Jennifer Love Hewitt: She is forever trying on wedding dresses (and being photographed in wedding dresses), her middle name is love, she's tweeting people on The Bachelorette for love. Notice a pattern here.

Jessica Simpson: It's always a good idea to stay away from people who've been referred to as "sexual napalm" by John Mayer.

Kate Gosselin: One word -- baggage.

Madonna: Because she keeps getting older, but her boyfriends stay the same age. Also, have you seen those arms? She's not one to mess with.

Pamela Anderson: Truthfully, it's because her and Tommy Lee still really belong together.

Tara Reid: Wait -- nevermind -- someone else just married her.

Taylor Swift: Sure she wears t-shirts, but she will most definitely write a song about you when you break up.

Lindsay Lohan: How much fun will you really have if she's always under house arrest?