Cast Blog: #MATCHMAKER

Cruz Control

Making a Match: Patti Melts and Bravo Reunions

Making a Match: Speidi, Bad Guys & Playboy

Making a Match: The Real Perez and Sexy Sonja

Making a Match: Making Jill (and Ally) Happy

Making a Match: Crashing Chilli's Date!

Making a Match: Larry Birkhead & Melyssa Ford

Patti Turns NeNe's Bridesmaids to Brides

A Waste of a Good Mirror

Getting a Nice Guy for Rachel Uchitel

Breaking 'Matchmaker' History

Two Millionaires That Shouldn't Be Single

The Critical Dick Goes Home Alone

A Dorky Doc and a Hopeless Romantic

Carson Kressley, the Millionaire Whisperer

Patti's Vlog: Everyone Gets a Valentine!

Patti's Vlog: Patti's the Love Doctor

Patti's Vlog: Stefan Richter Tried to Date Patti!

A Bashful Beauty and a Not-So-Golden Oldie

A Shallow Old Dog and a Sweet River Rat

What Rosie Wants and a Gay Hugh Hefner

Great Expectations and the Running Man

Courtney Kerr and a Swedish Peacock

Sarcastic Cheban and a 'Man-diego' Bachelor

Sweetheart Swayze and a Virtual Phantom

Patti's Biggest, Most Tempting Mixer Yet

A Red-Hot Night for the Millionaires

Time for Some Spice: The Ginger Mixer!

Gaynor Gets the Girl (So Does Allison!)

Adam Gaynor Wins, Allison Baver Skates By

Patti Says Leave Boss at the Business

Chef K Wins One for the Lesbian Team

Mitch Berger, NFL Peter Pan, Grows Up

Johnny Out Sweets Yigit

Sweet Yigit Gets No Sugar on His Date

Just Robin Being Robin

Bye-Bye Bradley, Hello Kitty

Robin Kassner Gets Serious

The Rules According to Aimee

Matt "The Candy Man" Riviera

Time for Patti to Give Me a Raise

Cruz Control

Episode 9: Bravotv.com's Associate Editor ponders the proper way to engage your core and the proper way to order for a lady.

Hello my fellow lovers. Besides the very precious baby toddling around this episode, we had a few other men that perhaps had yet to rise to their full potential. This week Patti took on brothers (for the second time, the Manzos blazed that trail), Abe and Dave -- Christian clothing entrepreneurs. In honor of the boys religious tendencies, my Dos and Don'ts are a little more formal than usual.

Thou Shalt Not: Steal
Not only is Patti dealing with a band of brothers this week – she's dealing with one brother who's spent some time locked among other gentlemen -- in prison. Abe has a bit of a checkered past. . .

 

However, more power to him, he's Shawshanked his way into a new life, and he seems pretty rehabilitated. One wonders how many handsome men she's sent to the big house in her time though. Most people can only say they sent their exes into a pint of Ben & Jerrys.While Abe was stealing things for his ladies affections, Dave was busy having his heart stolen by his former flame. Apparently his ex-wife cheated on him, and this bruised little brother is having a hard time reentering into the dating world.

This is some Legends of the Fall ish right there. Which brother would you choose? David is kind of adorable, but there is a little bit of a charmer in Abe too. Thank g-d Brad Pitt didn't ride up on a horse or I would have never been able to choose. We shall see who Patti manages to find for both.

Thou Shalt: Temper their love of pink
Didn't we all learn a lesson from Robin that pink is best in moderation? Or in your formative years? If someone can draft a line of questioning about what things you have that are pink, you have too many pink things.

As an adult woman with a tasteful pink bedroom (it's really "blush"), you are giving us all a bad name. Why don't you just carry a Bratz backpack and go full tilt with your obsession? Also, unless you got off the plane from Hawaii mere moments ago, please take that flower out of your hair. There is no one here waiting to see you hula dance.Thou Shalt: Not choose a religion to identify with based on your preschool
As if Pinky the Brain wasn't bad enough, Patti was also forced to deal with this young lady, who had some interesting thoughts about the way people identify with religions. Apparently, your faith is determined by where you went to preschool.

I will give Abe some mondo credit though. Patti tried to slip Annah in as a rogue test, but he didn't fall for it. Though, how hard of a test was it? If he had fallen for it, I would have seriously worried about where he went to preschool.

Thou Shalt: Not go on an exercise date, ever
In the end the boys chose Ayla and Tiffany for their dates. And, since they were brothers, they decided a double date -- at the gym was the way to go. . .

Here's an important message about first dates, from me. Granted I don't know much but I do know this: If your date has to change clothes to do the activity you've planned it's a bad idea. Tell her if she's going to be working out or riding horses or having her portrait painted by Chuck Close. It's not that she doesn't want to do any of those things -- she'll just plan accordingly. Maybe if she knew about the date Tiffany wouldn't have taught multiple gym classes that day. And maybe both ladies could have drummed up exercise outfits that didn't look like something Jennifer Grey left on the floor post Flashdance. Just sayin'.

However, the ladies went with it because they are better ladies than I. In fact, Ayla like really went with it, taking she and Dave's flirty "spotting" to a new level at dinner. She even pulled Patti's "feed your date" trick on him. Those cats are in a precious kind of love, grillin' and making guacamole and talking about the future together. A real win for this week!

Abe and Tiffany on the other hand -- less talking about future menu plans. Maybe it was the single flower surrounded by shrubbery and paper Abe brought her, maybe it was the immediate suggestion of hot tub time, but Abe was not as finessed as one would hope. Granted he's a little rusty, but perhaps someone should have refreshed the man that it's best to save the suggestion of jacuzzi to date three, at least. And that's only if it's for physical therapy purposes. Back to the drawing board for this one.

Next week Jenny McCarthy is there to help folks get Singled Out -- or actually the opposite of that. . . Tell me though, what are your feelings on first date exercise? Leave your workout plan in the comments.

Making a Match: The Real Perez and Sexy Sonja

Patti strips Mario Lavandeira of his Perez Hilton persona and takes Sonja Morgan's love life into her own hands with a secret weapon.

Season 8 of The Millionaire Matchmaker is one of the most dramatic ever. This time around, Patti Stanger is helping plenty of unlikely clients find love, from Larry Birkhead and 'Chili' Thomas to Stephanie Pratt.

Each week, we're asking Patti to weigh in on every episode in her exclusive vlog. She'll tackle the good (crashing Chilli's date), the bad (Sonja's fast-burning match Thomas)—and the hilarious (kicking Jill Zarin out!). This week, she talks about setting up RHONY's own Sonja Morgan, Perez Hilton, and more. Check out the latest episode vlog below and watch past episodes here.

 So this week I’m setting up Perez Hilton. I met Sonja Morgan and she’s from The Real Housewives of New York City. She’s got a high profile divorce from American royalty, aka J.P. Morgan. So Sonja wants a down to earth, really strong guy with money who can travel at a moment’s notice to New York. And Perez wants the ultimate husband. So this is a big deal. And because his reputation is so bad, I gotta find guys who will date him.

 We get down to Sonja’s guys and there’s Thomas and Kent, which end up being the last two guys that I really like. Thomas is super sexy and hot, a little overt, too much wanting to get into her pants. And then there’s Kent who’s so steady, he’s got four kids, he’s really rich, and more importantly, he’s kind of a slow burn -- whereas Thomas is a fast burn. 

 Now, we grab David and we go through the guys for Perez. It’s a blind date. So Perez and his date meet for the first time. I knew this was going to happen, everybody in the gay community, it’s such a small town, and everyong knows eachother. I was like aw, sh--. But, the good thing about it, Perez had a I really good time. I think that after Greg accepted Perez and didn’t make him feel bad about his past, and Perez realized that Greg was a really nice guy, they became friends. It wasn’t a love match, but his confidence soared. I think this was a real learning lesson.

Perez wants the ultimate husband. So this is a big deal. And because his reputation is so bad, I gotta find guys who will date him.

 Sonja chooses Thomas at the mixer and I was kinda bummed because I knew that Thomas was all sex and all talk no action. I had something else up my sleeve. Just to protect myself. So the secret weapon I had was Rocco Dispirito. Rocco Dispirito is a good friend of mine. He just had a new cookbook out and I thought, ‘What a great way to get to know someone if you cook with them!’ So me and Rocco were on a date, and Sonja and Thomas were on a date. And before I knew it, they were flirting and touching and kissing, and I was like, ‘Oh sh--, oh sh--.’ I decided to pull a switch.

 So I pull Kent in and Sonja’s in shock because she didn’t know she was getting two dates and not just one. And of course, Sonja being the flirt and Sagittarius that she is, she just rose to the occasion. Before long, they’re on a date and Thomas is out. It was romance dujour!