Not long afterwards, I had a chance to hang out with the other Millionaire on the episode. This was, of course, Paul the NBA Player, an extremely nice guy. We had a lot of time to kill, so Paul and I began talking. I confided to Paul that I was concerned that the girls wouldn’t know, at first, which one of us was the 39 year old out-of-shape businessman, and which one of us was the 23 year-old professional basketball player. After all, I pointed out, we’re both about the same height, (give or take a couple of feet), with the same chiseled good looks (give or take a chisel) and massive upper body strength (well, we both have mass). I did not want, I told him, to steal his thunder and run off with all of the girls’ attention. I expressed concern that it might be somewhat embarrassing if Paul was caught on camera without any girls to talk to, tentatively poking the shoulders of those girls in the outer rings surrounding me and attempting to peel them off for a conversation.
After some sober consideration of the problem, Paul responded that he felt capable of handling any dejection that might accompany such a situation, but that he was appreciative of my concern.
Having established good buddy chemistry, I used the next ten minutes to give Paul some pointers on his basketball game. I told him that I felt he should be driving more aggressively for the basket and taking fewer baseline jump shots, and that furthermore he was setting his picks too early. He asked which games I had seen him play. I told him that I hadn’t actually seen him in action, but was such a good coach of basketball that I was able to diagnose his play faults simply by examining his bone structure. I began to explain how the ten years I spent in a kung fu basketball temple deep in China had honed my coaching skills, but I began to sense his attention wandering. Before I could chastise him, however, our production work began.
Now, I know that the first question most of you are going to have is “Alex, how did you do that flying stunt?” And unfortunately, my written agreement with Bravo forbids me to divulge that kind of production secret. I CAN tell you about the penguins, but not until their non-disclosure agreement runs out next month. And for those of you who want to know if that was free-range okra I was harvesting, the answer is yes, as I refuse to work with caged okra, no matter how good the part.
But most of you figured all of that out just by watching the episode.