Hot and Handsome

Full transcript after the jump.

So it's my first week back in LA and I’ve got two great guys. First I've got Gary. He followed me home form NY, from Long Island. And then I've got Michael by way of Dubai. Hot and handsome, both these guys are.

Michael is the tester. Always the tester. The girl, he doesn't know if she does something that he likes or doesn't like. He's got to test, test, test. The last girl he had was a little bit of an exhibitionist. He doesn't want a girl that takes off her clothes. Then you've got Gary. I don't know who Gary is. Gary 1 is on the DVD. Gary 2 is at the mixer. Gary 3 is on the date. I don't know who Gary is. Gary's schizophrenic. He’s Cybill. So I'm going to see which Gary comes out.

Now it’s the mixer. We’re at the mixer. The girls are flowing. LA's got the hottest girls in the universe. And Michael picks Tammy. She was the perfect fit from the moment she walked on the carpet to meet me. I was like this is the one. He picked the right one. Then Gary picked Bonnie. And Bonnie was totally perfect from him, you know. He was sexually attracted to her from day one. That's all it was for him. The penis does the picking.

OK date time. They both go on date time. They both have fabulous dates. But Michael's still testing. He made Tammy go out with a photographer. Shoot this little spread as though she was shooting the cover of a magazine. He had clothes waiting. Makeup waiting. It was a little creepy. Downtown in a warehouse. And then. . . she went with it, and she fell in love with him in the process.

Real Good Gary comes out on the date. He rents a boat. He takes her for food. It's champagne. Before the weekend is over he's seen her three times. They're madly in love.

And we're two for two for this week. We have two major matches. I'm back in LA. I'm back in my hometown. And everything is flowing.