Cast Blog: #MATCHMAKER

Sade and Top of Her Game Britney

Making a Match: Crashing Chilli's Date!

Making a Match: Larry Birkhead & Melyssa Ford

Patti Turns NeNe's Bridesmaids to Brides

A Waste of a Good Mirror

Getting a Nice Guy for Rachel Uchitel

Breaking 'Matchmaker' History

Two Millionaires That Shouldn't Be Single

The Critical Dick Goes Home Alone

A Dorky Doc and a Hopeless Romantic

Carson Kressley, the Millionaire Whisperer

Patti's Vlog: Everyone Gets a Valentine!

Patti's Vlog: Patti's the Love Doctor

Patti's Vlog: Stefan Richter Tried to Date Patti!

A Bashful Beauty and a Not-So-Golden Oldie

A Shallow Old Dog and a Sweet River Rat

What Rosie Wants and a Gay Hugh Hefner

Great Expectations and the Running Man

Courtney Kerr and a Swedish Peacock

Sarcastic Cheban and a 'Man-diego' Bachelor

Sweetheart Swayze and a Virtual Phantom

Patti's Biggest, Most Tempting Mixer Yet

A Red-Hot Night for the Millionaires

Time for Some Spice: The Ginger Mixer!

Gaynor Gets the Girl (So Does Allison!)

Adam Gaynor Wins, Allison Baver Skates By

Patti Says Leave Boss at the Business

Chef K Wins One for the Lesbian Team

Mitch Berger, NFL Peter Pan, Grows Up

Johnny Out Sweets Yigit

Sweet Yigit Gets No Sugar on His Date

Just Robin Being Robin

Bye-Bye Bradley, Hello Kitty

Robin Kassner Gets Serious

The Rules According to Aimee

Matt "The Candy Man" Riviera

Time for Patti to Give Me a Raise

Skeet Shooting is a Bad Date Idea

Let the Man Be the Man on a Date

Irv's Nerve

Patti's Favorite Episode

Sade and Top of Her Game Britney

Episode 8: Patti deals with two nice guys -- nice guys with lots of baggage and lots of questions.

Welcome back daters. It feels like eons since we've had Patti's pearls of wisdoms. So let's dive right back in.

Ms. Stanger's got two would-be nice guys on her hands, including a man we’ve seen before.

Do: Let the wine breathe, so to speak
Meet Mitch. He's handsome, in a Danny Bonaduce-y sort of way. He's also going to tell you everything about himself. Did you know he has three kids, that he had a girlfriend that was the love of his life, that his wife left him for a drug dealer, that he drives a Maserati full of precious kids? You know now. He's also pretty rusty, but he's ready for his Britney Spears (circa when she was on top of her game. I'll say "Stronger"). Patti wants him to tone it down a bit, a play up his good dad abilities -- because according to Patti that's what gets a girl wet. I do love a handsome DILF.

Meanwhile, Ayinde is back and looking for a Sade with an Ivy league degree. But it's possible no one is worthy of his radio-friendly love.Don't: Wear anything that cuts you at the ankles, it makes you look shorter
Patti, is not a fan of ankle boots. Let the record show.

Don't: Ask people about which biographies they read
At the mixer, Ayinde has plenty of questions -- like an SAT exam's worth of questions. Do you like radio? Are your eyes real? Ayinde's got himself to a pretty tight list. He's not interested in people that aren't different than him –- like people who haven't ready the autobiography of Malcolm X. This is not going to work out well. Patti tries to step in, but he continues with his barrage of interview questions, until finally Orange Mocha Frappuccino manages to keep him interested in Bracha enough for the big date.

Meanwhile, Mitch practices his Spanish with Tova and chooses to come with him and butcher more of the language on a real date.

It's funny to me that this mixer was so cerebral, since the men were none too swift with Patti in the pre-mixer pop quiz.

Don't: Ask your date to identify all the veggies on her plate
Mitch and Tova’s date was really precious. Between the camels and the mention of simply ironing out wrinkles, I had no fears that these two were going to work out. Ayinde and Bracha on the other hand did not seems as equally matched -- considering he immediately had her strip down into gardening clothes and had her do community service.

That we can move past, but did he really need to test her culinary cred by having her ID all the items on her plate. C'mon man. Let people eat their radishes in peace.

Needless to say Patti had some choice words for him.

Another one bites the dust. But the question is who is dating the camel?

Next week Patti pairs up some brothers, one with a prison past. . .

Making a Match: Larry Birkhead & Melyssa Ford

Find out what Patti really thought about sexy Melyssa and shy guy Larry's dates.

This week I got to meet one of the sweetest guys in the world, Larry Birkhead: the boy from Kentucky. There’s just one problem: he hasn’t dated in like a decade. This guy needs practice. I mean, he’s drop dead gorgeous and he can’t do anything. I can send him out into the world and the world of a mixer and a date, but he could botch it. Candace and I will give him some mock dating experience and I will pick his date for him. The first time he’ll meet her will be when they go out for the first time. No chance for him to get nervous, and more importantly, no time for the girl to look him up and see who he is. He can stand on his own two feet and just be himself, not Anna Nicole’s ex.

He can stand on his own two feet and just be himself, not Anna Nicole’s ex.

My other client this week is drop dead gorgeous: Melyssa Ford. She’s the star of Blood Sweat and Heels, she used to be in a bunch of music videos, and she was nicknamed the "Video Vixen". I know it’s hard to turn off the beauty and the booty, so I bring her to doctor Pat Allen. Doctor Pat and I have worked together for years. Doctor Pat told Melyssa that she should be leading with her brain. Melyssa can be sexy no matter what: but can she look for the guy who’s interested in what she has to say, not what she looks like?

So I’m doing something new: I get Candace and David to bring a bunch of good appropriate men and women to the mixer. I just want a handful of guys for Melyssa, and a handful of girls for Larry. I introduce the best ones to Melyssa for her to choose from, and I’ll pick the best girl to set up Larry with on a blind date. Melyssa picks Jay. Jay listened to the conversation, and remembered Melyssa liked bowling and cigars. And he took her on a perfect, fun, get-to-know-you date. Meanwhile, Larry met up with his date at Universal Studios. He had a private tour set up, and he and Michelle met for the first time. They had a blast. She knew who he was, but they got past that and they got to know each other. And he took her for dinner and even got a kiss at the end.

So in the end, I’m so happy that both Larry and Melyssa got to learn something. Larry got to know he can be himself and there’s no need to be shy, and she knows (Melyssa) that there are guys out there who can look past her booty and see the great girl underneath.

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