Cast Blog: #MATCHMAKER

Bird Flu

Episode 10: Bravotv.com's Associate Editor debates sex appeal of dating birds, Dougie-ing, and the 5-second flirt.

Hello Matchmaker fans!

It feels like it's been eons, and in a way it has. But here we are on Tuesdays now, which is really great because I like to go on dates on Thursdays, and this way I can use my Patti pearls then. Just to give you some insight into my personal life, about which you probably care very little.

Anyway let's talk about what's important here -- Ms. Stanger and the young men she helped this week.

Don't: Cry in your soup
When Patti sat down to discuss social media with her expert she made mention of girls "crying into [their] soup," and just the thought of that really disturbed me. Ladies, if you're going to cry don't do it into a soup. That's just super sad. I mean I guess it's better than crying on crackers, but Jeez Louise, is that a pathetic thought. Perk up women of the world. There's a man right around the corner.

Do: Give romance-novel kisses to Jenny McCarthy -- if the opportunity presents itself
Patti's first young client is Bill, an Eric Stoltz-style gingy looking to find love away from the computer screen. In the land of Palo Alto, there hasn't been a girl to help him get out from behind the desk and onto the playing field, so Patti decides to test his game -- with Singled Out alum Jenny McCarthy. Jenny is a perfect fit because she loves nerds (Jim Carrey also has a touch of ginger about him, just to drive this point home). And so, Patti throws young Bill right to the wolf.

He did amazing, complimenting her eyes/boobs, and talking enough about kisses to make Patti "wet" (her words). Here's hoping he does that phenomenally at the mixer.

Do: Wear a bra
As Patti showed one possible dater, there is always cleavage there. Sometimes you just have work harder to showcase it.

Do: talk about pop culture, but don't "Dougie"
As Bill so unfortunately, proved, this is not the optimal mating dance. I do hope Patti downloaded the track after the mixer though. No one should live a life without this song. It's a jam.

Do: 5 second flirt
Learn a lesson from Jenny McCarthy –- break the gaze. Don't just stare fellas. It's uber creepy.

Don't: peck
As Patti mentioned to Bill, pecking is for birds. And after a day of losing carnival games to Tracy, Bill should have gone a bit bigger on the Ferris Wheel. Winning at the Strong Man game isn't enough to prove that you'e no dork. As Patti said, "You're not allowed to peck any more. Pecks are for birds. Nobody wants to marry a bird." You're not exactly giving them the kiss that kills, unless you have the bird flu.

Don't: Make girls workout on a date!
Hot yoga? Hot yoga!?! If you can say, "you're going to schvitz a little bit," the task is too strenuous. When will you learn men of America? Let the ladies look nice out of the gate. Then get more active as things progress. Jen hung in there though, and by the time these kids went to dinner, she had cleaned the downward dog sweat off of her and was ready for Sky's more evening appropriate questions and hanging out. Granted he still asked her out via text, but baby steps. C minus is still a passing grade.

Next week, Patti meets her match, in drag queen form. This is bound to be a delight.

Making a Match: A #Matchmaker First!

Patti never dreamed that her couples counseling for Allison Baver and her man would end up in a Clubhouse proposal! 

Season 8 of The Millionaire Matchmaker is one of the most dramatic ever. This time around, Patti Stanger is helping plenty of unlikely clients find love, from Dina Lohan and Bravo's own Kenya Moore to The Bachelorette's Jesse Kovacs!

Each week, we're asking Patti to weigh in on every episode in her exclusive vlog. She'll tackle the good (a #Matchmaker proposal!), the bad (celeb chef Devin picking the wrong man)—and the surprising (exotic dancing, anyone?). 

This week, she talks about finding the perfect match for Devin Alexander, taking on her first Matchmaker couple Allison Baver and her boyfriend Tommy and more. Check out the latest episode vlog below and watch past episodes here.

This week Olympic Speed Skater Allison Baver came to me with her new boyfriend Tommy that has been together with her for ten months.
What they actually need is a relationship tune-up. That’s one of my rules: never move in without some form of commitment. Allison she is an alpha, she is interrupting Tommy a lot and doesn’t even realize it, and she’s bullying the poor guy.

The last thing that comes up is that he happens to be a former exotic dancer.
My second client this week is Devin Alexander she’s a chef to celebrities and a best-selling cookbook author. She’s a cute girl but she’s dressed in a grandma dress, bustling around her kitchen with a dippy smile on her face, so I have a lot of work to do this week. And lose that Batman Joker smile.

It's mixer day at the Emerson nightclub, Candace helped Devin by picking a sexy dress and she’s looking smoking hot but there is a twist, David brings Allison and Tommy to watch. And I can see it on Allison’s face -- watching the process reminds Allison how hard it is to meet a single guy.
I send them off on a surprise field trip, some love lessons. Meanwhile at the mixer Devin’s choices are narrowed down to three guys. I really like Dan and Aaron, but Devin keeps staring at Todd. Todd is great, but doesn’t really seem into her. I can lead a horse to water but I can’t make it drink. If Todd is a great date so be it, but she doesn’t listen.

When I asked if they were still thinking about marriage in the future, Tommy did something I wasn’t expecting. . .


Back to Allison and Tommy, I set up Allison with a class with a champion pole dancer. So Allison can appreciate the work Tommy used to do.

We sent Tommy to a skating lesson and this time it was Allison’s job to cheer Tommy on and support him.

The love lessons were great, when I asked if they were still thinking about marriage in the future, Tommy did something I wasn’t expecting.

Yes! Chalk one more up for the Matchmaker this week, that’s what I live for and now I have another wedding to dance at. Love it!

 

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