Cast Blog: #MATCHMAKER

Sade and Top of Her Game Britney

Making a Match: Crashing Chilli's Date!

Making a Match: Larry Birkhead & Melyssa Ford

Patti Turns NeNe's Bridesmaids to Brides

A Waste of a Good Mirror

Getting a Nice Guy for Rachel Uchitel

Breaking 'Matchmaker' History

Two Millionaires That Shouldn't Be Single

The Critical Dick Goes Home Alone

A Dorky Doc and a Hopeless Romantic

Carson Kressley, the Millionaire Whisperer

Patti's Vlog: Everyone Gets a Valentine!

Patti's Vlog: Patti's the Love Doctor

Patti's Vlog: Stefan Richter Tried to Date Patti!

A Bashful Beauty and a Not-So-Golden Oldie

A Shallow Old Dog and a Sweet River Rat

What Rosie Wants and a Gay Hugh Hefner

Great Expectations and the Running Man

Courtney Kerr and a Swedish Peacock

Sarcastic Cheban and a 'Man-diego' Bachelor

Sweetheart Swayze and a Virtual Phantom

Patti's Biggest, Most Tempting Mixer Yet

A Red-Hot Night for the Millionaires

Time for Some Spice: The Ginger Mixer!

Gaynor Gets the Girl (So Does Allison!)

Adam Gaynor Wins, Allison Baver Skates By

Patti Says Leave Boss at the Business

Chef K Wins One for the Lesbian Team

Mitch Berger, NFL Peter Pan, Grows Up

Johnny Out Sweets Yigit

Sweet Yigit Gets No Sugar on His Date

Just Robin Being Robin

Bye-Bye Bradley, Hello Kitty

Robin Kassner Gets Serious

The Rules According to Aimee

Matt "The Candy Man" Riviera

Time for Patti to Give Me a Raise

Skeet Shooting is a Bad Date Idea

Let the Man Be the Man on a Date

Irv's Nerve

Patti's Favorite Episode

Sade and Top of Her Game Britney

Episode 8: Patti deals with two nice guys -- nice guys with lots of baggage and lots of questions.

Welcome back daters. It feels like eons since we've had Patti's pearls of wisdoms. So let's dive right back in.

Ms. Stanger's got two would-be nice guys on her hands, including a man we’ve seen before.

Do: Let the wine breathe, so to speak
Meet Mitch. He's handsome, in a Danny Bonaduce-y sort of way. He's also going to tell you everything about himself. Did you know he has three kids, that he had a girlfriend that was the love of his life, that his wife left him for a drug dealer, that he drives a Maserati full of precious kids? You know now. He's also pretty rusty, but he's ready for his Britney Spears (circa when she was on top of her game. I'll say "Stronger"). Patti wants him to tone it down a bit, a play up his good dad abilities -- because according to Patti that's what gets a girl wet. I do love a handsome DILF.

Meanwhile, Ayinde is back and looking for a Sade with an Ivy league degree. But it's possible no one is worthy of his radio-friendly love.Don't: Wear anything that cuts you at the ankles, it makes you look shorter
Patti, is not a fan of ankle boots. Let the record show.

Don't: Ask people about which biographies they read
At the mixer, Ayinde has plenty of questions -- like an SAT exam's worth of questions. Do you like radio? Are your eyes real? Ayinde's got himself to a pretty tight list. He's not interested in people that aren't different than him –- like people who haven't ready the autobiography of Malcolm X. This is not going to work out well. Patti tries to step in, but he continues with his barrage of interview questions, until finally Orange Mocha Frappuccino manages to keep him interested in Bracha enough for the big date.

Meanwhile, Mitch practices his Spanish with Tova and chooses to come with him and butcher more of the language on a real date.

It's funny to me that this mixer was so cerebral, since the men were none too swift with Patti in the pre-mixer pop quiz.

Don't: Ask your date to identify all the veggies on her plate
Mitch and Tova’s date was really precious. Between the camels and the mention of simply ironing out wrinkles, I had no fears that these two were going to work out. Ayinde and Bracha on the other hand did not seems as equally matched -- considering he immediately had her strip down into gardening clothes and had her do community service.

That we can move past, but did he really need to test her culinary cred by having her ID all the items on her plate. C'mon man. Let people eat their radishes in peace.

Needless to say Patti had some choice words for him.

Another one bites the dust. But the question is who is dating the camel?

Next week Patti pairs up some brothers, one with a prison past. . .

Patti Turns NeNe's Bridesmaids to Brides

Patti thinks it won’t be long before these two are following their friend Nene Leakes’ lead down the aisle.

Read Patti's full transcript after the jump!

OK, greatest week ever. We have my friend NeNe Leakes out here from Atlanta and she brought me the gift that keeps on giving, great women who are looking to be set up! So I’m doing NeNe a favor this week and we’re throwing her two eligible bridesmaids a mixer to top all mixers. These girls are gonna get hooked up, and if they play their cards right, they might end up with a handsome man on their arm.

So let’s get this started. NeNe introduces me to Dawn Robinson and Diana Gowins. Diana is the mothering type. Not just a little bit, she could out-mother Mother Teresa. I get where she’s coming from, she’s an ex-nurse, she’s got three kids, she’s a nurturer. But she’s got a problem: she over-nurtures and that gives the guys the wrong signal, especially when they start dating. A man doesn’t want his date to be a mother until they have some children together. Until then, she’s his hot wife and Diana’s got to lead with the sexy and bring the mothering to the table later. That one’s easy.

Dawn is a little tougher. She’s tall, gorgeous, but also really intellectually smart, and she knows it. She’s got a high finance job, and she doesn’t need a man telling her anything. Well, there’s the problem because a man needs to at least feel like he’s worth something. So Dawn doesn’t need to play dumb, but she also doesn’t need to intimidate the guy or drive over the guy like a competitive tank commander. Alpha women are tough to change, but I can sometimes get them to put away the alpha from time to time to lure a man in. And if Dawn listens to me and tries not to compete with the guy right out of the gate, she’ll be happy she did because the guys will come to her like bees to honey.

So NeNe and I have our work cut out for us this week and we set up a recruiting so NeNe could help me pick out fine gentlemen for her friends. It was a really good idea. She knows what they like, but she’s also honest and knows what they tend to do, and what men aren’t right for them.

NeNe helped us pick the right men, and I think it was worth it because we had a great mixer. The mixer was a classy affair at The Mark and everybody had a great time. The men were respectful but they also were having fun. NeNe and I kept an eye on things, making sure Diana didn’t try to mother anybody out of the door and that Dawn kept her man eating claws inside.  Both girls did great, and by the end each had chosen a great guy, Dawn had Isaac eating out of the palm of her hand and Diana had Dante right where she wanted him staring right back at her.

And because these two are best friends, we decided to let them have a little back up. They all went out together on a double date. The guys were told to plan the date, and Isaac and Dante did great. They got Louis Van Amstel from Dancing With The Stars to give them salsa dancing lessons and then they also had a romantic rooftop winter wonderland dinner where they actually made it snow. Which in L.A. is kind of amazing.

At the end of the week, I think both girls had a really great time. Time will tell, but I think it won’t be long before these two are following their friend Nene’s lead and dancing down their own aisles. And they’ll just have me and NeNe to thank. Well, you’re welcome girls. 

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