Equal Treatment is Beautiful

Smike shares his 'Matchmaker' experience!


Amazingly, the day I stopped focusing on becoming monetarily rich, and instead focused my mind on exercising my power to elevate, transform, and help others manifest their potential, is the day I found happiness and purpose. The money followed rapidly. That is the advice I wanted to open with on this blog. It is a powerful truth and one that needs to be shared. Other, much more wildly, successful people like Oprah can be a witness for this approach.

Since the original airdate of my episode, I have been overwhelmed with personal messages on Facebook and my email account as well as with business inquiries at my website, Thanks for all the personal offers (The men – and women, believe it or not - have humbled me with kindness and flirting. I am trying to personally respond to everyone, so hang tight until we connect personally). I am also very grateful for all the offers to my business. I am very excited to begin projects in NYC, Miami, and other parts of the world. So, keep the job/project offers coming. Just to remind you, I am available for public speaking, consulting, and design/renovation projects. If I can mix a little business with my traveling pleasure, we all win, so I am willing to negotiate for a project that challenges me.

The business questions mostly relate to how to become rich, which given the name of the show, makes sense. I am currently putting the final touches on my Leadership book – Transformational Leadership – which contains the secrets to my financial / personal success. The overall message is unlike any other business or leadership philosophy currently available. My advice will both transform your personal finances as well as your relationships and interactions with people in your business world. Suffice it to say, the world rewards intentions. So, be sure your intentions are solid, mutually beneficial, and evolutionary. The goal of all of our interactions, personal and professional, should be growth and catharsis. For the readers who are interested in this approach to personal transformation and enrichment, ask questions and you will get answers. I am expecting a publisher to come into my world soon. Keep an eye out for it!


On to the fun stuff - yes, Chad and I are still hanging out. We spent the night of the original airdate watching the show with friends and then headed out to Hollywood with some of the others guys with whom Patti introduced to me on the show. We have all since become friends and we had a blast dancing until 2 am. Besides Chad, Aaron and David (re-watch the show if you don’t remember them) are wonderful men and I am blessed that Patti facilitated the introduction of these guys into my life. I suppose our interactions over the next few months may provide countless hours of entertainment, at least to all of us. If you were at the club Tuesday night, you probably witnessed Aaron’s repeat of the strip tease – this time, however, the cameras were not on us, so we all got a lot more silly.

Unlike some of the know-it-alls that Patti works with, I have decided to follow Patti’s advice to stay in LA for at least the next four months. Now that I am in LA, Chad and I will have a better chance at maneuvering through obstacles so that we can see if we can continue the connection we discovered on Millionaire Matchmaker. I think Patti’s idea that I am traveling to find something that might just be in my own backyard made some sense. This will allow me to pursue my opportunity with Chad and/or other men who have introduced themselves into my world since the show aired. I am certainly someone that understands the power of connection, so this experience is powerfully interesting. I am open to the development of a relationship with a man with whom I connect on levels beyond just the physical. I am happy to discuss the importance of metaphysical, spiritual and educational connections as they relate to gay men and our relationships. Ask away.

My next trip is road trip with Jane, an amazing lesbian friend of mine. We plan to drive from Denver to NYC. I have done so much world travel lately, that a cross-country American adventure sounds perfect. This land of ours contains all the amazing sights and adventures that I have discovered around the world. I am excited to re-discovered America. If you are on that route, be sure to drop a note so we can grab a cup of coffee, or a drink, as we drive through the heartland of America. I am seeing our adventure as a mixed-gender, butcher version of Thelma and Louise – sans the cliff ending, of course.


Lastly, I am moved and humbled by the outpouring of messages – hundreds of them – that have come my way since Tuesday’s premiere. Dozens of them have been so heartfelt, that I have been moved to tears. My intention in doing the show with Patti – besides the obvious love connection – was to be a witness to the power of intention, faith, reciprocity, and authenticity.

Like so many of the guys who have contacted me, I grew up NOT seeing non-clichéd gay men represented in any medium – TV or print. We were given extreme options to mimic, not the full spectrum of truth and potentiality. Things have changed a bit since I was that afraid, lost fat kid growing up gay in Indiana. But, given the emails I have received, there are still a lot of gay kids that are not seeing well-adjusted gay men and women represented on TV. These people have eloquently shared their stories and appreciation for me doing the show and being who I am. The fact that I can serve as an inspiration to a kid that is where I was so many years ago is beyond wonderful. I am blessed and happy to be that guy. If my story can introduce other LGBT people to the concept that their world, their life can be full, accomplished, and happy, then my intention in doing the show has been served. If you are reading this, believe now that you are worthy of love, success, and happiness (regardless of gender, orientation, color, creed, religion). Hold your head high and concentrate on your dreams. I stand ready to inspire you – if I may be so blessed to do so – so reach out to me.

I applaud Bravo for having the guts to understand that the public is ready to see a fair portrayal of well adjusted, driven, successful, masculine, gay men going on a romantic date via a popular cable program. It’s not a political decision. It’s a human, humane decision. Equal treatment is beautiful and powerful. I so happy that I reached out to Patti, she and Bravo allowed, me – just your average gay guy who simply wants to find someone to love and be loved in return – to represent. I hope it did our community proud.

Let’s keep a conversation going on here…

Making a Match: Brooklyn Chooses Sizzle vs. Substance

Patti dishes on what it was like working with Thicker Than Water Brooklyn Tankard and getting a New York player to start take matchmaking seriously.

Season 8 of The Millionaire Matchmaker is one of the most dramatic ever. This time around, Patti Stanger is helping plenty of unlikely clients find love, from RHOA’s Kenya Moore and Sheree Whitfield to rap royalty Romeo Miller.

Each week, we're asking Patti to weigh in on every episode in her exclusive vlog. She'll tackle the good (Brooklyn on French kissing), the bad (Amit’s beard)—and the hilarious (Patti’s New York accent!).

This week, she talks about setting up Thicker Than Water's Brooklyn Tankard and teaching this Long Island divorcee to stop looking for love at the clubs. Check out the latest episode vlog below and watch past episodes here.

Brooklyn Tankard the star of Thicker Than Water is up this week. Brooklyn is pretty funny and exciting, she’s a little bit off though. She’s basically a single mom with a daughter and you know she doesn’t get to meet quality men, she really hasn’t found her equal.

My other client this week is liquor entrepreneur Amit Ram, he’s from Long Island. He’s got this awful f---ing beard on his face. Girls in the clubs like his beard, yeah, yeah in 1959 they do, not in 2015.

For those two we chose to do a Hot Seat Mixer. That means Brooklyn and Amit interview potential dates and if they don’t like someone they can kick them out of the hot seat, but if they like them, they get to stay. So it’s kind of like musical chairs.

Brooklyn goes through a bunch of guys and some of them are really awesome. I personally love Jason, he’s tall, he’s older, he’s been divorced, he has kids, he’s a very solid guy. But Brooklyn’s got her eye on Michael who's a bit younger, really hot, super sexy, has sort of a football player look -- and she can’t take her eyes off of him. Instead of going for the substance she’s going for the sizzle.

Meanwhile, Amit chose a great little petite girl named Daniella, she’s also a gym rat like him, they have a lot in common. He’s taken her on an interesting date, free-running training, you know when run and when you jump and you climb, it’s kind of extreme dating. They’re both pretty bad at it, but they love working out so they have a really great time. Then he takes her to a nice dinner at a classy place, Miceli’s.

I just hope Brooklyn took some of my lessons with her back to Nashville, because she needs a lot of work.

Patti Stanger

Brooklyn had a really nice date with Michael, they went peddle boating. But Michael didn’t ask much about Brooklyn, and this didn’t really work out for her because she likes to be the center of attention. So I don’t think that she chose well. I think it should’ve been Jason, which is the one I wanted her to go out with all along. I just hope she took some of my lessons with her back to Nashville because she needs a lot of work. I bet she'll be back again next time.      

Read more about: