The Millionaires

Matthew explains how things went from bad to worse on his date with Rhett.

Dec 29, 2010

After Patti announced my selection of Rhett, she asked everyone at the mixer to mingle. Rhett then approached and asked why he had been my first choice. I said that I found him to be the most well-rounded person and the one
with the best personality. He informed me that the other candidates and he had wagered that I would choose Jimmy because of his striking good looks. I told him that Jimmy had been my second choice because, while I found him very attractive physically, looks alone are insufficient to sustain a relationship. I said that having someone you can talk to is most important. He seemed happy with my explanation.

Near the end of the mixer, Rhett whispered something to me. I don't remember exactly what he said but it contained a fairly crude sexual reference. Whatever he said struck me as
inappropriate yet I immediately excused it, attributing it to first-date jitters. In retrospect, I realize that the remark foreshadowed the drama that was to come.

Our date began with a private cooking lesson with renowned chef Nils Noren. When Nils held up a bowl containing quail eggs, Rhett blurted out, "They look like testicles!" When Nils held up a bottle containing a thick, white, coconut cream sauce, Rhett squealed, "Oh my, did you make all of that yourself?" I remember rolling my eyes at that point as I realized that I was on a date with an adolescent trapped in a 35 year old man's body who, incidentally, had accessorized for our date with a backward-facing
baseball cap. 

Before the cooking lesson had ended I knew that romance wasn't in the cards yet I felt that all was not lost. I still believed that friendship was a possibility. Rhett seemed (and still seems) like a friendly, goodhearted person, and infantile friends can be amusing.

I still believe that friendship might have been the outcome of our date but for the excellent wine that Rhett and I had been drinking all evening. As everyone knows, there are good drunks and bad drunks. I don't drink often but friends tell me that, when I do, I'm a very good drunk. I never get nasty or morose when I drink; on the contrary, I become quite happy and sociable. Not
so, Rhett.