True Blood Versuses The Wannabe

Making a Match: Patti Melts and Bravo Reunions

Making a Match: Speidi, Bad Guys & Playboy

Making a Match: The Real Perez and Sexy Sonja

Making a Match: Making Jill (and Ally) Happy

Making a Match: Crashing Chilli's Date!

Making a Match: Larry Birkhead & Melyssa Ford

Patti Turns NeNe's Bridesmaids to Brides

A Waste of a Good Mirror

Getting a Nice Guy for Rachel Uchitel

Breaking 'Matchmaker' History

Two Millionaires That Shouldn't Be Single

The Critical Dick Goes Home Alone

A Dorky Doc and a Hopeless Romantic

Carson Kressley, the Millionaire Whisperer

Patti's Vlog: Everyone Gets a Valentine!

Patti's Vlog: Patti's the Love Doctor

Patti's Vlog: Stefan Richter Tried to Date Patti!

A Bashful Beauty and a Not-So-Golden Oldie

A Shallow Old Dog and a Sweet River Rat

What Rosie Wants and a Gay Hugh Hefner

Great Expectations and the Running Man

Courtney Kerr and a Swedish Peacock

Sarcastic Cheban and a 'Man-diego' Bachelor

Sweetheart Swayze and a Virtual Phantom

Patti's Biggest, Most Tempting Mixer Yet

A Red-Hot Night for the Millionaires

Time for Some Spice: The Ginger Mixer!

Gaynor Gets the Girl (So Does Allison!)

Adam Gaynor Wins, Allison Baver Skates By

Patti Says Leave Boss at the Business

Chef K Wins One for the Lesbian Team

Mitch Berger, NFL Peter Pan, Grows Up

Johnny Out Sweets Yigit

Sweet Yigit Gets No Sugar on His Date

Just Robin Being Robin

Bye-Bye Bradley, Hello Kitty

Robin Kassner Gets Serious

The Rules According to Aimee

Matt "The Candy Man" Riviera

Time for Patti to Give Me a Raise

True Blood Versuses The Wannabe

Patti shares her thoughts on William and Brandon's dates -- and her Louisiana accent.

Full transcript after the jump

Again, I've got two millionaires this week. So I’ve got player wannabe William. OK so he's got an umbilical cord that's attached to his mother. Alright, Jewish Messiah Complex 101. And on top of it, he thinks he’s a reformed playboy that can get any girl at ten paces away. Newsflash you can't! He's a banker that made money overnight, and got rid of his first girlfriend for his second girlfriend when he started to think he could trade up George Clooney-style. OK!

Then we've got Brandon. Little Bon Temps from True Blood country and New Orleans. He's got a JT attitude, scruff on his face, super cute, but he's wounded. He doesn't even know if he can hunt and fish anymore 'cause his last girlfriend left him because he neglected her. And he admits. He admits it.

So what do I do? I decide I’m going to make a full on, big full-scale mixer for both of them. I bring tons of hottie patotties for William and tons of hottie patotties for Brandon. In fact, I thought for sure each of them were going to catfight over one of them. And yo and behold that's what happened.

Brandon picks from the minute the two girls he wanted. Ultimately he picks Jaclyn. Well what do you think William wants? William picks the same girl. Not because he really wants it, it's just because Brandon does, and he has to be a wannabe, an any be, in any place at anytime. I'm like, "No, no, no, no. it's not gonna happen.” We ask Jaclyn, "Who do you want?" She picks picks Brandon. I was so proud of her. But I had to make a pick. So I went to my second choice, and she said no to William. Now William is lost without a date. What's a girl to do? My first choice for William was Farrah. I said, would you mind going out with Farrah? Farrah would you mind going out with William. They both said yes.

Brandon goes on his date first. He knocks it out of the park. He has this fabulous dinner and paragliding. It’s romance, romance. They make several other dates. They hang out over the weekend. She becomes the Saturday night girl. Jaclyn won the night. I mean the two of them could not be cuter then they were.

Now it's up to William. William picks the stupidest date -- the Polo – which neither one has played. They have to spend all day in a lesson. They don't get to interact with each other. She has a teacher. He has a teacher. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. Of course he doesn't listen to the matchmaker. He does what he wants. But for some reason, Farrah likes him. Even with his Douchey Mcdouchey, player, wanna-be ways. She sees right through that exterior and actually likes him. He starts asking her out. Bringing her roses. They're a match too. They're another match this week. So now I'm six for six.

Making a Match: Speidi, Bad Guys & Playboy

Patti talks working with Speidi to break Stephanie Pratt of her bad boy habit and setting up former Playmate Kari Whitman.

Season 8 of The Millionaire Matchmaker is one of the most dramatic ever. This time around, Patti Stanger is helping plenty of unlikely clients find love, from Perez Hilton and 'Chili' Thomas to Real Miami Housewife Marysol Patton.

Each week, we're asking Patti to weigh in on every episode in her exclusive vlog. She'll tackle the good (a real-life 'Ghost' moment), the bad (boys in Stephanie Pratt's case)—and the hilarious (a man pole dancing for Speidi!). 

This week, she talks about setting up Stephanie Pratt, Playboy Bunnny Kari Whitman and more. Check out the latest episode vlog below and watch past episodes here.

So this week I have Stephanie Pratt, Spencer Pratt's sister! She is drop dead smokin' gorgeous. The problem is she dates bad boys. Bad boys who have no bank accounts. Bad boys who won't even take her to dinner! So, I decide that Speidi needs to come in and help me with recruiting. I mean I need Spencer. He is the voice of reason. And you know what I notice that Spencer and Heidi are so madly in love. 

I also decided to fix up Kari Whitman this week. She used to be engaged to Don Johnson among many other stars. Kari needs to cleanse bad habits and old habits that were clinging to her exes. Kari needs a little bit of loosening up because she's like a stiff girl. She's got like a stick up her ass. She's all hoity-toity. Like, the botox don't move, neither do the tits. 

She's got like a stick up her ass. She's all hoity-toity. Like, the botox don't move, neither do the tits.

If there's anyone literally who can help Kari detox, it's Tracy Anderson. She's like a mad scientist that can help get your inner balance. Before we meet the guys, Tracy gives us a whole new exercise routine, which by the way I've been using -- and do you see that? That's from Tracy Anderson. Now, we're recruiting for Kari. So these guys come in. They're drop dead gorgeous and they're all dress in workout gear. 
So we decide, my team and I, that we're going to do a dinner mixer. Stephanie is leaning toward Trevor the whole time. But we also like Dutch, who's a really great guy. So it's Dutch or Trevor, Dutch or Trevor. We're not sure yet, but those two are in it to win it. Kari totally likes Kevin and Emilio. So I was really, really shocked because Kari chose Emilio. I wasn't sure she was going to go that way. But then Stephanie chose what I wanted, which was Trevor!
Trevor and Stephanie had this amazing dinner at Beach Cafe on the Santa Monica Pier. They won prizes on the pier, they went on the Ferris wheel. And they kissed!
Kari met Emilio at the pottery shop where they had a lesson of getting dirty with clay. It was a real Ghost moment, very sexy. They went for oysters and Emilio created a special drink for her and they shared a sexy kiss. That was a really romantic date, by the way.
Really proud of my clients this week and as always, they nailed it! These two found love, it was awesome this week. Best week yet!