Cast Blog: #MATCHMAKER

Chicken of the Motivational Speaker

Making a Match: Beauty, Bikinis and Breaking The Rules

Making a Match: A Bachelor's Bachelor

Making a Match: A #Matchmaker First!

Making a Match: The Matchmaker is Always Right

Making a Match: Patti Melts and Bravo Reunions

Making a Match: Speidi, Bad Guys & Playboy

Making a Match: The Real Perez and Sexy Sonja

Making a Match: Making Jill (and Ally) Happy

Making a Match: Crashing Chilli's Date!

Making a Match: Larry Birkhead & Melyssa Ford

Patti Turns NeNe's Bridesmaids to Brides

A Waste of a Good Mirror

Getting a Nice Guy for Rachel Uchitel

Breaking 'Matchmaker' History

Two Millionaires That Shouldn't Be Single

The Critical Dick Goes Home Alone

A Dorky Doc and a Hopeless Romantic

Carson Kressley, the Millionaire Whisperer

Patti's Vlog: Everyone Gets a Valentine!

Patti's Vlog: Patti's the Love Doctor

Patti's Vlog: Stefan Richter Tried to Date Patti!

A Bashful Beauty and a Not-So-Golden Oldie

A Shallow Old Dog and a Sweet River Rat

What Rosie Wants and a Gay Hugh Hefner

Great Expectations and the Running Man

Courtney Kerr and a Swedish Peacock

Sarcastic Cheban and a 'Man-diego' Bachelor

Sweetheart Swayze and a Virtual Phantom

Patti's Biggest, Most Tempting Mixer Yet

A Red-Hot Night for the Millionaires

Time for Some Spice: The Ginger Mixer!

Gaynor Gets the Girl (So Does Allison!)

Adam Gaynor Wins, Allison Baver Skates By

Patti Says Leave Boss at the Business

Chef K Wins One for the Lesbian Team

Mitch Berger, NFL Peter Pan, Grows Up

Johnny Out Sweets Yigit

Sweet Yigit Gets No Sugar on His Date

Just Robin Being Robin

Bye-Bye Bradley, Hello Kitty

Chicken of the Motivational Speaker

Episode 7: Bravotv.com's Associate Editor will not let a man touch her feet or hypnotize her for true love.

First of all -- you people love Kelly! Me too. He seem adorable. Patti mentioned in her vlog that she's going to fix him up with a friend of hers, so hopefully that goes well. He deserves it after that horrid strip show.

Now on to this week's foot massage, or the thing that's grossed me out the most in Matchmaker history.

Do: Get into a monogramous relationship, the blow jobs are better.

I'm not sure how the men across the world will react to Patti's belief in better blowies through monogamy, but if Patti says so it's probably true.

Don't: Believe that hypnotism will solve your love life, but dealing with your issues will

Steve G.Jones is a familiar face in the Matchmaker kingdom. You’ve seen him hypnotizing the wayward Millionaires previously. While this has worked wonders to help folks see the errors of their ways, his hypnotism has not resulted in him getting a girlfriend. I think that makes him an upstanding gentleman, since he's not just haphazardly attempting to mentally confuse women into loving him. But, what will help him find a woman?

According to Patti -- it's healing his past wounds. See when Steve divorced his first wife, he also, essentially divorced his children. Patti goes deep and explains that she was the child in a similar situation, and that the emotions tied up in losing his daughter are contributing to his relationship stalemate here. Steve seems game to try to track her down (and according to his blog this week, he has found her), so kudos to Patti for not only making a love match, but matching a family back together this week.

Do: Make up imaginary twins, write your date a poem, and give her a pedicure

Meet Gary. Gary’s a motivational speaker, and here’s what motivates him -- ladies with big boobs that love Jesus. Patti’s got a man of God looking for his very own Jessica Simpso-type. His list of non-negotiables is pretty long and extremely specific (5 year age window, will produce curly blonde haired twins). Patti of course has thoughts about them and asks him to, mayhaps lighten up a bit.

How does this work out? Well once we make it to the mixer, Gary has about a thousand questions for each lady. But the most quandries for Jennifer, the Jessica Simpson Lite who arrives wearing a very Irresistible-era dress. My personal favorite question, “What can you offer me?” How does one even being to answer that question? I can offer you the time of your life Patrick Swayze-style? I have a Netflix account? I’m short so I can reach things that are down low?

Once Jennifer manages to answer the question sufficiently, Gary takes her on what is my vote for most cringe-inducing date of the season (I know it's a close call with Emma's striptease last week). Ladies and gentleman, he takes her to a spa where he does the pampering, right down to running the pedicure so he can massage her ficticiously pregnant feet.

After this catastrophe, he wrote her a weird poem about those imaginary twins. And she loved it! Loved it! I will restrain myself and just say, it takes all kinds people to make the world go around. All kinds of poem-writing people. . .

Next week Patti gets a bit of a break with two nice guys, and no mention of Jessica Simpson in sight. Hoorah!

 

Making a Match: A #Matchmaker First!

Patti never dreamed that her couples counseling for Allison Baver and her man would end up in a Clubhouse proposal! 

Season 8 of The Millionaire Matchmaker is one of the most dramatic ever. This time around, Patti Stanger is helping plenty of unlikely clients find love, from Dina Lohan and Bravo's own Kenya Moore to The Bachelorette's Jesse Kovacs!

Each week, we're asking Patti to weigh in on every episode in her exclusive vlog. She'll tackle the good (a #Matchmaker proposal!), the bad (celeb chef Devin picking the wrong man)—and the surprising (exotic dancing, anyone?). 

This week, she talks about finding the perfect match for Devin Alexander, taking on her first Matchmaker couple Allison Baver and her boyfriend Tommy and more. Check out the latest episode vlog below and watch past episodes here.

This week Olympic Speed Skater Allison Baver came to me with her new boyfriend Tommy that has been together with her for ten months.
What they actually need is a relationship tune-up. That’s one of my rules: never move in without some form of commitment. Allison she is an alpha, she is interrupting Tommy a lot and doesn’t even realize it, and she’s bullying the poor guy.

The last thing that comes up is that he happens to be a former exotic dancer.
My second client this week is Devin Alexander she’s a chef to celebrities and a best-selling cookbook author. She’s a cute girl but she’s dressed in a grandma dress, bustling around her kitchen with a dippy smile on her face, so I have a lot of work to do this week. And lose that Batman Joker smile.

It's mixer day at the Emerson nightclub, Candace helped Devin by picking a sexy dress and she’s looking smoking hot but there is a twist, David brings Allison and Tommy to watch. And I can see it on Allison’s face -- watching the process reminds Allison how hard it is to meet a single guy.
I send them off on a surprise field trip, some love lessons. Meanwhile at the mixer Devin’s choices are narrowed down to three guys. I really like Dan and Aaron, but Devin keeps staring at Todd. Todd is great, but doesn’t really seem into her. I can lead a horse to water but I can’t make it drink. If Todd is a great date so be it, but she doesn’t listen.

When I asked if they were still thinking about marriage in the future, Tommy did something I wasn’t expecting. . .


Back to Allison and Tommy, I set up Allison with a class with a champion pole dancer. So Allison can appreciate the work Tommy used to do.

We sent Tommy to a skating lesson and this time it was Allison’s job to cheer Tommy on and support him.

The love lessons were great, when I asked if they were still thinking about marriage in the future, Tommy did something I wasn’t expecting.

Yes! Chalk one more up for the Matchmaker this week, that’s what I live for and now I have another wedding to dance at. Love it!

 

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