Ask the Matchmakers

 Our matchmakers talk mom friendly pick up spots and economy blues.

Nov 2, 20100

 

I've been single now for 10 years. I was hurt badly before and subconsciously have made myself unavailable to the point where my life has evolved around my son. I have been out of the dating scene for so long, that I am scared. I don't even know where to meet men now! Any advice for this hard working single mom is greatly appreciated. - Tired of Being...

Dear Tired of Being,

Everyone gets hurt, it's sadly a fact and a part of dating. We have all been through some pretty major and painful relationships to the point that you think, "My God, will I ever be happy again?" My mother always told me when things get difficult, "This too shall pass." You have to learn to heal and recognize the value in yourself as you can't love someone until you love yourself. I too am a mom and know how your child becomes your world, but you can't let it overcome you to the point of shutting out others, especially when looking for love. You need to take the plunge and go out. Don't go to bars and clubs, go to nice restaurants, use internet dating sites, or matching services like ours Millionairesclub123.com. It took me a lot of toads and a lot of heartache before I found my prince Destin, and I know you can too.  -Rachel

Given the abysmal economy, do you think having had a successful, fulfilling career and then suddenly being "downsized" will hurt your chances in the dating game? I am a female in this situation and more focused on my job search at the moment, but I am still seeking Mr. Right in the process. I would willingly date a man who had lost his job, but do men see it the same way -- in that they would be open-minded enough to date a woman who is in the process of rebuilding her career? - CareerGirl

Dear Career Girl,

Yes this economy is in the toilet and has effected just about everyone. The fact that you are pursuing your career is commendable, and no one has the right to look down on you for having "downsized," at least you are picking yourself up and dusting yourself off. As long as a person can make time to date then there should be no issues there.  This goes for both males and females. Men will respect you for having pride in your life and career. Good luck and go get 'em. - Destin

 

12 comments
Mdmemmott
Mdmemmott

Meddling Mom I have a daughter who I think is pretty great :-) She is out going, witty, attractive and has a good head on her shoulders. She is almost 22 and still single. She has never had a boyfriend (yes she is straight) and I just don't understand it. I would think she would be a catch if I were a man. I was wondering if you knew of any dating sites in southern California for moms who want to help in matchmaking. I noticed most of the sites seem to be catered to older professionals.

Cute enough
Cute enough

I have been on a dating site for about three months. How do I get men to notice me? I get very few messages and I cute, not a supermodel but cute and I am a very happy bubbly personality. what am I doing wrong. I read Patty's book, and wanted to hear some thoughts.

YogaChicSLC
YogaChicSLC

Patti,

I know you talk about a girl getting financially stable before dating. How important is this step? I have a job that pays the bills for my uber tiny apartment and car but just barely. I haven't been able to find anything else for over a year. On a side note, I am thinking of becoming a matchmaker in my own community. Is this a career you'd recommend for a single girl that just turned 30? I see the potential for a lucrative business and there's a market for it, but I'm not sure if it would be a good switch since I'm on the hunt myself. Thanks! Ciao and I love the show!

YogaSLC
YogaSLC

I just wanted to say that I am doing the same thing. I thought all of this old fashioned stuff was nonsense a year ago, but I am in love with her book and the best part is that I feel better about myself. I have better boundaries and I'm not doing all of the work in dating anymore.

Karen www.divorcedisnotamaritalstatus.com
Karen www.divorcedisnotamaritalstatus.com

I'm 51 and have been single for almost 14 years. I picked up Patti's book thinking it would be a good laugh-- the laugh's on me. I am currently reading and blogging my results from Patti's advice, 8 Easy Steps to Finding Your Perfect Match. Yes there is the financial challenge but no one is saying you have to tackle it all at once. I put the "self", in self-employed. If it takes me 2 days or two weeks until I can buy some teeth whitening strips, so be it. I worked for a short time in a law office and watched a lot of divorcing men walk past my desk. While the pool of decent ones is very small I believe sticking to your list (read the book) will lead you to the men you haven't been giving a second look.

Susan Wilson
Susan Wilson

why do you always put down a woman with some extra weight? your sending out a message that means women are not worth anything unless they are like anorexic. patty gets real sarcastic and mean about it. you all need to lighten up. everyone is beautiful. but i will have to say the majority of men on the show are superficial. where are the "REAL" people???

WilliamG.
WilliamG.

Just stay open minded to everyone that you meet. Do not let appearances fool you. Eventually the right guy will turn up sooner or later.

If it makes you feel better, I'm 24 years old and I have never dated anyone. I am now just starting to throw myself out there.

new single struggling divorced mom
new single struggling divorced mom

I am 42 still somewhat good looking, divorced after 20 yrs marriage. Having trouble dating. Cant find a man looking for more then a one night stand. your show helps all these people who have six figure incomes. How does a working mom find help like you offer who has less zeros in their income. needs to know love

BitterSweetSarah
BitterSweetSarah

Something has got to give. I need advice (like many on here), I'm searching for "the one". I'm a young (26) year old single mom with a 10 year old son. I'm highly educated and will soon be pursuing my PhD. I'm working in a booming healthcare field and seem to be doing great. The problem is I haven't had a date in 6 years. Even worse I haven't had a decent date in 8 since I was "widowed" (I say it in quotes because technically I was never married just engaged). I'm also the only single person I know. In the last 8 years I have lived in NJ, PA and now Columbus, OH just trying give my self the oportunity to find "the one". It's not working. I've been on every dating site you can possibly think of except the millionaires club for at least the last 6 years. This year I finally said enough. I'm a bigger girl (not grossly big - I carry it well), I've got a pretty face, great personality, and great morals. The problem is I can't find a quality guy. I find the no teeth, high school drop out that can't hello properly, or guys with some type of complex. I don't settle for less but I'm affraid I'll end up alone, which isn't so bad if I didn't want to expand my family in the next few years. So the real question is... How does a girl like me.. who knows exactly what she wants both in a mate and in life.. find her mate when both physical and virtual options are just about spent?

i dont know
i dont know

Loosing hope in finding love. I have the looks, the brain, my head on straight, Im 18, but everyone says i look and act mature for my age. im outgoing, and im full of self respect. It's not that i can't get guys, i can pretty much get any guy acually, its just that it never goes right with the one i think are right. i can solve all my friends relationship situations, but i get confused with my own. I don't understand what im doing wrong?!

Viewer222
Viewer222

I've been in the military for eight years and have now gotten out and moved home to WI. I'm 30 years old and have two college degrees. I'm currently a Chef and love my job. Unfortunately, my job takes up a lot of my time and also my location hinders my dating pool..I've found that a lot of guys are intimidated by me. I'm very blunt..not rude but straight to the point..I also have a lot of tattoos and I guess that's become another factor in why men are intimidated by me. In reality, I'm a 5'3 blonde woman that has a heart of gold but I don't put up with BS..I'm beginning to think I may be alone forever! Everyone I know already has children and is married or has been married..I've done neither so far..waiting for the right person/time I guess...Is there still hope? lol

Ms. Thinking too much
Ms. Thinking too much

I know women & men ask you on your opinions about being single, but I want to get a professional opinion on a relationship from the one's who know about them best. I've been dating the same guy for almost a year now. We were on & off 2 times already. This time is different. We've both decided to be serious and not act so immature like we did in the past. Right when I thought things were getting good again, he got a job offer almost 2 hours away! He's been living away from home now since June. I started feeling a little unsure with how things would turn, so I resolved to a psychic. The psychic told me if I stay with my boyfriend, it will be the biggest mistake of my life. She said he will get into trouble and bring me down with him. She also said that he's going to meet a girl, and probably break up with me by January. I don't usually believe in psychics but I've known this woman for many years now. And their name goes all the way back to women in Salem, many many years ago. I brought it up to him and he was mad but he keeps telling me how much he wants to marry me, and start a family, etc. But how's that going to happen if he's so far away? I've been stressing about this ever since I got my cards read. I currently re-enrolled in school, and I'm majoring in a very serious study. "stenography". If I wanted to move out near him, I would have to transfer schools and everything. Please help me. I don't know if I'm thinking too much into this and worrying over nothing? Or if I'm worrying just the right amount? Sincerely, Ms. Thinking too Much