visit each week on his days off from work. We are happy and we both agree that we want to get married someday. My problem is that I want to be closer to him, I want him to move here. To me, its silly to be dating when we live so far away. He keeps promising to move here, but NEVER looks for a job here and ignores the jobs I have pointed out to him to apply for. When I ask him about it he says the economy is bad and its hard for him to find a job, but he does want to be here. I think he is just putting it off, but I don't know why. We both have kids and both have been separated for a long time. Its been a year and a half... I just want him to move here so we can be closer and actually date. Do you think I should do the Me-Matum thing before my kids get too attached, I get too old.. I want to have another baby one day (Im almost 30, he is 35), which he says he wants to. Help!
Patti, I have been dating a man for 8 months but when you string the actual time we've spent together it's really 3 weeks. We are in a long distance relationship,He travels often for work and when we see each other it's amazing. We have broached the subject of marriage and he says he wants to marry me,but when he's returns home to his state He rarely calls or I can never reach by phone.
When he finally responds it's always text messaging,I have made it clear that texting is not acceptable but he continues. What should I do I've been late in responding in hopes that he would pick up the phone an call, he continues to text and if I'm slow to respond,He blows up about it in a text and I don't hear from him for days later in another text.
Patti--Thank you!!!! Your "How to negotiate the ring" chapter worked wonders for me. I was watching your show for the first time and loved your hard hitting style and old fashioned values. Out of curiosity, I looked up the show and, even though I am happily coupled, discovered that you might be able to help me. I am a 43 year old attorney with three kids (10, 8 and 6). My significant other, an executive at a large corporation, is also 43 with 3 kids (19, 18 and 16). We have been seeing eachother 16 months. When we started dating, I did not care whether I ever married again, but as these things go, we both fell hard and things were good. Recently, I have wanted assurance that there was a future in this relationship--for me, that would mean marriage and one home. I was very worked up about how to broach the subject as I had doubt about whether he wanted to marry again or was up for the challenge of living with young kids again. I had doubt, that is, until I bought your book. So, I followed your advice with only small modifications: "Baby-I love the way you do little things day-to-day for me like bringing me a drink and a comfy chair today at the kids' game. Our relationship has felt important and life-changing to me, but I think it is only fair to let you know that I am not the type of woman who will be happy as a perpetual girlfriend. I would never give you an ultimatum, but if you don't want the same, or can't see yourself making a life with me and the kids, I want to know that, so I can move on." He was shocked and impressed that I would be brave enough to walk away. He practically fell over himself talking about logistics, timeframe and how to make it happen. He more than assured me that he had been thinking along the same lines. My eternal gratitude in getting me out of the cycle of doubt and fear.--Cindy
I´am a good looking woman from Germany and the same age like you. I looked always for a typ like you, to work with. Strong, direct and tuff. We had a family trucking company in Germany for 85 Years and I know, how hard it is to survive. It´s not easy to find a good character like you. I have now a cateringbusiness in N.C. and it´s very difficult to find good and trustful people. I mean, I have my friends ( family )here since 15 years, but it´s differnt. My friends say´s: no risk, no fun.
I like your show and I love to work with people, too. Do you think, that is a possibility to come togehter for a talk?
Please, don´t bring my letter into this website.
I’m 4’11 and weigh a little under 100pds. I look very young, because I am 20. But, I am not small minded I consider myself advance for my age and with that I find myself very attracted to older men 29 to 34 sometimes even older. I am in love with a 29 year old man, he’s perfect. But, His friends always make fun of him because of how little I am, and he gets embarrassed. Yet on the side his friends try to get at me, making me drinks and looking at me as if, they are someone. "Mr 29" always says I have the perfect body I’m gorgeous yada yada, but won’t commit. I love him but it just shows he doesn’t, so I’m moving on. I want a man to commit, because if they don’t commit they don’t hit. Patti or anyone, how can I change myself so that older men find me appealing as a woman?
Patty, I soooo love you. I'm 53, I look 40. You look 30. I have lived in Italy with a Diplomat, I have traveled the world, I speak 4 languages and ebonics. I listen to every word you say when you speak. I too, have felt that I've never been lucky in love i.e. when you were speaking to the "reader" I actually fixed my best Jewish girlfriend up with her husband when I lived in Florida, they are still married 16 years later. I want to work with you, for you. I am intelligent, attractive, elegant, quick witted, currently I'm a Court Stenographer but I'm packed if you would consider. Love Dawn
thanks so much for answering my questions about marriage Patti. It is true that we should wait until we both have our careers on track. I was just worried he wouldn't want to marry me even though he says he does, but today he gave me a promise ring and promised me that he would marry me someday. It makes me feel so much better just looking at that outward symbol of commitment. that to me is what is important about an engagement ring, a sign of commitment and loyalty.
Hi Patti, first, i want to say i love your show. My question for you is this. i am 25 yrs old and single; right now i am looking for serious relationship with a rich men. i don't where to meet these rich men and what are the things i need to do catch their attention. Thanks
My boyfriend and I have been in a great committed relationship for a year and a half. We have good communication as in we both can express our our minds, now expressing the heart is a different matter. When we started dating we both agreed that we date to find a spouse. Well, I am ready to make the next step...he is not sure. I let him know that I will not be around waiting forever hoping that he will turn into Jane Austin's Mr Darcy. What's my next move? We are eachothers best friend and playmate. Specs: He's 27 I'm 30 I am in finance. He works for the government and has to move in a year and a half. (I told him I would be willing to move)
Hi Patti. On Alex/Paul episode you were wearing this amazing sleeve blue mini dress.I absolutely loved it, and was wondering if you can let me know who is the designer,as well as where to purchase. Thank you so much.
Hi Patti, If you are ever looking to add to your staff, please give me that opportunity. I have a background in recruiting. I am not afraid of hard work. Also, my ability to "read" people is pretty good.
I enjoy watching your show and like the fact that you say what you mean.
Much continual success, Lorrayne
O and Mrs. Patti one more thing, At what age range is the best for marraige? like after your 25? or after you have a career? etc etc? Thank you. -CoCo
Hi my names is Vanessa and i just wanted to say that i love your show its very helpful. I am 18 and my boyfriend is 21 we have been dating for 4 months and we are madly in love Ive never found anyone as sweet and loving as him and he respects me not wanted to have sex until marriage. Do you think that it is to early for me to consider marrying him?
My boyfriend and I (together for a year and a half) recently broke up. WE were veryy serious about each other...as in wanting to spend the rest of our lives together. I am 20 and he is 23...although we are both in school...I would like to work through our issues he says that I have problems communicating with him. He says he wants to get back togethr now, but I want to be able to open up to him about anything...any suggestions to get me to talk?? lol. I'm just awful at serious conversations...
Patti, Your show is great, both entertaining and educational, even to me, a person who is 57 years young! Any tips for a twice-divorced single Mom who has registered on dating sites but feels somewhat turned off by meeting people online? I am more of an introvert than not. I like a guy who is a people-person and who can make me laugh.When I see men my age, they are usually walking around with a woman who looks at least 10 years younger. It can be discouraging! Thanks!
Dear Patti: You had chosen to play a vital role. You are welcome to join on our most successfull trip to our destiny. Human potential is the most valuable gem on this planet and as known so far to us, in the vast Universe.Our existence consist in about 95% from 4 basic elements. Do you know them? Reason behind this question is: the more we know, the further we can reach.
Hi Patti-- I need some advice on my long term relationship with my boyfriend. We are both 23 years old, graduated college last year, and have been living together for 2 years now (4 years total). I see everyone around me getting married and don't get why it isn't happening for me! We have had a few talks before, and he is really afraid of getting a divorce since both of his parents had been married 2 or 3 times and divorced when he was 8 years old. We are about to move to a new place with a roommate and just signed the 1 year lease, but I feel like his frame of mind won't change. I am tired of wasting my time but we really have a great relationship and I don't want to leave. What to do? Thank you so much!