Cast Blog: #MATCHMAKER

The Hottest Mess

Patti explains the problem with millionairesses, the wounded, and why she won't be signing up for Emma's classes any time soon.

Full transcript after the jump

OK, so this week's going to be a little bit different. So I have a millionairess for the first time back in LA, which I'm not looking forward too, because they're always a hot mess and a pain in the ass.

And certainly Emma walks in, she's a British crazy pants, who is a stripper, burlesque dancer, pole dancer, exercise fiend, and she owns a studio where she teaches people how to do this crap. OK, like I’m going to join. Not.

She's been married three times since the age of fifteen, yes in Britain they do it a little weird. Well she comes to me saying she really needs a man and I'm thinking OK great. I'm going to screen people for you, but this week we're going to do it different. We're going to do a two-way mirror.

On top of that Frank walks in. Frank's from Vegas. He's the top plastic surgeon there. He has a little bit of wound. Somebody rejected him so many years ago -- back in medical school, he was cheated on. Ever since then it's control, control, control. Gets up at 5 am, seven days a week, whether it's rain or shine or vacation time -- and if his date doesn't do that, she's out.

So I'm thinking to myself, whoa these two are a little crazy. A little mental, OK so it's mental week.

Now I’ve got to find guys for her for Emma, which are men. She likes George Clooney types. And I've gotta find girls, little spinnerettes, with a personality that'’s sweet, that has a good job that Frank will like.

I put them in a room now I know for sure Emma's going to go off and like Frank. Frank has no interest. He thinks he's talking to Harry Potter, JK Rowling.

So I do a two-way mirror for Frank and Frank gets the girl of his dreams, which is Natalie who's fantastic. She's the perfect girl. He is beaming from ear to ear.

And Emma is sad, miserable, and unhappy. Bitchy, bitchy, bitchy, bitchy. She's like the guy you picked for me is bo-ring, bo-ring. And I'm like, you're boring. The guy I picked for you is great. In fact, if he were 6 foot 2, I'd date him. He is good looking. He's the appropriate age. He owns his own surf company. His kids are grown. He likes women with children – not just one three! He lives in Hawaii and in California. Oh that's so terrible going to Hawaii. Oh yeah, that's real boring.

Like get a date yourself if you don’t like it.

And I decide he's going to take her out for dinner. So I think it should be a simple date. So they're going off to sushi, when I get a call that she's started stripping, burlesque-ing, gyrating him at her studio. That's how the date started. I feel so awful. And now he has to go to dinner with her and I'm thinking my god this date is going to go so south. And it did. He I will fix up later. She I want to smack against the wall.

Frank and Natalie go out. They have a really good date. Everything's fantastic. I'm like so happy for them. Thank god one out of two work this week.

I'm thinking to myself I’m going to be screamed at to no end. And of course she walks in with an attitude like no tomorrow. And I'm like, you know what. I really don't like you. I don’t have patience for you. I'm going to be fixing up Kelly with one of my closest friends. So you eat me and get the f—k out of my office.

The millionairess I have no patience for. I can't stand them. They’re just the same bulls—t, bulls—t, bulls—t.

Making a Match: A Bachelor's Bachelor

Patti Stanger dishes on getting dog out of of Bachelor star Jesse Kovacs and getting AJ Johnson to let go of control. 

Season 8 of The Millionaire Matchmaker is one of the most dramatic ever. This time around, Patti Stanger is helping plenty of unlikely clients find love, from Perez Hilton and Bravo's own Sheree Whitfield to musician Adam O'Rourke!

Each week, we're asking Patti to weigh in on every episode in her exclusive vlog. She'll tackle the good (ditching the douche), the bad (AJ standing up his second date)—and the hilarious (did Patti just say she loves porn?!). 

This week, she talks about finding the perfect match for The Bachelor's infamous Jesse Kovacs, Candace Smith's pal and perfectionist AJ Johnson and more. Check out the latest episode vlog below and watch past episodes here.

This was a fun week I had two clients, AJ Johnson from Chicagolicious and Jesse Kovacs -- he’s been on several versions of The Bachelor.

I’ll start with AJ: he wants the perfect partner in business, life and love. Candace tells me he is a control freak and she is not kidding. I call him Mr. Cuffington because he likes putting girls in cuffs and he wants to control their look, what they say, how they act. He is a mess, but he is a nice guy. If he continues to put the cuffs on the girls he’s going to drive down lonely lane. I have an idea of how I’m going to do this mixer, but at first I introduce AJ to a fellow stylist mister blow out himself Jonathan Anton. He is in the same business as AJ and he’s had a lot of success.

On to my other client, when I meet Jesse Kovacs he’s nice and he’s handsome, so why does he have trouble finding love? Because he has a terrible reputation. He just wants to meet a nice girl who likes him for who he is and isn’t pre-judging him, but I need to get deeper. He knows he’s screwed up and he’s willing to change.

Jesse Kovacs is nice and he’s handsome, so why does he have trouble finding love? Because he has a terrible reputation.


For both these guys I want to do a special mixer. In this mixer were going to play a little game and my clients aren’t going to be able to see the girls. This works out great and AJ whittles his choice down to beautiful pageant girl Melissa and Jesse chooses cute little Kate.

AJ takes Melissa on a very romantic day of wine tasting in Malibu, they even get to stomp around in the grapes and they ended up having dinner at Geoffrey’s overlooking the water. I hope they will see each other again and I know

AJ has learned a lot from this.

Jesse also had some success. He and Kate had a playful date go-kart racing and I think they really hit it off, we’ll see. But I think both of my guys have learned a lot about themselves and about love.

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