Ask Patti

Patti answers questions about long distance relationships and popping the big question!

on Mar 19, 2009

How long should someone wait for the "Big Question"? My brother has been with the same girl for almost three years, she moved in with him last June. The rest of the family and their friends are waiting for him to pop the question, but he seems reluctant. How long should his girlfriend wait before she takes matters in her own hands?

First of all you need to run to the bookstore and buy my book Become Your Own Matchmaker. A woman should never give a man more than a year. Never move in with him without a ring (ahem, Rachel). And in my book it will give her the negotiation words to get what she wants!

Hi Patti!
I'm a huge fan of your show and even have your book, which gives so much great insight into how we should be raising the bar as women (both in how we portray ourselves and what we accept in a partner). I had a question about my own relationship. I was dating a guy for a month and it was great. We became such good friends, and progressed the relationship, had the same ideals about family, wanted the same out of life- we couldn't see enough of each other, but he then went to the opposite coast for work for 3 months. He's asked ME to fly out there to see him. He's not offered to pay for the flight, and I know he doesn't make a lot of money, but should I expect him to offer to pay at least for half? What do you think? Thanks for all your great advice!

The relationship is too soon for a guy who makes no money to buy a ticket like that – however, if this guy was serious about you he would figure out a way to come back and see you for at least a weekend. I suggest he chase you – not the other way around.

Hi Patti,
Love the show! I am 29 I have been dating a (25 year old) guy for about a year now, however a month after our initial date, he left for boot camp. I stuck with him through boot and his numerous moves. I have to say I am completely devoted and in love with him, and I want to be in this for the long haul... however, I just want to know, can, and do you think long distance relationships work, and if so, HOW? I NEED TIPS! Right now he is stationed on American soil, however, he is about 800 miles away, and I can only get down there once every 2 months. My friends think I am going on vacation, however, I call my trips "relationship maintenance."

First of all, long distance relationships go faster to seal the deal. But you must give your guy ‘chase space’ in order to miss you especially since he is serving our country and has a lot on his mind. Men in the service tend to marry faster as they often don’t know when they’re going to come home from a mission. The way to keep the relationship alive is through communication. In today’s modern society you can use text and email to keep the love alive as he may not be by a phone.

Hello Patti,
Do you have any plans to do the Matchmaker on the east coast? I would love to help in NYC!?
Just curious,

Our service,, is an international service - WE COVER EVERYWHERE!