Sade and Top of Her Game Britney
Episode 8: Patti deals with two nice guys -- nice guys with lots of baggage and lots of questions.
Welcome back daters. It feels like eons since we've had Patti's pearls of wisdoms. So let's dive right back in.
Ms. Stanger's got two would-be nice guys on her hands, including a man we’ve seen before.
Do: Let the wine breathe, so to speak
Meet Mitch. He's handsome, in a Danny Bonaduce-y sort of way. He's also going to tell you everything about himself. Did you know he has three kids, that he had a girlfriend that was the love of his life, that his wife left him for a drug dealer, that he drives a Maserati full of precious kids? You know now. He's also pretty rusty, but he's ready for his Britney Spears (circa when she was on top of her game. I'll say "Stronger"). Patti wants him to tone it down a bit, a play up his good dad abilities -- because according to Patti that's what gets a girl wet. I do love a handsome DILF.
Meanwhile, Ayinde is back and looking for a Sade with an Ivy league degree. But it's possible no one is worthy of his radio-friendly love.Don't: Wear anything that cuts you at the ankles, it makes you look shorter
Patti, is not a fan of ankle boots. Let the record show.
Don't: Ask people about which biographies they read
At the mixer, Ayinde has plenty of questions -- like an SAT exam's worth of questions. Do you like radio? Are your eyes real? Ayinde's got himself to a pretty tight list. He's not interested in people that aren't different than him –- like people who haven't ready the autobiography of Malcolm X. This is not going to work out well. Patti tries to step in, but he continues with his barrage of interview questions, until finally Orange Mocha Frappuccino manages to keep him interested in Bracha enough for the big date.
Meanwhile, Mitch practices his Spanish with Tova and chooses to come with him and butcher more of the language on a real date.
It's funny to me that this mixer was so cerebral, since the men were none too swift with Patti in the pre-mixer pop quiz.
Don't: Ask your date to identify all the veggies on her plate
Mitch and Tova’s date was really precious. Between the camels and the mention of simply ironing out wrinkles, I had no fears that these two were going to work out. Ayinde and Bracha on the other hand did not seems as equally matched -- considering he immediately had her strip down into gardening clothes and had her do community service.
That we can move past, but did he really need to test her culinary cred by having her ID all the items on her plate. C'mon man. Let people eat their radishes in peace.
Needless to say Patti had some choice words for him.
Another one bites the dust. But the question is who is dating the camel?
Next week Patti pairs up some brothers, one with a prison past. . .