Cast Blog: #MATCHMAKER

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Making a Match: Crashing Chilli's Date!

Making a Match: Larry Birkhead & Melyssa Ford

Patti Turns NeNe's Bridesmaids to Brides

A Waste of a Good Mirror

Getting a Nice Guy for Rachel Uchitel

Breaking 'Matchmaker' History

Two Millionaires That Shouldn't Be Single

The Critical Dick Goes Home Alone

A Dorky Doc and a Hopeless Romantic

Carson Kressley, the Millionaire Whisperer

Patti's Vlog: Everyone Gets a Valentine!

Patti's Vlog: Patti's the Love Doctor

Patti's Vlog: Stefan Richter Tried to Date Patti!

A Bashful Beauty and a Not-So-Golden Oldie

A Shallow Old Dog and a Sweet River Rat

What Rosie Wants and a Gay Hugh Hefner

Great Expectations and the Running Man

Courtney Kerr and a Swedish Peacock

Sarcastic Cheban and a 'Man-diego' Bachelor

Sweetheart Swayze and a Virtual Phantom

Patti's Biggest, Most Tempting Mixer Yet

A Red-Hot Night for the Millionaires

Time for Some Spice: The Ginger Mixer!

Gaynor Gets the Girl (So Does Allison!)

Adam Gaynor Wins, Allison Baver Skates By

Patti Says Leave Boss at the Business

Chef K Wins One for the Lesbian Team

Mitch Berger, NFL Peter Pan, Grows Up

Johnny Out Sweets Yigit

Sweet Yigit Gets No Sugar on His Date

Just Robin Being Robin

Bye-Bye Bradley, Hello Kitty

Robin Kassner Gets Serious

The Rules According to Aimee

Matt "The Candy Man" Riviera

Time for Patti to Give Me a Raise

Skeet Shooting is a Bad Date Idea

Let the Man Be the Man on a Date

Irv's Nerve

Patti's Favorite Episode

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Episode 9: Bravotv.com's Associate Editor ponders the proper way to engage your core and the proper way to order for a lady.

Hello my fellow lovers. Besides the very precious baby toddling around this episode, we had a few other men that perhaps had yet to rise to their full potential. This week Patti took on brothers (for the second time, the Manzos blazed that trail), Abe and Dave -- Christian clothing entrepreneurs. In honor of the boys religious tendencies, my Dos and Don'ts are a little more formal than usual.

Thou Shalt Not: Steal
Not only is Patti dealing with a band of brothers this week – she's dealing with one brother who's spent some time locked among other gentlemen -- in prison. Abe has a bit of a checkered past. . .

 

However, more power to him, he's Shawshanked his way into a new life, and he seems pretty rehabilitated. One wonders how many handsome men she's sent to the big house in her time though. Most people can only say they sent their exes into a pint of Ben & Jerrys.While Abe was stealing things for his ladies affections, Dave was busy having his heart stolen by his former flame. Apparently his ex-wife cheated on him, and this bruised little brother is having a hard time reentering into the dating world.

This is some Legends of the Fall ish right there. Which brother would you choose? David is kind of adorable, but there is a little bit of a charmer in Abe too. Thank g-d Brad Pitt didn't ride up on a horse or I would have never been able to choose. We shall see who Patti manages to find for both.

Thou Shalt: Temper their love of pink
Didn't we all learn a lesson from Robin that pink is best in moderation? Or in your formative years? If someone can draft a line of questioning about what things you have that are pink, you have too many pink things.

As an adult woman with a tasteful pink bedroom (it's really "blush"), you are giving us all a bad name. Why don't you just carry a Bratz backpack and go full tilt with your obsession? Also, unless you got off the plane from Hawaii mere moments ago, please take that flower out of your hair. There is no one here waiting to see you hula dance.Thou Shalt: Not choose a religion to identify with based on your preschool
As if Pinky the Brain wasn't bad enough, Patti was also forced to deal with this young lady, who had some interesting thoughts about the way people identify with religions. Apparently, your faith is determined by where you went to preschool.

I will give Abe some mondo credit though. Patti tried to slip Annah in as a rogue test, but he didn't fall for it. Though, how hard of a test was it? If he had fallen for it, I would have seriously worried about where he went to preschool.

Thou Shalt: Not go on an exercise date, ever
In the end the boys chose Ayla and Tiffany for their dates. And, since they were brothers, they decided a double date -- at the gym was the way to go. . .

Here's an important message about first dates, from me. Granted I don't know much but I do know this: If your date has to change clothes to do the activity you've planned it's a bad idea. Tell her if she's going to be working out or riding horses or having her portrait painted by Chuck Close. It's not that she doesn't want to do any of those things -- she'll just plan accordingly. Maybe if she knew about the date Tiffany wouldn't have taught multiple gym classes that day. And maybe both ladies could have drummed up exercise outfits that didn't look like something Jennifer Grey left on the floor post Flashdance. Just sayin'.

However, the ladies went with it because they are better ladies than I. In fact, Ayla like really went with it, taking she and Dave's flirty "spotting" to a new level at dinner. She even pulled Patti's "feed your date" trick on him. Those cats are in a precious kind of love, grillin' and making guacamole and talking about the future together. A real win for this week!

Abe and Tiffany on the other hand -- less talking about future menu plans. Maybe it was the single flower surrounded by shrubbery and paper Abe brought her, maybe it was the immediate suggestion of hot tub time, but Abe was not as finessed as one would hope. Granted he's a little rusty, but perhaps someone should have refreshed the man that it's best to save the suggestion of jacuzzi to date three, at least. And that's only if it's for physical therapy purposes. Back to the drawing board for this one.

Next week Jenny McCarthy is there to help folks get Singled Out -- or actually the opposite of that. . . Tell me though, what are your feelings on first date exercise? Leave your workout plan in the comments.

Making a Match: Larry Birkhead & Melyssa Ford

Find out what Patti really thought about sexy Melyssa and shy guy Larry's dates.

This week I got to meet one of the sweetest guys in the world, Larry Birkhead: the boy from Kentucky. There’s just one problem: he hasn’t dated in like a decade. This guy needs practice. I mean, he’s drop dead gorgeous and he can’t do anything. I can send him out into the world and the world of a mixer and a date, but he could botch it. Candace and I will give him some mock dating experience and I will pick his date for him. The first time he’ll meet her will be when they go out for the first time. No chance for him to get nervous, and more importantly, no time for the girl to look him up and see who he is. He can stand on his own two feet and just be himself, not Anna Nicole’s ex.

He can stand on his own two feet and just be himself, not Anna Nicole’s ex.

My other client this week is drop dead gorgeous: Melyssa Ford. She’s the star of Blood Sweat and Heels, she used to be in a bunch of music videos, and she was nicknamed the "Video Vixen". I know it’s hard to turn off the beauty and the booty, so I bring her to doctor Pat Allen. Doctor Pat and I have worked together for years. Doctor Pat told Melyssa that she should be leading with her brain. Melyssa can be sexy no matter what: but can she look for the guy who’s interested in what she has to say, not what she looks like?

So I’m doing something new: I get Candace and David to bring a bunch of good appropriate men and women to the mixer. I just want a handful of guys for Melyssa, and a handful of girls for Larry. I introduce the best ones to Melyssa for her to choose from, and I’ll pick the best girl to set up Larry with on a blind date. Melyssa picks Jay. Jay listened to the conversation, and remembered Melyssa liked bowling and cigars. And he took her on a perfect, fun, get-to-know-you date. Meanwhile, Larry met up with his date at Universal Studios. He had a private tour set up, and he and Michelle met for the first time. They had a blast. She knew who he was, but they got past that and they got to know each other. And he took her for dinner and even got a kiss at the end.

So in the end, I’m so happy that both Larry and Melyssa got to learn something. Larry got to know he can be himself and there’s no need to be shy, and she knows (Melyssa) that there are guys out there who can look past her booty and see the great girl underneath.

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