Patti Stanger

Breaking down Joseph and Xander

on Feb 5, 2008

As far as Xander goes, he is kind of similar in some ways. He is an overachiever, he is very insecure, and his last wife left him for another man. He's got that edge where he feels like he's not good enough and he has to over sell it. Being that he's in the payment processing business for the porn industry, he loves to lend himself to hot, very visually driven, beautiful women. He goes for the bombshell, perfect ten look on the playmate scale. He doesn't pick someone that's natural, but instead someone with the fake boobs, fake butt, and the whole nine yards. The Pamela Anderson type look. I think that he's so obsessed with looks, that he went for the hot Latin girl and he over sold it. He begged her to like him and she saw the insecurity he had and the one thing women don't want, is the insecure man. This turns them off, they want to feel that the man knows what he's doing, he's in control, and he's ready to protect her at all costs. So all in all he over sold it, and when he saw that she was losing interest, he put her down. He said to her, "Oh you don't like me. Oh I can see that you don't like me. Oh I can see you're not going to get another date with me." This completely turned her off. So what I would say to people, all we can do if you are a thirsty horse is lead you to water, and hope you drink. But, I can't force someone to follow my policies and my rules and regulations. I trained him to not do that and he absolutely over stepped his boundary, over shot it, and he lost in the end.

I thought one of the cleverest things we ever did on camera was the one-way glass, behind the curtain so to speak. I think this was really advantageous to the men but not so advantageous to the women. Women didn't get to see that they were being screened in advance. Men liked it because they're spending the money and they deserve to have the edge, and I get that. However, it doesn't always work in their benefit. For example, the first girl that Joseph picked wouldn't have picked him because he was short. So, I sold her to give him a chance. In the end we are attracted to what we are attracted to and nobody can change that.