Ask Patti: Fairy Tale Love?

Patti dispels myths about finding a Prince Charming.

I am a 21 year old college student and am in a committed, monogamous relationship with my 28 year old boyfriend of 2 1/2 years. While I recognize I still have a lot of learning and growth to do, do you think that someone cannot experience true love at my age? Is it somehow wrong or naive of me to be excited about working towards this common goal? What "stage of life" (rather than specific age) do you think is best to enter into marriage?

Cat, you’re in a catch-22. On the one hand, you’re young and haven’t experienced life – you may be smart, but you have no wisdom. On the other hand, your heart is telling you you’re in love and that this is the ONE. The question you have to ask yourself is, “What’s more important to me… finishing the stage of life that is freedom, or taking the next step.” That’s a question you have to ask yourself seriously. The one thing you don’t want to do is take the wrong step.


Hi Patti!
I've just started watching your show, and now I'm addicted! I'm 21, and I've dated 6 gay men before, one being my ex-fiancé of two years. I'm usually the first person (even before their parents or friends) they "come out" to because they say I'm so accepting of people. I like a sensitive, well-kept man with my same interests (stereotypical of gay men). How can you tell if a guy is gay, or just metro? Why do gay men date women (if they say they knew all along?!) And WHY do they come out to ME? Thanks!

Dawn, STOP IT. There are PLENTY of well-kept men out in the world that aren’t gay. What, are you picking them up at gay bars? You know what you’re doing, and why you’re doing it. This sounds more like a person that is purposely sabotaging their own love life because they’re afraid to be in serious relationship more than anything else.

I watch Millionaire Matchmaker and wonder is there ever a Cinderella? Can't a rich man fall for a poor woman? I've been looking for my Prince. Hope he shows up soon. Don't men want a down to earth woman anymore? I'm 53 and cute as a button. Just want to find a great guy Patti. I know there are a lot of us out there.

Tough love time… life isn’t a fairy tale. We all want it to be, but it's not. You’re a cute 53 year old, great. Find a GOOD man with a GOOD job that wants to make you his world. Worry more about being rich in love – not living in a castle.

I've been dating someone for nearly a year and have no clue where it's heading or what it is. At times he makes me feel like a million, the other times not so much. What should I do, ride the waves or get out of the waters?

ASK HIM. COMMUNICATE. Become Your Own Matchmaker (my book) answers this common question. You need to read it. You need to be firm. You need to be in control.

Hey Patti,
Single male here. I'm viewed as attractive, funny, easy going. I never have trouble attracting women. The problem I run into is women are all looking for guys that are rich. I work but don't have the money to do the finer things in life. I just can't seem to attract the woman that I want because of my financial position.
Need Help!

Well, if the type of woman you want requires you to be in a better financial position, then get to work. Or start changing your expectations.

Hi Patti,
When will I stop feeling bad for breaking up with a good guy?

Right now...GET OVER IT! Life is too short, and by breaking up with someone you don’t want to be with – you did the best thing in the world for them.


Have relationship questions for Patti? Leave them below and be sure to check back next week!

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Making a Match: Brooklyn Chooses Sizzle vs. Substance

Patti dishes on what it was like working with Thicker Than Water Brooklyn Tankard and getting a New York player to start take matchmaking seriously.

Season 8 of The Millionaire Matchmaker is one of the most dramatic ever. This time around, Patti Stanger is helping plenty of unlikely clients find love, from RHOA’s Kenya Moore and Sheree Whitfield to rap royalty Romeo Miller.

Each week, we're asking Patti to weigh in on every episode in her exclusive vlog. She'll tackle the good (Brooklyn on French kissing), the bad (Amit’s beard)—and the hilarious (Patti’s New York accent!).

This week, she talks about setting up Thicker Than Water's Brooklyn Tankard and teaching this Long Island divorcee to stop looking for love at the clubs. Check out the latest episode vlog below and watch past episodes here.

Brooklyn Tankard the star of Thicker Than Water is up this week. Brooklyn is pretty funny and exciting, she’s a little bit off though. She’s basically a single mom with a daughter and you know she doesn’t get to meet quality men, she really hasn’t found her equal.

My other client this week is liquor entrepreneur Amit Ram, he’s from Long Island. He’s got this awful f---ing beard on his face. Girls in the clubs like his beard, yeah, yeah in 1959 they do, not in 2015.

For those two we chose to do a Hot Seat Mixer. That means Brooklyn and Amit interview potential dates and if they don’t like someone they can kick them out of the hot seat, but if they like them, they get to stay. So it’s kind of like musical chairs.

Brooklyn goes through a bunch of guys and some of them are really awesome. I personally love Jason, he’s tall, he’s older, he’s been divorced, he has kids, he’s a very solid guy. But Brooklyn’s got her eye on Michael who's a bit younger, really hot, super sexy, has sort of a football player look -- and she can’t take her eyes off of him. Instead of going for the substance she’s going for the sizzle.

Meanwhile, Amit chose a great little petite girl named Daniella, she’s also a gym rat like him, they have a lot in common. He’s taken her on an interesting date, free-running training, you know when run and when you jump and you climb, it’s kind of extreme dating. They’re both pretty bad at it, but they love working out so they have a really great time. Then he takes her to a nice dinner at a classy place, Miceli’s.

I just hope Brooklyn took some of my lessons with her back to Nashville, because she needs a lot of work.

Patti Stanger

Brooklyn had a really nice date with Michael, they went peddle boating. But Michael didn’t ask much about Brooklyn, and this didn’t really work out for her because she likes to be the center of attention. So I don’t think that she chose well. I think it should’ve been Jason, which is the one I wanted her to go out with all along. I just hope she took some of my lessons with her back to Nashville because she needs a lot of work. I bet she'll be back again next time.      

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