Everybody Wins

Making a Match: Crashing Chilli's Date!

Making a Match: Larry Birkhead & Melyssa Ford

Patti Turns NeNe's Bridesmaids to Brides

A Waste of a Good Mirror

Getting a Nice Guy for Rachel Uchitel

Breaking 'Matchmaker' History

Two Millionaires That Shouldn't Be Single

The Critical Dick Goes Home Alone

A Dorky Doc and a Hopeless Romantic

Carson Kressley, the Millionaire Whisperer

Patti's Vlog: Everyone Gets a Valentine!

Patti's Vlog: Patti's the Love Doctor

Patti's Vlog: Stefan Richter Tried to Date Patti!

A Bashful Beauty and a Not-So-Golden Oldie

A Shallow Old Dog and a Sweet River Rat

What Rosie Wants and a Gay Hugh Hefner

Great Expectations and the Running Man

Courtney Kerr and a Swedish Peacock

Sarcastic Cheban and a 'Man-diego' Bachelor

Sweetheart Swayze and a Virtual Phantom

Patti's Biggest, Most Tempting Mixer Yet

A Red-Hot Night for the Millionaires

Time for Some Spice: The Ginger Mixer!

Gaynor Gets the Girl (So Does Allison!)

Adam Gaynor Wins, Allison Baver Skates By

Patti Says Leave Boss at the Business

Chef K Wins One for the Lesbian Team

Mitch Berger, NFL Peter Pan, Grows Up

Johnny Out Sweets Yigit

Sweet Yigit Gets No Sugar on His Date

Just Robin Being Robin

Bye-Bye Bradley, Hello Kitty

Robin Kassner Gets Serious

The Rules According to Aimee

Matt "The Candy Man" Riviera

Time for Patti to Give Me a Raise

Skeet Shooting is a Bad Date Idea

Let the Man Be the Man on a Date

Irv's Nerve

Patti's Favorite Episode

Everybody Wins

Patti explains why she had good feelings about this week's matches, until Ayinde blew it.

Full transcript after the jump

So this week we've got two clients, Ayinde's back for another spin at the wheel. He basically is looking for even more than he did before. He wants the Ivy League, entrepreneurial, girl from a good family, who wants to be his wife tomorrow and have children in two years. Alright, so that's easy right? Not. And then we've got Mitch. Mitch is this great dad who lives in Hermosa Beach, that's in the internet business. He's got three gorgeous little munchkin kids. He is a full-time dad. He always dates the girl that basically takes advantage of him. He's too nice, so he's got no pep in his step. He's got no game.

Now it's recruiting session. I've got a million girls coming through the gates. I've got a Jewish hottie, Natalie Portman-type (which is his dream girl), Tova. And then I've got like six, bombshell, African American princesses with education, entrepreneur background, good families, and Ivy League. I have scored, scored, scored.

Now it's mixer time. Each guy is getting five dates a piece. So instead of doing two mini-dates, each guy gets an actual five minute date with every girl. This is the most relaxing environment. Everybody wins.

Mitch picks Tova this Jewish America little girl princess who lives around the corner in Hermosa Beach. She's a little bit on the young side. She's late 20s. He's in his 40s. I was a little worried about that, but they hit it off. There's chemistry. They're bobbing. They're weaving. We're having the best time ever. I'm like this is the girl that's going to take the cake home. For sure.

Now they're five, all-American, drop-dead gorgeous princesses form all over the country for Ayinde. It's anybody's game at this point. It comes down to Bracha and Monique. He picks Bracha, the prettiest girl at the party none the less, and the one with the most entrepreneurial background. I'm thinking this is a great fit. Everybody wins.

I call Tova up. Tova had the best date ever with Mitch. They already had their second date without even telling me. They're going on their third date. I am like "I have done it. I have done it. My tribe is happy."

Now I've gotta call Bracha and find out about Ayinde. Ayinde is the nicest guy I know. I am thinking nothing could have possibly gone wrong -- until he lead with his 21, obnoxious, invasive questions. As though he's the deal and you're just trying out for a job interview. I was mortified.

He discounts her immediately -- forgetting that he's sexually attracted. But why does he discount her? Because she's got extensions and makeup on. And that is the reason you're not attracted?

He comes into my office, he gives me attitude, he tells me I'm a terrible matchmaker. I basically throw him out of my house. Who's delusional here? Who needs the shrink here?

Making a Match: Larry Birkhead & Melyssa Ford

Find out what Patti really thought about sexy Melyssa and shy guy Larry's dates.

This week I got to meet one of the sweetest guys in the world, Larry Birkhead: the boy from Kentucky. There’s just one problem: he hasn’t dated in like a decade. This guy needs practice. I mean, he’s drop dead gorgeous and he can’t do anything. I can send him out into the world and the world of a mixer and a date, but he could botch it. Candace and I will give him some mock dating experience and I will pick his date for him. The first time he’ll meet her will be when they go out for the first time. No chance for him to get nervous, and more importantly, no time for the girl to look him up and see who he is. He can stand on his own two feet and just be himself, not Anna Nicole’s ex.

He can stand on his own two feet and just be himself, not Anna Nicole’s ex.

My other client this week is drop dead gorgeous: Melyssa Ford. She’s the star of Blood Sweat and Heels, she used to be in a bunch of music videos, and she was nicknamed the "Video Vixen". I know it’s hard to turn off the beauty and the booty, so I bring her to doctor Pat Allen. Doctor Pat and I have worked together for years. Doctor Pat told Melyssa that she should be leading with her brain. Melyssa can be sexy no matter what: but can she look for the guy who’s interested in what she has to say, not what she looks like?

So I’m doing something new: I get Candace and David to bring a bunch of good appropriate men and women to the mixer. I just want a handful of guys for Melyssa, and a handful of girls for Larry. I introduce the best ones to Melyssa for her to choose from, and I’ll pick the best girl to set up Larry with on a blind date. Melyssa picks Jay. Jay listened to the conversation, and remembered Melyssa liked bowling and cigars. And he took her on a perfect, fun, get-to-know-you date. Meanwhile, Larry met up with his date at Universal Studios. He had a private tour set up, and he and Michelle met for the first time. They had a blast. She knew who he was, but they got past that and they got to know each other. And he took her for dinner and even got a kiss at the end.

So in the end, I’m so happy that both Larry and Melyssa got to learn something. Larry got to know he can be himself and there’s no need to be shy, and she knows (Melyssa) that there are guys out there who can look past her booty and see the great girl underneath.

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