Cast Blog: #MATCHMAKER

Bird Flu

Making a Match: Patti Melts and Bravo Reunions

Making a Match: Speidi, Bad Guys & Playboy

Making a Match: The Real Perez and Sexy Sonja

Making a Match: Making Jill (and Ally) Happy

Making a Match: Crashing Chilli's Date!

Making a Match: Larry Birkhead & Melyssa Ford

Patti Turns NeNe's Bridesmaids to Brides

A Waste of a Good Mirror

Getting a Nice Guy for Rachel Uchitel

Breaking 'Matchmaker' History

Two Millionaires That Shouldn't Be Single

The Critical Dick Goes Home Alone

A Dorky Doc and a Hopeless Romantic

Carson Kressley, the Millionaire Whisperer

Patti's Vlog: Everyone Gets a Valentine!

Patti's Vlog: Patti's the Love Doctor

Patti's Vlog: Stefan Richter Tried to Date Patti!

A Bashful Beauty and a Not-So-Golden Oldie

A Shallow Old Dog and a Sweet River Rat

What Rosie Wants and a Gay Hugh Hefner

Great Expectations and the Running Man

Courtney Kerr and a Swedish Peacock

Sarcastic Cheban and a 'Man-diego' Bachelor

Sweetheart Swayze and a Virtual Phantom

Patti's Biggest, Most Tempting Mixer Yet

A Red-Hot Night for the Millionaires

Time for Some Spice: The Ginger Mixer!

Gaynor Gets the Girl (So Does Allison!)

Adam Gaynor Wins, Allison Baver Skates By

Patti Says Leave Boss at the Business

Chef K Wins One for the Lesbian Team

Mitch Berger, NFL Peter Pan, Grows Up

Johnny Out Sweets Yigit

Sweet Yigit Gets No Sugar on His Date

Just Robin Being Robin

Bye-Bye Bradley, Hello Kitty

Robin Kassner Gets Serious

The Rules According to Aimee

Matt "The Candy Man" Riviera

Time for Patti to Give Me a Raise

Bird Flu

Episode 10: Bravotv.com's Associate Editor debates sex appeal of dating birds, Dougie-ing, and the 5-second flirt.

Hello Matchmaker fans!

It feels like it's been eons, and in a way it has. But here we are on Tuesdays now, which is really great because I like to go on dates on Thursdays, and this way I can use my Patti pearls then. Just to give you some insight into my personal life, about which you probably care very little.

Anyway let's talk about what's important here -- Ms. Stanger and the young men she helped this week.

Don't: Cry in your soup
When Patti sat down to discuss social media with her expert she made mention of girls "crying into [their] soup," and just the thought of that really disturbed me. Ladies, if you're going to cry don't do it into a soup. That's just super sad. I mean I guess it's better than crying on crackers, but Jeez Louise, is that a pathetic thought. Perk up women of the world. There's a man right around the corner.

Do: Give romance-novel kisses to Jenny McCarthy -- if the opportunity presents itself
Patti's first young client is Bill, an Eric Stoltz-style gingy looking to find love away from the computer screen. In the land of Palo Alto, there hasn't been a girl to help him get out from behind the desk and onto the playing field, so Patti decides to test his game -- with Singled Out alum Jenny McCarthy. Jenny is a perfect fit because she loves nerds (Jim Carrey also has a touch of ginger about him, just to drive this point home). And so, Patti throws young Bill right to the wolf.

He did amazing, complimenting her eyes/boobs, and talking enough about kisses to make Patti "wet" (her words). Here's hoping he does that phenomenally at the mixer.

Do: Wear a bra
As Patti showed one possible dater, there is always cleavage there. Sometimes you just have work harder to showcase it.

Do: talk about pop culture, but don't "Dougie"
As Bill so unfortunately, proved, this is not the optimal mating dance. I do hope Patti downloaded the track after the mixer though. No one should live a life without this song. It's a jam.

Do: 5 second flirt
Learn a lesson from Jenny McCarthy –- break the gaze. Don't just stare fellas. It's uber creepy.

Don't: peck
As Patti mentioned to Bill, pecking is for birds. And after a day of losing carnival games to Tracy, Bill should have gone a bit bigger on the Ferris Wheel. Winning at the Strong Man game isn't enough to prove that you'e no dork. As Patti said, "You're not allowed to peck any more. Pecks are for birds. Nobody wants to marry a bird." You're not exactly giving them the kiss that kills, unless you have the bird flu.

Don't: Make girls workout on a date!
Hot yoga? Hot yoga!?! If you can say, "you're going to schvitz a little bit," the task is too strenuous. When will you learn men of America? Let the ladies look nice out of the gate. Then get more active as things progress. Jen hung in there though, and by the time these kids went to dinner, she had cleaned the downward dog sweat off of her and was ready for Sky's more evening appropriate questions and hanging out. Granted he still asked her out via text, but baby steps. C minus is still a passing grade.

Next week, Patti meets her match, in drag queen form. This is bound to be a delight.

Making a Match: Speidi, Bad Guys & Playboy

Patti talks working with Speidi to break Stephanie Pratt of her bad boy habit and setting up former Playmate Kari Whitman.

Season 8 of The Millionaire Matchmaker is one of the most dramatic ever. This time around, Patti Stanger is helping plenty of unlikely clients find love, from Perez Hilton and 'Chili' Thomas to Real Miami Housewife Marysol Patton.

Each week, we're asking Patti to weigh in on every episode in her exclusive vlog. She'll tackle the good (a real-life 'Ghost' moment), the bad (boys in Stephanie Pratt's case)—and the hilarious (a man pole dancing for Speidi!). 

This week, she talks about setting up Stephanie Pratt, Playboy Bunnny Kari Whitman and more. Check out the latest episode vlog below and watch past episodes here.

So this week I have Stephanie Pratt, Spencer Pratt's sister! She is drop dead smokin' gorgeous. The problem is she dates bad boys. Bad boys who have no bank accounts. Bad boys who won't even take her to dinner! So, I decide that Speidi needs to come in and help me with recruiting. I mean I need Spencer. He is the voice of reason. And you know what I notice that Spencer and Heidi are so madly in love. 

I also decided to fix up Kari Whitman this week. She used to be engaged to Don Johnson among many other stars. Kari needs to cleanse bad habits and old habits that were clinging to her exes. Kari needs a little bit of loosening up because she's like a stiff girl. She's got like a stick up her ass. She's all hoity-toity. Like, the botox don't move, neither do the tits. 

She's got like a stick up her ass. She's all hoity-toity. Like, the botox don't move, neither do the tits.

If there's anyone literally who can help Kari detox, it's Tracy Anderson. She's like a mad scientist that can help get your inner balance. Before we meet the guys, Tracy gives us a whole new exercise routine, which by the way I've been using -- and do you see that? That's from Tracy Anderson. Now, we're recruiting for Kari. So these guys come in. They're drop dead gorgeous and they're all dress in workout gear. 
 
So we decide, my team and I, that we're going to do a dinner mixer. Stephanie is leaning toward Trevor the whole time. But we also like Dutch, who's a really great guy. So it's Dutch or Trevor, Dutch or Trevor. We're not sure yet, but those two are in it to win it. Kari totally likes Kevin and Emilio. So I was really, really shocked because Kari chose Emilio. I wasn't sure she was going to go that way. But then Stephanie chose what I wanted, which was Trevor!
Trevor and Stephanie had this amazing dinner at Beach Cafe on the Santa Monica Pier. They won prizes on the pier, they went on the Ferris wheel. And they kissed!
 
Kari met Emilio at the pottery shop where they had a lesson of getting dirty with clay. It was a real Ghost moment, very sexy. They went for oysters and Emilio created a special drink for her and they shared a sexy kiss. That was a really romantic date, by the way.
 
Really proud of my clients this week and as always, they nailed it! These two found love, it was awesome this week. Best week yet!