Ask Patti: Relationship Maintenance?

Patti answers questions about long distance relationships and popping the big question!

You don't need to be a millionaire to get relationship advice from Patti Stanger! Post your questions below and be sure to check back next week for a response from Patti!

Was it fun to have Sex Toy Dave back?

He’s always interesting and doesn’t disappoint! Come on, he’s everyone’s favorite metrosexual! He’s a pain, but there is a spot in my heart for him – I really do hope he grows up enough to have true love someday.

Why do so many people believe that finding love after 40 is impossible?

Because men in America tend to be ageists and think that women over 40 are no longer valuable. I hate it, I do – but that’s what I see. Have you watched the show?!

It's usually men who only want to date younger women, but are you seeing more and more women who only want to date younger men?

No. Especially because most women who are successful prefer richer men – and those men tend to be older. Yes, there are ‘cougars’ out there – but not as many as people believe there are.

What's your definition of the "Holy Grail?"

The holy grail of men - a CONFIDENT, SEXY HUNTER who truly loves women.

How do you weed out people who aren't truly serious about dating?

If a person is not consistent by checking, calling, texting, etc – they generally tend to not be into you.

How long should someone wait for the "Big Question"? My brother has been with the same girl for almost three years, she moved in with him last June. The rest of the family and their friends are waiting for him to pop the question, but he seems reluctant. How long should his girlfriend wait before she takes matters in her own hands?

First of all you need to run to the bookstore and buy my book Become Your Own Matchmaker. A woman should never give a man more than a year. Never move in with him without a ring (ahem, Rachel). And in my book it will give her the negotiation words to get what she wants!

Hi Patti!
I'm a huge fan of your show and even have your book, which gives so much great insight into how we should be raising the bar as women (both in how we portray ourselves and what we accept in a partner). I had a question about my own relationship. I was dating a guy for a month and it was great. We became such good friends, and progressed the relationship, had the same ideals about family, wanted the same out of life- we couldn't see enough of each other, but he then went to the opposite coast for work for 3 months. He's asked ME to fly out there to see him. He's not offered to pay for the flight, and I know he doesn't make a lot of money, but should I expect him to offer to pay at least for half? What do you think? Thanks for all your great advice!

The relationship is too soon for a guy who makes no money to buy a ticket like that – however, if this guy was serious about you he would figure out a way to come back and see you for at least a weekend. I suggest he chase you – not the other way around.

Hi Patti,
Love the show! I am 29 I have been dating a (25 year old) guy for about a year now, however a month after our initial date, he left for boot camp. I stuck with him through boot and his numerous moves. I have to say I am completely devoted and in love with him, and I want to be in this for the long haul... however, I just want to know, can, and do you think long distance relationships work, and if so, HOW? I NEED TIPS! Right now he is stationed on American soil, however, he is about 800 miles away, and I can only get down there once every 2 months. My friends think I am going on vacation, however, I call my trips "relationship maintenance."

First of all, long distance relationships go faster to seal the deal. But you must give your guy ‘chase space’ in order to miss you especially since he is serving our country and has a lot on his mind. Men in the service tend to marry faster as they often don’t know when they’re going to come home from a mission. The way to keep the relationship alive is through communication. In today’s modern society you can use text and email to keep the love alive as he may not be by a phone.

Hello Patti,
Do you have any plans to do the Matchmaker on the east coast? I would love to help in NYC!?
Just curious,

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Making a Match: Brooklyn Chooses Sizzle vs. Substance

Patti dishes on what it was like working with Thicker Than Water Brooklyn Tankard and getting a New York player to start take matchmaking seriously.

Season 8 of The Millionaire Matchmaker is one of the most dramatic ever. This time around, Patti Stanger is helping plenty of unlikely clients find love, from RHOA’s Kenya Moore and Sheree Whitfield to rap royalty Romeo Miller.

Each week, we're asking Patti to weigh in on every episode in her exclusive vlog. She'll tackle the good (Brooklyn on French kissing), the bad (Amit’s beard)—and the hilarious (Patti’s New York accent!).

This week, she talks about setting up Thicker Than Water's Brooklyn Tankard and teaching this Long Island divorcee to stop looking for love at the clubs. Check out the latest episode vlog below and watch past episodes here.

Brooklyn Tankard the star of Thicker Than Water is up this week. Brooklyn is pretty funny and exciting, she’s a little bit off though. She’s basically a single mom with a daughter and you know she doesn’t get to meet quality men, she really hasn’t found her equal.

My other client this week is liquor entrepreneur Amit Ram, he’s from Long Island. He’s got this awful f---ing beard on his face. Girls in the clubs like his beard, yeah, yeah in 1959 they do, not in 2015.

For those two we chose to do a Hot Seat Mixer. That means Brooklyn and Amit interview potential dates and if they don’t like someone they can kick them out of the hot seat, but if they like them, they get to stay. So it’s kind of like musical chairs.

Brooklyn goes through a bunch of guys and some of them are really awesome. I personally love Jason, he’s tall, he’s older, he’s been divorced, he has kids, he’s a very solid guy. But Brooklyn’s got her eye on Michael who's a bit younger, really hot, super sexy, has sort of a football player look -- and she can’t take her eyes off of him. Instead of going for the substance she’s going for the sizzle.

Meanwhile, Amit chose a great little petite girl named Daniella, she’s also a gym rat like him, they have a lot in common. He’s taken her on an interesting date, free-running training, you know when run and when you jump and you climb, it’s kind of extreme dating. They’re both pretty bad at it, but they love working out so they have a really great time. Then he takes her to a nice dinner at a classy place, Miceli’s.

I just hope Brooklyn took some of my lessons with her back to Nashville, because she needs a lot of work.

Patti Stanger

Brooklyn had a really nice date with Michael, they went peddle boating. But Michael didn’t ask much about Brooklyn, and this didn’t really work out for her because she likes to be the center of attention. So I don’t think that she chose well. I think it should’ve been Jason, which is the one I wanted her to go out with all along. I just hope she took some of my lessons with her back to Nashville because she needs a lot of work. I bet she'll be back again next time.      

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