The Little Matchmaker Recap

Episode 1: Bravotv.com's Associate Editor gleans lessons from Patti's first week back in L.A. -- specifically about proper posing and helicopter etiquette.

Aug 15, 2011

Do Have "Michelangelo fingers"

There are a lot of things I worry about on first dates. Am I talking too much? Do I laugh weird? Am I going to have to eat in front of him? Is that food in his teeth or is that how his teeth actually are? Never have I worried that my fingers weren't Michelangelo enough. But I’ve never been out with Michael.

Patti knew off the bat that this guy might have been a touch too handsome and perfect to need her services. I found the first red flag to be the fact he was blatantly hitting on Patti. No wait, I was suspicious when he was casually making a sculpture and holding a Grandma Wrinkles cat. His diverse interest and use of the word "fantastico" really set some bells and whistles off for me.

So Patti was from the get-go was worried he might be too perfect -- and she was right! His date was a photoshoot where he berated poor Tammy's ability to climb sexily out of a suicide door. I personally don't want someone I don't know if I ever want to see again having photos of me, lest I find out on Date 2 that he's produced a calendar and scheduled the next year of our life together. But at least I've learned that I should indeed be more cautious that I pose my fingers as though I was just grasping for God himself.