Don't Settle

Making a Match: Crashing Chilli's Date!

Making a Match: Larry Birkhead & Melyssa Ford

Patti Turns NeNe's Bridesmaids to Brides

A Waste of a Good Mirror

Getting a Nice Guy for Rachel Uchitel

Breaking 'Matchmaker' History

Two Millionaires That Shouldn't Be Single

The Critical Dick Goes Home Alone

A Dorky Doc and a Hopeless Romantic

Carson Kressley, the Millionaire Whisperer

Patti's Vlog: Everyone Gets a Valentine!

Patti's Vlog: Patti's the Love Doctor

Patti's Vlog: Stefan Richter Tried to Date Patti!

A Bashful Beauty and a Not-So-Golden Oldie

A Shallow Old Dog and a Sweet River Rat

What Rosie Wants and a Gay Hugh Hefner

Great Expectations and the Running Man

Courtney Kerr and a Swedish Peacock

Sarcastic Cheban and a 'Man-diego' Bachelor

Sweetheart Swayze and a Virtual Phantom

Patti's Biggest, Most Tempting Mixer Yet

A Red-Hot Night for the Millionaires

Time for Some Spice: The Ginger Mixer!

Gaynor Gets the Girl (So Does Allison!)

Adam Gaynor Wins, Allison Baver Skates By

Patti Says Leave Boss at the Business

Chef K Wins One for the Lesbian Team

Mitch Berger, NFL Peter Pan, Grows Up

Johnny Out Sweets Yigit

Sweet Yigit Gets No Sugar on His Date

Just Robin Being Robin

Bye-Bye Bradley, Hello Kitty

Robin Kassner Gets Serious

The Rules According to Aimee

Matt "The Candy Man" Riviera

Time for Patti to Give Me a Raise

Skeet Shooting is a Bad Date Idea

Let the Man Be the Man on a Date

Irv's Nerve

Patti's Favorite Episode

Don't Settle

Gary gives us an update on his relationship with Jennifer and tells us why he thinks it's fair to have a long list of traits for his perfect mate.

I recently made an appearance on The Millionaire Matchmaker, and oh, boy. . .what an adventure that was! If you watched the show, then you already know what I'm referring to here.

What a whirlwind of a dating experience. Can you say drama?!? I've watched the show from time to time. In fact, before appearing on the show, I was in the process of interviewing other matchmakers and getting my personal affairs in order to bring someone new into my life. After interviewing a number of matchmakers, I finally made my decision.

So, I chose Patti. Always wondered, though, why do the people on that show don't stand up to her?

Needless to say, we didn't hit if off at all. I work hard to conform to Christian values, and she constantly tried to get me to change some of my beliefs. Are you kidding? So, that was when the drama started.

Of course, Patti had to find what she thought were all my downfalls and flaws. She says I have Narcissistic Perfectionist OCD. Are you for real, Patti? She wants me to chop my list of what I'm looking for in a woman down to five. Hello, Patti, this is my future we’re talking about here.

I might have a list of five things to look for in a car, but certainly not my future wife. I definitely hope that I have more than five things to offer a woman.

Narcissistic people are usually very selfish. I have learned what it means to be humble and am proud of being a servant leader. That's not a trait of narcissistic people. Oh, well.

After the TV show, I was actually inspired to create two new programs on dating. They’re titled, "9 Simple Steps to Being an Amazing Man and Making Any Woman Want You," and, "How to Take All the Fears and Freaks Out of Internet Dating." You can listen to some of them on my website,

Then, Patti thought what I was going to do on my date was, "freaky." OK, ladies: would you be offended if I gave you a French pedicure, massaged your feet, gave you a facial, and wrapped the evening up with some fine dining? Okay, maybe not on the first date.

Well, Jennifer loved it. She felt like a queen! Guys, listen up: ladies are NOT getting this type of attention enough. I think many ladies aren't being treated like queens because they've lowered their standards and are looking in the wrong places. Don't settle! Ever!

While I was in LA after filming the show before traveling off to my next speaking engagement, Jennifer and I went on a few dates. But it wasn't right for either of us. She was a real trooper, though, and lots of fun to hang out with. She even let me take her out to a Jamaican restaurant! I'm from Jamaica, so I thought it would be fun to introduce her to some of our culture. She seemed to really like it.

Now, my reasoning behind using a matchmaker's services is because I travel all the time. It's better if someone else can do the picking for me and narrow it down to good, compatible women. I love delegating so that I can focus on traveling to my events and changing people's lives. Bringing in a matchmaker helps you get through the red tape.

The month after the show, I traveled 20 days out of that month. Doesn't lend much time to dating. That's why I've learned my way around the internet for dating. And, boy, could I share some stories about those experiences, too!

Now, my assistants are dying to take over Patti's job. So, being that it didn't work out with me and Jennifer, my assistants have a new task at hand, and they are all excited. Go figure!

Patti criticized me because I said that the woman that marries me will be coming into my world. If a woman isn't up for that, then we're not going to be good for each other. I think a lot of women would be okay with my world. Getting pampered and massaged by me. Traveling all over the world and changing people's lives. Then some R & R in the Sandals Resorts every month or two. Does it really sound like that bad of a life, Patti? Come on!

She did tell me that my 10-minute meeting with the other girl was like an interview. Okay, I'll give you that, Patti. I do have a tendency to get right to the point, and it sounds like an interview. But here's why: I don't go around having sex with a bunch of women. So, when you're not out looking for sex but looking for your future wife, why waste time? So, I get to the point. Trust me, if my motive was sex, I wouldn't have any questions. Let's just hook up, baby. But, that's not for me.

Oh, and then she tells me there is no such thing as a gorgeous, Godly woman. You're kidding! Now, let's think about this one for a minute. Let's say a woman, who is really gorgeous, finds God. Now what? She's no longer considered gorgeous? See why we didn't hit it off so well. . .

Needless to say, it was a pretty crazy experience. Between the drama, the dating, and the craziness of the whole show, I have to say that the overall experience was alright. Obviously, I'll be letting my assistants and the internet play matchmaker now, but I did end up learning a couple of things.

If you'd like to give me some feedback or want to keep up with all my projects, you can stay in touch with me on Facebook and you can follow me on Twitter.

So, I guess I'll just keep flying my plane, hanging out at Sandals Resorts, traveling from city to city, transforming lives, and looking for my gorgeous, Godly wife. I know you're out there! To your success.

A Waste of a Good Mirror

Patti hopes they master cloning so Justin can date himself, but she's ecstatic Michael let his inner nerd hang out.

Read Patti's full transcript after the jump!

OK. This was a week and a half!

My first client was great. Michael Sartain, an estate manager who lives in Vegas. He’s good looking, rich, polite. What’s wrong with him? Well I meet him and I realize, there really isn’t anything wrong with him. He’s stuck in Vegas, all he does is work. But it’s just not the kind of town where you’re basically going to meet a really nice girl. He goes out  to clubs, he meets club girls. He goes out to casinos, same thing same thing over and over again. This is the kind of guy who’s as comfortable walking down the strip as burying his nose in a science book. He’s really smart.  And nerdy things but he doesn’t think girls want to hear about that. He’s super super sexy science cute. That’s where I come in.


I tell him that the first rule to having a relationship is being yourself. And if you’re a guy who loves physics and astronomy, well you better not date a girl who wants to go out dancing every night. That’s just, stupid! You don’t have to be twins but you have to respect eachother. I told Michael that it was ok to let the inner nerd come out a little bit. And find out if that was acceptable to a girl. And he would have no problem!

On the other side of things, though, I’ve had one of my most annoying clients ever. Justin Ross Lee. J-R-L. The guy that makes narcissism look like a super power. He’s one of those guys that is just so in love with himself. Why don’t they finally master cloning and give him what he wants -- another him. Here’s the thing, with this guy he’s all bullsh--. I know he has money, he’s inherited a bunch form his parents. He’s all into the rich look and being pretentious. And if he doesn’t lose the act, and get real, he will never meet a woman he can be in a relationship with. If he really wants that, he’s so full of shit.

But I can’t say that I’m not going to try. I bring out all the tricks in my book. I ask him to nurture a plant and bring it to the mixer. He brings plastic. I ask him to lose the pretentious douche-wear. Putting on something fun and 70s for a disco mixer! He ignores me, he still wears Piccadilly pants.  I ask him to get real and actually lose his fake attitude, and ask the girls authentic questions, he acts like an asshole! So at some point, there’s not much more I can do to this guy. I can lead the horse to water, but I can't change him if he’s a horses a--.

The 70s disco mixer goes great. We’ve got like 10 disco balls and Michael’s totally into it wearing a huge wig, he’s great. Justin Ross Lee wears a stupid suit and his pocket square -- yuck. He’s getting on my nerves! I try to get him to be himself and he doesn’t f---ing budge. So I’m glad that we picked out a girl with a sense of humor who can take him down a notch. In the end he chooses Ariane and Alex. Two models, shocker, of course. For his mini dates and ends up with Arianne. Good -- shes not gonna put up with his f---ing bullsh--.

On the other side, Michael is letting his nerd hang out. He’s being honest and telling the girls what he loves to do. His science stuff. And you know what? They like him for who he is because he’s being honest about himself and telling them what he’s into. He picks two great girls. Cynthia and Andrea.

Michael takes her to a flight simulator thing where you can pick your own jet fighter and she loves it in the end, they’re shooting each other down like Top Gun and it’s super sexy. But he also brings his romantic side. He has a strong quartet playing for her and then he brings her to a nice romantic dinner where they really talk and get to know each other. And she responds to him. It goes great. That’s what happens when a guy listens to me!

Meanwhile Mr. Pretentious Jacka-- I’m An A--hole With My Pocket Square, gets a big yacht (meaning he has no penis) and he tries to wine and dine young Ariane, who knows he’s full of sh-- the moment he opens his mouth. And just like I suspected- he can’t keep his mouth closed for more than a second before he’s insulting her. He says he looked her up on Google, and she’s not really thirty, and she’s been lying to him. Now I know she’s really 35 -- I have her drivers license. When I screened Arianne, I saw that she was 35 which is on her paperwork -- that’s fine! That’s what I told him I was going to have at the mixer 30 and 35! I don’t really give a shit, because on the paperwork, she fit the bill for him to date. He’s rude to ask and he was a complete dick about it.

So we all know why Justin isn’t leaving my club with a girl on his arm: because Justin is in love with one thing, and that’s not money, that’s not blondes, that’s Justin. And I’m never going to set him up with a girl who’s as ugly as himself -- that’s for sure. The guy’s a waste of a good mirror. 

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