More Geek Than Chic

Making a Match: Crashing Chilli's Date!

Making a Match: Larry Birkhead & Melyssa Ford

Patti Turns NeNe's Bridesmaids to Brides

A Waste of a Good Mirror

Getting a Nice Guy for Rachel Uchitel

Breaking 'Matchmaker' History

Two Millionaires That Shouldn't Be Single

The Critical Dick Goes Home Alone

A Dorky Doc and a Hopeless Romantic

Carson Kressley, the Millionaire Whisperer

Patti's Vlog: Everyone Gets a Valentine!

Patti's Vlog: Patti's the Love Doctor

Patti's Vlog: Stefan Richter Tried to Date Patti!

A Bashful Beauty and a Not-So-Golden Oldie

A Shallow Old Dog and a Sweet River Rat

What Rosie Wants and a Gay Hugh Hefner

Great Expectations and the Running Man

Courtney Kerr and a Swedish Peacock

Sarcastic Cheban and a 'Man-diego' Bachelor

Sweetheart Swayze and a Virtual Phantom

Patti's Biggest, Most Tempting Mixer Yet

A Red-Hot Night for the Millionaires

Time for Some Spice: The Ginger Mixer!

Gaynor Gets the Girl (So Does Allison!)

Adam Gaynor Wins, Allison Baver Skates By

Patti Says Leave Boss at the Business

Chef K Wins One for the Lesbian Team

Mitch Berger, NFL Peter Pan, Grows Up

Johnny Out Sweets Yigit

Sweet Yigit Gets No Sugar on His Date

Just Robin Being Robin

Bye-Bye Bradley, Hello Kitty

Robin Kassner Gets Serious

The Rules According to Aimee

Matt "The Candy Man" Riviera

Time for Patti to Give Me a Raise

Skeet Shooting is a Bad Date Idea

Let the Man Be the Man on a Date

Irv's Nerve

Patti's Favorite Episode

More Geek Than Chic

Dylan talks about succumbing to peer pressure, making a move on Arielle, and more!


When approached about going on Millionaire Matchmaker, I did what I always do when faced with a difficult decision. I assessed the situation and ran a cost/benefit analysis.

Pros: A unique experience. Introduce my company ( to a new audience. Showcase boyish charm and rugged good looks. Potentially I’ll sharpen my dating skills.

Cons: Experience couldn’t be more out of my comfort zone. Expose a multitude of flaws to a new audience. I’m terrified of Patti. Potentially I’ll be disowned by my family.

Ultimately I threw out my analysis and succumbed to peer pressure. I began to doubt this decision as my LA trip approached, but once I arrived everything moved so quickly that I didn’t have time to worry. The show was surprisingly real – I wasn’t given advice, lines, or makeup – I just showed up and the cameras started rolling. Within thirty minutes Patti had labeled me a geek and instructed me to “dance sexy” with a stranger in moose-themed pajama pants. (To be fair, the wardrobe selection was my own doing). The lesson was awkward, but if the goal was to force me to loosen up and not worry about looking cool, it totally worked.

Then came the mixer. I secretly hoped that the other millionaire would be seventy and creepy so that I’d look good by comparison, but Hillel was a far better partner in crime – it was impossible not to have fun around him. Initially, the conversations felt forced and repetitive, but Patti’s team came to the rescue – they kept things moving and I didn’t even notice Arielle until they pushed her in front of me.


Arielle couldn’t have been a better date – she’s witty, laid-back, and gorgeous. We dined, we danced, and she even surprised me with an impromptu serenade. Before long I faced a crucial decision: should I go for the kiss? Getting denied on national television would be an epic fail, but wimping out would invoke Patti’s wrath. I decided to go for it. Overall I had a blast, and later that night Arielle shared more of her music with me on Box - respect.

We’ve kept in touch and have since rocked a tandem lawnmower (my signature move) on multiple dance floors. I invited Arielle to join my Band Hero crew as a backup singer, but due to creative differences she decided to pursue a solo career instead. She’s doing great and is about to release her first EP – selected works by the very talented Arielle:

As bizarre as the experience was, I learned a few things from it after all. I was pushed to examine my priorities and think about what I want from a relationship. I expanded my comfort zone, and I now feel more confident meeting people in social settings. I even picked up an arsenal of irresistible dance moves. Although I’m still terrified of Patti, I’m amazingly still welcome in my parents’ home. Eat it, cons list.

Despite Patti’s best efforts, I remain way more geek than chic. What’s next? My current goals include taking Box public, winning the little league pennant (as a coach, not a player – that would be equally awesome though), and rocking out with Taylor Swift. For serious Taylor: next time you’re in California, let me know.

Of course, if your business is looking for an easy way to share, collaborate, and manage content online, check out There’s also a free version if you want to take it for a spin first. We’d love to hear your thoughts, so please hit us up with feedback/ideas @boxdotnet.

Please direct all other inquiries to me care of Facebook, username mcgruffdog. Thanks!

Clarifications now that I've seen the show: a) Our band actually has 5 members - album cover here: and b) "doing the lawnmower" is not code for sex. :)

Making a Match: Larry Birkhead & Melyssa Ford

Find out what Patti really thought about sexy Melyssa and shy guy Larry's dates.

This week I got to meet one of the sweetest guys in the world, Larry Birkhead: the boy from Kentucky. There’s just one problem: he hasn’t dated in like a decade. This guy needs practice. I mean, he’s drop dead gorgeous and he can’t do anything. I can send him out into the world and the world of a mixer and a date, but he could botch it. Candace and I will give him some mock dating experience and I will pick his date for him. The first time he’ll meet her will be when they go out for the first time. No chance for him to get nervous, and more importantly, no time for the girl to look him up and see who he is. He can stand on his own two feet and just be himself, not Anna Nicole’s ex.

He can stand on his own two feet and just be himself, not Anna Nicole’s ex.

My other client this week is drop dead gorgeous: Melyssa Ford. She’s the star of Blood Sweat and Heels, she used to be in a bunch of music videos, and she was nicknamed the "Video Vixen". I know it’s hard to turn off the beauty and the booty, so I bring her to doctor Pat Allen. Doctor Pat and I have worked together for years. Doctor Pat told Melyssa that she should be leading with her brain. Melyssa can be sexy no matter what: but can she look for the guy who’s interested in what she has to say, not what she looks like?

So I’m doing something new: I get Candace and David to bring a bunch of good appropriate men and women to the mixer. I just want a handful of guys for Melyssa, and a handful of girls for Larry. I introduce the best ones to Melyssa for her to choose from, and I’ll pick the best girl to set up Larry with on a blind date. Melyssa picks Jay. Jay listened to the conversation, and remembered Melyssa liked bowling and cigars. And he took her on a perfect, fun, get-to-know-you date. Meanwhile, Larry met up with his date at Universal Studios. He had a private tour set up, and he and Michelle met for the first time. They had a blast. She knew who he was, but they got past that and they got to know each other. And he took her for dinner and even got a kiss at the end.

So in the end, I’m so happy that both Larry and Melyssa got to learn something. Larry got to know he can be himself and there’s no need to be shy, and she knows (Melyssa) that there are guys out there who can look past her booty and see the great girl underneath.

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