Cast Blog: #MATCHMAKER

Is There A Man That Can Keep Up With Me?

Episode 6: Bravotv.com's Associate Editor lets the world know she doesn't date before 7 am or after a strip show.

Now that Patti is feeling balanced (thanks to Mary Miller's apparently-Lisa Frank designed booster support pack), let's launch into this week's episode, which features a pair of insane millionaires – a controlling plastic surgeon and a wild child dance instructor. Will they find love together? Or at all? Let’s see.

Do: Make your bed – just let the person out of it first
Oh Frank. You are a tough nut to crack. I'm glad you’re an early riser, but jeez louise. 5 am Bed made? Anti In-N-Out burger? Haven't you heard of morning sex? Relax, also never ever sign off like Seacrest. Even Ryan Seacrest can barely pull that off.

Yeah, Patti's going to have a lot of notes for this guy.

Do: Put the penis away, ladies. Behind dark colors.
I had strong feelings for Emma right for the get go. What can I say, an accent and a stripper pole are usually all it takes to pique my curiosity. So by the time she rattled through her marriage history (Vegas, died in a fire, and the contractor that fixed the fire) and got to the meat of the matter ("Is there a man that can keep up with me? I don't know."), I was dying to hear what Patti had to say (besides, “Dear God, woman fix your hair").

It seems the problem isn't her untamed tresses, or her silky pink tops (though, yes, Patti will fix those), it's her aggression. It's girl time! And Patti's here to shaman you into femininity -– with Ann Taylor clothes.

As the glittery extensions fell away and Emma became the realtor of her nightmares, it was clear she wasn't ready to put the penis or the stripper clothes away. In the history of makeover montages, I've never seen the makee(?) so disinterested. For every new outfit there was a swift British "Neither." I think we're aware of how this is going to turn out. Don't: Have a DUI or wear a trenchcoat –- and by G-d take notes
After Patti calls in a second opinion to tell Frank he's cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs it's time for the two-way mirror meet and greet. This is a device I can really get behind. It's like Patti's on Law and Order. If only I could be the Christopher Meloni to her Mariska Hargitay we could solve all the world’s love crimes together.

And perhaps it was the detective-like two way mirror that led Emma to wear a trenchcoat. It is the perfect outfit for intrigue, but as a topper for a taffeta cupcake of a dress that was not Patti-approved, it was a terrible start. (Note: even Frank shook his head in disapproval). But still fun times with the mirror. Frank took notes. Emma made lots of jokes about motor boating and pot smoking. These people failed on all accounts.

At least that girls off the sauce. In the end Patti set Frank up with Natalie, and Emma with Kelly -- promising.

Don’t: Start a date before 7 AM, especially if it includes mixed martial arts
My thoughts about Frank's date can best be summarized in one word: No.

No wonder after Natalie was forced to box for his entertainment, dinner was awkward. She was exhausted! And at one point he complimented her on "taking direction very well." That's no way to fight your stereotype of being controlling friend. All in all, not exactly the ideal date for me, or anyone with their own personality.

Don't: Start a date with a strip show
Ladies and gentleman I present to you, the latest in Matchmaker's long line of cringe inducing moments. Emma gently surprises her date Kelly, with this:

And then the couple had a nice quiet sushi meal and ran away together. Just kidding! Kelly said he'd probably never see her again, and Emma decided she'd leave the club and just go get married to herself.

Not a great week for Patti (she ended by wondering if Frank was going to be "in the nursing home, alone jacking off"). But guess what? She gets to try again on Sunday. That's right, Sunday at 10/9 C Patti will be back and then be with Andy for a whole hour of Watch What Happens Live Clubhouse antics. You aren't even ready.

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Making a Match: Finding Romeo's Juliet

Patti talks working with rap royalty Romeo Miller, aka Lil' Romeo, and helping him master the love game. 

Season 8 of The Millionaire Matchmaker is one of the most dramatic ever. This time around, Patti Stanger is helping plenty of unlikely clients find love, from Perez Hilton and Larry Birkhead to Bravo's own Real Atlanta Housewife Sheree Whitfield!

Each week, we're asking Patti to weigh in on every episode in her exclusive blog. She'll tackle everything from the good (Lil' Romeo's all grown up!), the bad (a shirtless first date?!) and the hilarious (Patti talks using tongue!). 

This week, she talks about finding love for Master P's son and rapper Romeo Miller, teaching us all about first dating kiss etiquette and more. Check out the latest episode vlog below and watch past episodes here.

Okay this week I had a really fun client, 25 year old Romeo Miller. He comes from rap royalty, he’s the son of Mater P. and he was famous as a little kid, you probably remember him as Lil’ Romeo. Well, Lil’ Romi is grown up and is looking for love.

Romeo has got a posse of friends and they all go out together at the clubs and they hid on all these women and I think if I can break him of the friend’s habit then I may be able to help him find a partner. He’s young and he’s got a lot of bad habits.

Lil’ Romi is grown up and is looking for love.

The next thing we do is a figure out a mixer.I sit on one side of him and Shaun sits on the other, and we help him go through various different women. He ends up with two really great women to go out with.

He’s got this nice, intelligent, beautiful woman and he takes her to body painting. Right -- it’s like he just wants to see her in a bikini. She’s a nice girl and she’s into him but he won’t kiss her, and she kisses him. Eh, not a good date.

I meet with Romeo and tell him he’s got to court a girl, woo a girl, not just put himself in a situation where they come to him.

He goes on a second date and this time I think he does a lot better. He takes Mica for a romantic dinner, they have some conversation, and he’s being a gentleman, courting her, doing the right thing.

He comes in to talk to me the next day and he’s learned a lot. He didn’t end up hitting it off with Mica, but I think he finally knows what he wants.

He remembers Taliah the girl that got away, the perfect girl from the mixer. So we call Taliah and she comes down to the office, I see the love connection and I immediately say it’s okay for them to go on a date but I want him to kiss her right away. It’s the perfect date for him.

 

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