Cast Blog: #MATCHMAKER

Hot and Handsome

Making a Match: Crashing Chilli's Date!

Making a Match: Larry Birkhead & Melyssa Ford

Patti Turns NeNe's Bridesmaids to Brides

A Waste of a Good Mirror

Getting a Nice Guy for Rachel Uchitel

Breaking 'Matchmaker' History

Two Millionaires That Shouldn't Be Single

The Critical Dick Goes Home Alone

A Dorky Doc and a Hopeless Romantic

Carson Kressley, the Millionaire Whisperer

Patti's Vlog: Everyone Gets a Valentine!

Patti's Vlog: Patti's the Love Doctor

Patti's Vlog: Stefan Richter Tried to Date Patti!

A Bashful Beauty and a Not-So-Golden Oldie

A Shallow Old Dog and a Sweet River Rat

What Rosie Wants and a Gay Hugh Hefner

Great Expectations and the Running Man

Courtney Kerr and a Swedish Peacock

Sarcastic Cheban and a 'Man-diego' Bachelor

Sweetheart Swayze and a Virtual Phantom

Patti's Biggest, Most Tempting Mixer Yet

A Red-Hot Night for the Millionaires

Time for Some Spice: The Ginger Mixer!

Gaynor Gets the Girl (So Does Allison!)

Adam Gaynor Wins, Allison Baver Skates By

Patti Says Leave Boss at the Business

Chef K Wins One for the Lesbian Team

Mitch Berger, NFL Peter Pan, Grows Up

Johnny Out Sweets Yigit

Sweet Yigit Gets No Sugar on His Date

Just Robin Being Robin

Bye-Bye Bradley, Hello Kitty

Robin Kassner Gets Serious

The Rules According to Aimee

Matt "The Candy Man" Riviera

Time for Patti to Give Me a Raise

Skeet Shooting is a Bad Date Idea

Let the Man Be the Man on a Date

Irv's Nerve

Patti's Favorite Episode

Hot and Handsome

Patti discusses her first bachelors back in Los Angeles and how things flowed from the get-go.

Full transcript after the jump.


So it's my first week back in LA and I’ve got two great guys. First I've got Gary. He followed me home form NY, from Long Island. And then I've got Michael by way of Dubai. Hot and handsome, both these guys are.

Michael is the tester. Always the tester. The girl, he doesn't know if she does something that he likes or doesn't like. He's got to test, test, test. The last girl he had was a little bit of an exhibitionist. He doesn't want a girl that takes off her clothes. Then you've got Gary. I don't know who Gary is. Gary 1 is on the DVD. Gary 2 is at the mixer. Gary 3 is on the date. I don't know who Gary is. Gary's schizophrenic. He’s Cybill. So I'm going to see which Gary comes out.

Now it’s the mixer. We’re at the mixer. The girls are flowing. LA's got the hottest girls in the universe. And Michael picks Tammy. She was the perfect fit from the moment she walked on the carpet to meet me. I was like this is the one. He picked the right one. Then Gary picked Bonnie. And Bonnie was totally perfect from him, you know. He was sexually attracted to her from day one. That's all it was for him. The penis does the picking.

OK date time. They both go on date time. They both have fabulous dates. But Michael's still testing. He made Tammy go out with a photographer. Shoot this little spread as though she was shooting the cover of a magazine. He had clothes waiting. Makeup waiting. It was a little creepy. Downtown in a warehouse. And then. . . she went with it, and she fell in love with him in the process.

Real Good Gary comes out on the date. He rents a boat. He takes her for food. It's champagne. Before the weekend is over he's seen her three times. They're madly in love.

And we're two for two for this week. We have two major matches. I'm back in LA. I'm back in my hometown. And everything is flowing.