Cast Blog: #MATCHMAKER

Prince Full of Poppycock

Making a Match: Crashing Chilli's Date!

Making a Match: Larry Birkhead & Melyssa Ford

Patti Turns NeNe's Bridesmaids to Brides

A Waste of a Good Mirror

Getting a Nice Guy for Rachel Uchitel

Breaking 'Matchmaker' History

Two Millionaires That Shouldn't Be Single

The Critical Dick Goes Home Alone

A Dorky Doc and a Hopeless Romantic

Carson Kressley, the Millionaire Whisperer

Patti's Vlog: Everyone Gets a Valentine!

Patti's Vlog: Patti's the Love Doctor

Patti's Vlog: Stefan Richter Tried to Date Patti!

A Bashful Beauty and a Not-So-Golden Oldie

A Shallow Old Dog and a Sweet River Rat

What Rosie Wants and a Gay Hugh Hefner

Great Expectations and the Running Man

Courtney Kerr and a Swedish Peacock

Sarcastic Cheban and a 'Man-diego' Bachelor

Sweetheart Swayze and a Virtual Phantom

Patti's Biggest, Most Tempting Mixer Yet

A Red-Hot Night for the Millionaires

Time for Some Spice: The Ginger Mixer!

Gaynor Gets the Girl (So Does Allison!)

Adam Gaynor Wins, Allison Baver Skates By

Patti Says Leave Boss at the Business

Chef K Wins One for the Lesbian Team

Mitch Berger, NFL Peter Pan, Grows Up

Johnny Out Sweets Yigit

Sweet Yigit Gets No Sugar on His Date

Just Robin Being Robin

Bye-Bye Bradley, Hello Kitty

Robin Kassner Gets Serious

The Rules According to Aimee

Matt "The Candy Man" Riviera

Time for Patti to Give Me a Raise

Skeet Shooting is a Bad Date Idea

Let the Man Be the Man on a Date

Irv's Nerve

Patti's Favorite Episode

Prince Full of Poppycock

Destin discusses lions and tigers and princes, oh my.

What a week at MC. My client was Captain Monogram himself, Prince Max. He is looking for the right woman to settle his royal loins down with. Yep. Nice guy, but a little too "affected." Still, duty calls, and I'd like to see him happy and sailing off into the sunset with the perfect dame.

Then we have Rachel's winner, Danny the Geek, a Groupon mascot who is about as socially awkward as a Jonas Brother at an orgy.

With my encouragement, Patti instructs MaxiPad not to lead with his "royal" foot. She then gives Danny Boy the hipster makeover to give him the illusion of showering.

At the mixer, Prince hides his symbols and surprisingly shines to the girls, ending up with my top choice, Clark -- a tall, blonde, drink of water -- that fits him mentally. Dan the Man on the other hand, ends up choosing a feisty spitfire prepared to eat him alive. . .seemingly literally.

Max and Clark kiss. Yay. Happiness. Good Prince. Daniel and Sheena kiss (well, she kisses him) and his tiger turns out to be nothing more than a little p---y. In the end, I'm proud of my client , his royal highness -- and really, that's all I can ask for. Meow.

Des