Sticks in the Mud

Making a Match: Crashing Chilli's Date!

Making a Match: Larry Birkhead & Melyssa Ford

Patti Turns NeNe's Bridesmaids to Brides

A Waste of a Good Mirror

Getting a Nice Guy for Rachel Uchitel

Breaking 'Matchmaker' History

Two Millionaires That Shouldn't Be Single

The Critical Dick Goes Home Alone

A Dorky Doc and a Hopeless Romantic

Carson Kressley, the Millionaire Whisperer

Patti's Vlog: Everyone Gets a Valentine!

Patti's Vlog: Patti's the Love Doctor

Patti's Vlog: Stefan Richter Tried to Date Patti!

A Bashful Beauty and a Not-So-Golden Oldie

A Shallow Old Dog and a Sweet River Rat

What Rosie Wants and a Gay Hugh Hefner

Great Expectations and the Running Man

Courtney Kerr and a Swedish Peacock

Sarcastic Cheban and a 'Man-diego' Bachelor

Sweetheart Swayze and a Virtual Phantom

Patti's Biggest, Most Tempting Mixer Yet

A Red-Hot Night for the Millionaires

Time for Some Spice: The Ginger Mixer!

Gaynor Gets the Girl (So Does Allison!)

Adam Gaynor Wins, Allison Baver Skates By

Patti Says Leave Boss at the Business

Chef K Wins One for the Lesbian Team

Mitch Berger, NFL Peter Pan, Grows Up

Johnny Out Sweets Yigit

Sweet Yigit Gets No Sugar on His Date

Just Robin Being Robin

Bye-Bye Bradley, Hello Kitty

Robin Kassner Gets Serious

The Rules According to Aimee

Matt "The Candy Man" Riviera

Time for Patti to Give Me a Raise

Skeet Shooting is a Bad Date Idea

Let the Man Be the Man on a Date

Irv's Nerve

Patti's Favorite Episode

Sticks in the Mud

Patti shares her thoughts on Frank's surprisingly conservative ways and Jason's lack of a personality.

Full transcript after the jump

This week is a great week. We've got Frank Marino, who is the fabulous drag queen from Vegas. He has the DIVA-licious show. I’ve always wanted to go. And I get to meet him at Drag Queen Bingo. So I show up at Hamburger Mary's and there's all these drag queens, and I'm like shocked, because I can't imagine what he's going to be like after seeing all of this. But he comes out pretty conservative. Very short. As though Liza Minnelli and Cher had a baby -- there he was. Long dark hair, he could be my twin brother. It was really weird. He's looking for a guy that he could spend the rest of his life with. And I think now he needs a guy that looks up to him, but in the same respect doesn't need his money.

Then we have Jason Bross. Now Jason Bross is one of these good looking, cusp of metrosexual types, very Ryan Seacrest, very good looking guy, which happens to be Frank's celebrity crush which was kind of odd. Jason flew from Pennsylvania, and he's looking for his wife. There's just one problem -- he doesn't really have a personality. He's kinda quiet, very dim, very introverted. I've gotta pull out the stop to get the person to unleash the soul that's within. And he likes really hot girls. Since Jason was wound too tight, I asked Rachel to do something for me, take him to one of our experts. She took him to one of our dance instructors who tried to loosen him up, do a little improv. I don't know if it's going to work, but he tried. Let's give him that.

Now the mixer: We have fabulous guys for Frank and fabulous girls for Jason. But I could see Frank eying Jason from across the room. And there was some kind of connection going on there, it was a little weird. I was a little worried about that. We bring them in, they all get to have meet and greets. And they also got their little mini-matches. And low and behold, after all these great guys that I pick for Frank he picks the pocket gay, Paul. OK. Alright. What am I going to do about it? I can't stop love from happening.

And Jason picks Allison, who was my hottest girl. She had been at my previous mixers. She was really a stone cold fox, a Megan Fox type. That was typical. I would have liked him to pick another girl -- her friend the snowboarder. But nonetheless, he picked the stick in the mud, who was like really good looking. Again he was going for the superficiality instead of what's under the hood of the car

I prayed these dates would go well. Frank took Paul to Vegas, to his hometown to zip line. And it was fabulous they had a great time. There was just one little problem -- Paul got a little too drunk -- almost hammered if you will, which was not a good thing. It showed his age and his adolescence, and Frank is much older and much wiser, and I think he regretted doing this.

And Jason picked Allison, which I think was a nice date that he planned -- you know, dinner and going out on the lake and fishing. It was fun, but Allison was like this girl who doesn't want to get her clothes wet. So he should have gone with the snowboarder, who may have not been a ten but an eight. Unfortunately he didn't.

I don’t think either of them are going to have another date. It didn't work out for either one of them this week. But I think they learned. And there was one funny bit that happened, where is Frank really liked Jason and asked him out. But Jason turned him down.

Making a Match: Larry Birkhead & Melyssa Ford

Find out what Patti really thought about sexy Melyssa and shy guy Larry's dates.

This week I got to meet one of the sweetest guys in the world, Larry Birkhead: the boy from Kentucky. There’s just one problem: he hasn’t dated in like a decade. This guy needs practice. I mean, he’s drop dead gorgeous and he can’t do anything. I can send him out into the world and the world of a mixer and a date, but he could botch it. Candace and I will give him some mock dating experience and I will pick his date for him. The first time he’ll meet her will be when they go out for the first time. No chance for him to get nervous, and more importantly, no time for the girl to look him up and see who he is. He can stand on his own two feet and just be himself, not Anna Nicole’s ex.

He can stand on his own two feet and just be himself, not Anna Nicole’s ex.

My other client this week is drop dead gorgeous: Melyssa Ford. She’s the star of Blood Sweat and Heels, she used to be in a bunch of music videos, and she was nicknamed the "Video Vixen". I know it’s hard to turn off the beauty and the booty, so I bring her to doctor Pat Allen. Doctor Pat and I have worked together for years. Doctor Pat told Melyssa that she should be leading with her brain. Melyssa can be sexy no matter what: but can she look for the guy who’s interested in what she has to say, not what she looks like?

So I’m doing something new: I get Candace and David to bring a bunch of good appropriate men and women to the mixer. I just want a handful of guys for Melyssa, and a handful of girls for Larry. I introduce the best ones to Melyssa for her to choose from, and I’ll pick the best girl to set up Larry with on a blind date. Melyssa picks Jay. Jay listened to the conversation, and remembered Melyssa liked bowling and cigars. And he took her on a perfect, fun, get-to-know-you date. Meanwhile, Larry met up with his date at Universal Studios. He had a private tour set up, and he and Michelle met for the first time. They had a blast. She knew who he was, but they got past that and they got to know each other. And he took her for dinner and even got a kiss at the end.

So in the end, I’m so happy that both Larry and Melyssa got to learn something. Larry got to know he can be himself and there’s no need to be shy, and she knows (Melyssa) that there are guys out there who can look past her booty and see the great girl underneath.

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