Oy Vey!

Making a Match: Crashing Chilli's Date!

Making a Match: Larry Birkhead & Melyssa Ford

Patti Turns NeNe's Bridesmaids to Brides

A Waste of a Good Mirror

Getting a Nice Guy for Rachel Uchitel

Breaking 'Matchmaker' History

Two Millionaires That Shouldn't Be Single

The Critical Dick Goes Home Alone

A Dorky Doc and a Hopeless Romantic

Carson Kressley, the Millionaire Whisperer

Patti's Vlog: Everyone Gets a Valentine!

Patti's Vlog: Patti's the Love Doctor

Patti's Vlog: Stefan Richter Tried to Date Patti!

A Bashful Beauty and a Not-So-Golden Oldie

A Shallow Old Dog and a Sweet River Rat

What Rosie Wants and a Gay Hugh Hefner

Great Expectations and the Running Man

Courtney Kerr and a Swedish Peacock

Sarcastic Cheban and a 'Man-diego' Bachelor

Sweetheart Swayze and a Virtual Phantom

Patti's Biggest, Most Tempting Mixer Yet

A Red-Hot Night for the Millionaires

Time for Some Spice: The Ginger Mixer!

Gaynor Gets the Girl (So Does Allison!)

Adam Gaynor Wins, Allison Baver Skates By

Patti Says Leave Boss at the Business

Chef K Wins One for the Lesbian Team

Mitch Berger, NFL Peter Pan, Grows Up

Johnny Out Sweets Yigit

Sweet Yigit Gets No Sugar on His Date

Just Robin Being Robin

Bye-Bye Bradley, Hello Kitty

Robin Kassner Gets Serious

The Rules According to Aimee

Matt "The Candy Man" Riviera

Time for Patti to Give Me a Raise

Skeet Shooting is a Bad Date Idea

Let the Man Be the Man on a Date

Irv's Nerve

Patti's Favorite Episode

Oy Vey!

Matthew explains how things went from bad to worse on his date with Rhett.

The first thing that Patti asked me prior to my appearance on The Millionaire Matchmaker was, "What are you looking for? What qualities do you like and dislike?" I said that I like guys who are younger, late 20's or 30's, who have a bit of an edge. People with their own sense of style are good; no popped collars and Dockers, please. An artistic bent scores points, and an appreciation of irony, dark humor, and the absurd is essential. As for dislikes, I said that drama queens and psychos need not apply and that drug and alcohol issues are unwelcome.

At a mixer held in a chic club, Patti assembled a pool of six candidates from which I would choose one for the big date. She decided to streamline the selection process by scheduling six, ten-minute "mini dates" back-to-back. Being charming for sixty minutes without a break was more exhausting than I would have thought; I hope I pulled it off.

None of the guys was a perfect match. Most were understandably nervous and therefore didn't say much. As for physical attraction, only one was a home run: Jimmy, the 26-year- old NYU grad student. Unfortunately, he appeared to be petrified and hardly said a word.

So I chose Rhett. He was the most enthusiastic and expressive of the six and our conversation was lively and effortless. As for looks, he wasn't exactly my type, but I didn't find him unattractive.

After Patti announced my selection of Rhett, she asked everyone at the mixer to mingle. Rhett then approached and asked why he had been my first choice. I said that I found him to be the most well-rounded person and the one with the best personality. He informed me that the other candidates and he had wagered that I would choose Jimmy because of his striking good looks. I told him that Jimmy had been my second choice because, while I found him very attractive physically, looks alone are insufficient to sustain a relationship. I said that having someone you can talk to is most important. He seemed happy with my explanation.

Near the end of the mixer, Rhett whispered something to me. I don't remember exactly what he said but it contained a fairly crude sexual reference. Whatever he said struck me as inappropriate yet I immediately excused it, attributing it to first-date jitters. In retrospect, I realize that the remark foreshadowed the drama that was to come.

Our date began with a private cooking lesson with renowned chef Nils Noren. When Nils held up a bowl containing quail eggs, Rhett blurted out, "They look like testicles!" When Nils held up a bottle containing a thick, white, coconut cream sauce, Rhett squealed, "Oh my, did you make all of that yourself?" I remember rolling my eyes at that point as I realized that I was on a date with an adolescent trapped in a 35 year old man's body who, incidentally, had accessorized for our date with a backward-facing baseball cap. 

Before the cooking lesson had ended I knew that romance wasn't in the cards yet I felt that all was not lost. I still believed that friendship was a possibility. Rhett seemed (and still seems) like a friendly, goodhearted person, and infantile friends can be amusing.

I still believe that friendship might have been the outcome of our date but for the excellent wine that Rhett and I had been drinking all evening. As everyone knows, there are good drunks and bad drunks. I don't drink often but friends tell me that, when I do, I'm a very good drunk. I never get nasty or morose when I drink; on the contrary, I become quite happy and sociable. Not so, Rhett.

About halfway through dinner, Rhett's demeanor suddenly changed. As if on cue, his puppy-like exuberance vanished. His voice grew louder, his speech less precise. Most striking, however, was the sudden darkness of his mood. Clearly, he was troubled by the realization that our first date was likely to be our last. He turned nasty.

Soon, Rhett began hurling insults at me. He criticized my haircut and my clothes. He said that I lacked passion. When I tried to comfort him by putting my arm on his shoulder, he reacted violently, shouting "Oh, now you touch me! I've been trying to get you to touch me all night!"

Oy vey! as my grandmother used to say.

Of course, I wasn't the least bit offended by Rhett's tirade. I knew that Jekyll was now Hyde and, as I watched his meltdown, I felt sad that this decent guy who had simply had too much to drink would eventually suffer the humiliation of having to watch this scene along with a few million other people around the world.

Not satisfied with hurling insults, Rhett ended the date with a flourish by hurling the contents of his water glass in my face. I had thought to respond, "Honey, perhaps we should try seeing other people," but instead hastily took my leave. Rhett was too trashed to appreciate the humor and, besides, I knew that the next thing he was likely to hurl in my direction was a slightly used gourmet dinner.

Patti Turns NeNe's Bridesmaids to Brides

Patti thinks it won’t be long before these two are following their friend Nene Leakes’ lead down the aisle.

Read Patti's full transcript after the jump!

OK, greatest week ever. We have my friend NeNe Leakes out here from Atlanta and she brought me the gift that keeps on giving, great women who are looking to be set up! So I’m doing NeNe a favor this week and we’re throwing her two eligible bridesmaids a mixer to top all mixers. These girls are gonna get hooked up, and if they play their cards right, they might end up with a handsome man on their arm.

So let’s get this started. NeNe introduces me to Dawn Robinson and Diana Gowins. Diana is the mothering type. Not just a little bit, she could out-mother Mother Teresa. I get where she’s coming from, she’s an ex-nurse, she’s got three kids, she’s a nurturer. But she’s got a problem: she over-nurtures and that gives the guys the wrong signal, especially when they start dating. A man doesn’t want his date to be a mother until they have some children together. Until then, she’s his hot wife and Diana’s got to lead with the sexy and bring the mothering to the table later. That one’s easy.

Dawn is a little tougher. She’s tall, gorgeous, but also really intellectually smart, and she knows it. She’s got a high finance job, and she doesn’t need a man telling her anything. Well, there’s the problem because a man needs to at least feel like he’s worth something. So Dawn doesn’t need to play dumb, but she also doesn’t need to intimidate the guy or drive over the guy like a competitive tank commander. Alpha women are tough to change, but I can sometimes get them to put away the alpha from time to time to lure a man in. And if Dawn listens to me and tries not to compete with the guy right out of the gate, she’ll be happy she did because the guys will come to her like bees to honey.

So NeNe and I have our work cut out for us this week and we set up a recruiting so NeNe could help me pick out fine gentlemen for her friends. It was a really good idea. She knows what they like, but she’s also honest and knows what they tend to do, and what men aren’t right for them.

NeNe helped us pick the right men, and I think it was worth it because we had a great mixer. The mixer was a classy affair at The Mark and everybody had a great time. The men were respectful but they also were having fun. NeNe and I kept an eye on things, making sure Diana didn’t try to mother anybody out of the door and that Dawn kept her man eating claws inside.  Both girls did great, and by the end each had chosen a great guy, Dawn had Isaac eating out of the palm of her hand and Diana had Dante right where she wanted him staring right back at her.

And because these two are best friends, we decided to let them have a little back up. They all went out together on a double date. The guys were told to plan the date, and Isaac and Dante did great. They got Louis Van Amstel from Dancing With The Stars to give them salsa dancing lessons and then they also had a romantic rooftop winter wonderland dinner where they actually made it snow. Which in L.A. is kind of amazing.

At the end of the week, I think both girls had a really great time. Time will tell, but I think it won’t be long before these two are following their friend Nene’s lead and dancing down their own aisles. And they’ll just have me and NeNe to thank. Well, you’re welcome girls. 

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