The Navy Seal Of Love

Making a Match: Crashing Chilli's Date!

Making a Match: Larry Birkhead & Melyssa Ford

Patti Turns NeNe's Bridesmaids to Brides

A Waste of a Good Mirror

Getting a Nice Guy for Rachel Uchitel

Breaking 'Matchmaker' History

Two Millionaires That Shouldn't Be Single

The Critical Dick Goes Home Alone

A Dorky Doc and a Hopeless Romantic

Carson Kressley, the Millionaire Whisperer

Patti's Vlog: Everyone Gets a Valentine!

Patti's Vlog: Patti's the Love Doctor

Patti's Vlog: Stefan Richter Tried to Date Patti!

A Bashful Beauty and a Not-So-Golden Oldie

A Shallow Old Dog and a Sweet River Rat

What Rosie Wants and a Gay Hugh Hefner

Great Expectations and the Running Man

Courtney Kerr and a Swedish Peacock

Sarcastic Cheban and a 'Man-diego' Bachelor

Sweetheart Swayze and a Virtual Phantom

Patti's Biggest, Most Tempting Mixer Yet

A Red-Hot Night for the Millionaires

Time for Some Spice: The Ginger Mixer!

Gaynor Gets the Girl (So Does Allison!)

Adam Gaynor Wins, Allison Baver Skates By

Patti Says Leave Boss at the Business

Chef K Wins One for the Lesbian Team

Mitch Berger, NFL Peter Pan, Grows Up

Johnny Out Sweets Yigit

Sweet Yigit Gets No Sugar on His Date

Just Robin Being Robin

Bye-Bye Bradley, Hello Kitty

Robin Kassner Gets Serious

The Rules According to Aimee

Matt "The Candy Man" Riviera

Time for Patti to Give Me a Raise

Skeet Shooting is a Bad Date Idea

Let the Man Be the Man on a Date

Irv's Nerve

Patti's Favorite Episode

The Navy Seal Of Love

Its analyzing vs. quick decision when it comes to Patti's love life

So the other week I touched on my knack for love advice and assessment, which started the whole "what do you think of Patti's relationship?" and, "how is your own relationship going?" line of questioning thing.

Well, Patti's relationship is just as unique as she is (what else would you expect?) On one hand, she strives for perfection within it, but still accepts the human factor of it. She loves to be treated with respect and chivalry, and at the same time loves to treat and give her mate all that she can. A lot of times I see her more youthful when she's with Andy, more carefree and calm.On the other hand, she's still Patti, and Andy is still Andy. It's New York meets California. It's analyzing vs. quick decision. It's two completely different people who somehow compliment each other.

Do I think it will last forever? Do I think it's a perfect match? Do I have a love assessment? Yes, I have answers to all of those questions. Am I going to tell you? No. Let's let Patti and Andy live their lives together and see what fate has in store for them; and watch it all unfold on the little screen. Voyeurs! The lot of you!

As for me, my own relationship is just darn peachy. I have a beautiful girlfriend with a good heart. She's smart, supportive, loving, affectionate and a spectacular kisser. We know each other in and out and can handle each other's quirks and neurosis for the most part.

I think working for Patti has helped me get to this point in my life. If it weren't for her, I wouldn't even have my love (see below.) I learned so much about relationships and dating and reaction and thought processes and love and desire. I was so well-armed when I met Rach (my g/f), everything was easy and fell right into place. When you already have love and chemistry, a little knowledge can go a long way. There truly are commandments of dating one should follow.When I started with Patti, I was a little cynical, cranky and had given up on the whole love thing. I was going to stick with late night partying and random flings for comfort. That didn't work for Patti. She immediately started schooling me on how to treat dating, perspectives of love and myself. I learned trade secrets some people would kill or die for. I became a navy seal of love! She trained me right, then put that training to the test by introducing me to Rachel. After the first date, BAM! DONE. LOVE. Then, my first client, BAM! DONE. He's in love. And so on and so on. I wish I could tell you what I know, but in the wrong hands in can be totally ruined.

There are very few true matchmakers out there for a reason. It's best if you just hire us to handle you and walk you through it. That's what we're here for. So, what about you lovebirds out there? How are your relationships going?


Making a Match: Larry Birkhead & Melyssa Ford

Find out what Patti really thought about sexy Melyssa and shy guy Larry's dates.

This week I got to meet one of the sweetest guys in the world, Larry Birkhead: the boy from Kentucky. There’s just one problem: he hasn’t dated in like a decade. This guy needs practice. I mean, he’s drop dead gorgeous and he can’t do anything. I can send him out into the world and the world of a mixer and a date, but he could botch it. Candace and I will give him some mock dating experience and I will pick his date for him. The first time he’ll meet her will be when they go out for the first time. No chance for him to get nervous, and more importantly, no time for the girl to look him up and see who he is. He can stand on his own two feet and just be himself, not Anna Nicole’s ex.

He can stand on his own two feet and just be himself, not Anna Nicole’s ex.

My other client this week is drop dead gorgeous: Melyssa Ford. She’s the star of Blood Sweat and Heels, she used to be in a bunch of music videos, and she was nicknamed the "Video Vixen". I know it’s hard to turn off the beauty and the booty, so I bring her to doctor Pat Allen. Doctor Pat and I have worked together for years. Doctor Pat told Melyssa that she should be leading with her brain. Melyssa can be sexy no matter what: but can she look for the guy who’s interested in what she has to say, not what she looks like?

So I’m doing something new: I get Candace and David to bring a bunch of good appropriate men and women to the mixer. I just want a handful of guys for Melyssa, and a handful of girls for Larry. I introduce the best ones to Melyssa for her to choose from, and I’ll pick the best girl to set up Larry with on a blind date. Melyssa picks Jay. Jay listened to the conversation, and remembered Melyssa liked bowling and cigars. And he took her on a perfect, fun, get-to-know-you date. Meanwhile, Larry met up with his date at Universal Studios. He had a private tour set up, and he and Michelle met for the first time. They had a blast. She knew who he was, but they got past that and they got to know each other. And he took her for dinner and even got a kiss at the end.

So in the end, I’m so happy that both Larry and Melyssa got to learn something. Larry got to know he can be himself and there’s no need to be shy, and she knows (Melyssa) that there are guys out there who can look past her booty and see the great girl underneath.

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