Cast Blog: #MATCHMAKER

Cajuns Make Better Lovers

Making a Match: Crashing Chilli's Date!

Making a Match: Larry Birkhead & Melyssa Ford

Patti Turns NeNe's Bridesmaids to Brides

A Waste of a Good Mirror

Getting a Nice Guy for Rachel Uchitel

Breaking 'Matchmaker' History

Two Millionaires That Shouldn't Be Single

The Critical Dick Goes Home Alone

A Dorky Doc and a Hopeless Romantic

Carson Kressley, the Millionaire Whisperer

Patti's Vlog: Everyone Gets a Valentine!

Patti's Vlog: Patti's the Love Doctor

Patti's Vlog: Stefan Richter Tried to Date Patti!

A Bashful Beauty and a Not-So-Golden Oldie

A Shallow Old Dog and a Sweet River Rat

What Rosie Wants and a Gay Hugh Hefner

Great Expectations and the Running Man

Courtney Kerr and a Swedish Peacock

Sarcastic Cheban and a 'Man-diego' Bachelor

Sweetheart Swayze and a Virtual Phantom

Patti's Biggest, Most Tempting Mixer Yet

A Red-Hot Night for the Millionaires

Time for Some Spice: The Ginger Mixer!

Gaynor Gets the Girl (So Does Allison!)

Adam Gaynor Wins, Allison Baver Skates By

Patti Says Leave Boss at the Business

Chef K Wins One for the Lesbian Team

Mitch Berger, NFL Peter Pan, Grows Up

Johnny Out Sweets Yigit

Sweet Yigit Gets No Sugar on His Date

Just Robin Being Robin

Bye-Bye Bradley, Hello Kitty

Robin Kassner Gets Serious

The Rules According to Aimee

Matt "The Candy Man" Riviera

Time for Patti to Give Me a Raise

Skeet Shooting is a Bad Date Idea

Let the Man Be the Man on a Date

Irv's Nerve

Patti's Favorite Episode

Cajuns Make Better Lovers

Episode 4: Bravotv.com's Associate Editor (and proud Louisianian) shares why Cajuns are great partners and why polo trumps paragliding.

Yes, I'm shamelessly going to promote how phenomenal Southern people are to date -- particularly us Cajun folks. I mean have you met us? We throw parties when people die. New Orleans lets you drink literally anywhere you want (streets, Sundays, etc.). We have the best food in the universe and we school when it comes to parades. We're a jubilant bunch, and who wouldn't want to spend their lives with that?

And now I digress because it wouldn't really be a recap if I didn't.

Do: Follow your own advice

I'm looking at your Ms. Stanger. This week the matchmaker herself was called out on her inability to go and sit at a bar with a book. If she's going to get back out there -- she has to get back out there. Though, doesn't it make you feel great that sometimes it's even hard for Patti to be perfect?

Don't: Go In, In, or In

For Patti's "reformed" playboy William, a full-tilt intervention was needed. Calling his mother from the dinner table was not enough (though it was effectively hilarious). It was time for the big guns -- Pat Allen. And the mission statement that we can all agree on: "Men fall in love with virtue, not vaginas." I agree, but I wonder if somewhere many, many vaginas are offended, crying that no one really loved them after all. Watch Patti's assessment of the alchemy of love again, you owe it to all those unloved vaginas.

Do: Prepare yourself for Patti

Oh honey. Let's all remind ourselves, if we are ever going to present ourselves to Patti that we will enunciate our words, and we should maybe wear our most figure flattering outfit.

 

 

Don't: Count your matches before they're hatched

William, Mr. Sly Fox, was feeling good at the mixer. Chicks were sitting on his lap (and then getting bounced by Patti). He was asking ladies when they lost their virginity.Basically he was pretty cavalier about his chances for love. So when he and Brandon both picked the same lady, he didn't even break a sweat. Of course she was going to love him more than some Southern boy. Unfortunately that was not the case. Sweet Brandon (seriously, super sweet and precious) had Jacqueline hooked from the first moment. And when William started his date on a pretty awful foot (talking about how her career was everything), things were destined for failure. So when both gents asserted that they loved Jaclyn I was ready for an old school duel. Was Patti going ot have them take their paces and then slap gloves? Instead Patti deflected to Jacqueline and she chose Brandon. Then to Lady No 2 for William, also no. And this is an important lesson folks -- don't count your dates before you're ordering your first drnk.

Don't: Bring a lady on a paraglider, or a parachute

Polo because it looks regal? Paragliding into the sunset, just no. Everything I said about being jubilant does not apply to dumb sports-related dates. Let's get active, but this isn't the X-Games. If it's not a sport where you are touching each other, it ain't a date sport.

Next week Million Dollar Hair Listing agent Madison comes by for Patti's assesment. Can he unlazy lion himself? Is that a hair joke?

Making a Match: Larry Birkhead & Melyssa Ford

Find out what Patti really thought about sexy Melyssa and shy guy Larry's dates.

This week I got to meet one of the sweetest guys in the world, Larry Birkhead: the boy from Kentucky. There’s just one problem: he hasn’t dated in like a decade. This guy needs practice. I mean, he’s drop dead gorgeous and he can’t do anything. I can send him out into the world and the world of a mixer and a date, but he could botch it. Candace and I will give him some mock dating experience and I will pick his date for him. The first time he’ll meet her will be when they go out for the first time. No chance for him to get nervous, and more importantly, no time for the girl to look him up and see who he is. He can stand on his own two feet and just be himself, not Anna Nicole’s ex.

He can stand on his own two feet and just be himself, not Anna Nicole’s ex.

My other client this week is drop dead gorgeous: Melyssa Ford. She’s the star of Blood Sweat and Heels, she used to be in a bunch of music videos, and she was nicknamed the "Video Vixen". I know it’s hard to turn off the beauty and the booty, so I bring her to doctor Pat Allen. Doctor Pat and I have worked together for years. Doctor Pat told Melyssa that she should be leading with her brain. Melyssa can be sexy no matter what: but can she look for the guy who’s interested in what she has to say, not what she looks like?

So I’m doing something new: I get Candace and David to bring a bunch of good appropriate men and women to the mixer. I just want a handful of guys for Melyssa, and a handful of girls for Larry. I introduce the best ones to Melyssa for her to choose from, and I’ll pick the best girl to set up Larry with on a blind date. Melyssa picks Jay. Jay listened to the conversation, and remembered Melyssa liked bowling and cigars. And he took her on a perfect, fun, get-to-know-you date. Meanwhile, Larry met up with his date at Universal Studios. He had a private tour set up, and he and Michelle met for the first time. They had a blast. She knew who he was, but they got past that and they got to know each other. And he took her for dinner and even got a kiss at the end.

So in the end, I’m so happy that both Larry and Melyssa got to learn something. Larry got to know he can be himself and there’s no need to be shy, and she knows (Melyssa) that there are guys out there who can look past her booty and see the great girl underneath.

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