Cast Blog: #MATCHMAKER

My Favorite Client Ever

Making a Match: Crashing Chilli's Date!

Making a Match: Larry Birkhead & Melyssa Ford

Patti Turns NeNe's Bridesmaids to Brides

A Waste of a Good Mirror

Getting a Nice Guy for Rachel Uchitel

Breaking 'Matchmaker' History

Two Millionaires That Shouldn't Be Single

The Critical Dick Goes Home Alone

A Dorky Doc and a Hopeless Romantic

Carson Kressley, the Millionaire Whisperer

Patti's Vlog: Everyone Gets a Valentine!

Patti's Vlog: Patti's the Love Doctor

Patti's Vlog: Stefan Richter Tried to Date Patti!

A Bashful Beauty and a Not-So-Golden Oldie

A Shallow Old Dog and a Sweet River Rat

What Rosie Wants and a Gay Hugh Hefner

Great Expectations and the Running Man

Courtney Kerr and a Swedish Peacock

Sarcastic Cheban and a 'Man-diego' Bachelor

Sweetheart Swayze and a Virtual Phantom

Patti's Biggest, Most Tempting Mixer Yet

A Red-Hot Night for the Millionaires

Time for Some Spice: The Ginger Mixer!

Gaynor Gets the Girl (So Does Allison!)

Adam Gaynor Wins, Allison Baver Skates By

Patti Says Leave Boss at the Business

Chef K Wins One for the Lesbian Team

Mitch Berger, NFL Peter Pan, Grows Up

Johnny Out Sweets Yigit

Sweet Yigit Gets No Sugar on His Date

Just Robin Being Robin

Bye-Bye Bradley, Hello Kitty

Robin Kassner Gets Serious

The Rules According to Aimee

Matt "The Candy Man" Riviera

Time for Patti to Give Me a Raise

Skeet Shooting is a Bad Date Idea

Let the Man Be the Man on a Date

Irv's Nerve

Patti's Favorite Episode

My Favorite Client Ever

Ep 3: Destin dishes the dirt on why Jim was his favorite client to date on Millionaire Matchmaker

Jim, Jimmy, James, Jimbo… whatever. And Destin gets a Spray Tan.

Yes, I got a spray tan. And if nothing else, I look less pasty. Not that there is anything wrong with pasty, but if my white ass is going to be telling the girls to stop being so sickly pale, I guess I should take a spoonful of my own medicine. The weirdest part though (aside from feeling compelled to dye my skin with fruit extracts sprayed from an airbrush on a regular basis), is the ‘tan line’. I feel like the Coppertone baby.

On to the Millionaires Club… this week we had the two Jims – Jim and Jimmy for the sake of this blog. Jimmy, Rach’s guy, is an older looking chap with a simple personality and about three six packs under his shirt. Doesn’t compete with the keg I have, but that’s probably a good thing. He’s nice enough, but kind of a drip.

My millionaire, Jim, though – is the bomb. He’s a sweet guy, in the film business like myself, funny, self-deprecating and kind. Love him. If I had a millionaire like him every week, my job would be so much easier. Matter of fact I will offer a GENEROUS commission to anyone that refers me a few more like this that pay for our services. Seriously, I’m not kidding. Help make my life easier!

Anyway, Jim has a few issues – doesn’t realize he leads with is money and whatnot- but they’re easily curbed. Patti likes him – again things that make job easier – so that’s good.

We meet some girls, pick the ones we like for our mixer – and get the party started.

Jimmy picks poorly. Jim picks wisely.

Jimmy’s date involves airblown ‘skydiving’. Who thinks that’s a good idea for a first date? Definitely not his date.

Jim pulls out all the stops for his date, Selma, with a mini photo-shoot, gourmet dinner, and some secret rendezvous afterwards.

He reports back with an ear-to-ear grin, and we all know what happened.

In the end, I like Jim. He takes the place of my favorite client to date. Now, Jim, fund my next movie – Sushi Girl is out and I’m ready for my next project – and by project I don’t mean a millionaires with a chipmunk voice. D’oh! That’s next week. Sigh. This is my life.

Making a Match: Larry Birkhead & Melyssa Ford

Find out what Patti really thought about sexy Melyssa and shy guy Larry's dates.

This week I got to meet one of the sweetest guys in the world, Larry Birkhead: the boy from Kentucky. There’s just one problem: he hasn’t dated in like a decade. This guy needs practice. I mean, he’s drop dead gorgeous and he can’t do anything. I can send him out into the world and the world of a mixer and a date, but he could botch it. Candace and I will give him some mock dating experience and I will pick his date for him. The first time he’ll meet her will be when they go out for the first time. No chance for him to get nervous, and more importantly, no time for the girl to look him up and see who he is. He can stand on his own two feet and just be himself, not Anna Nicole’s ex.

He can stand on his own two feet and just be himself, not Anna Nicole’s ex.

My other client this week is drop dead gorgeous: Melyssa Ford. She’s the star of Blood Sweat and Heels, she used to be in a bunch of music videos, and she was nicknamed the "Video Vixen". I know it’s hard to turn off the beauty and the booty, so I bring her to doctor Pat Allen. Doctor Pat and I have worked together for years. Doctor Pat told Melyssa that she should be leading with her brain. Melyssa can be sexy no matter what: but can she look for the guy who’s interested in what she has to say, not what she looks like?

So I’m doing something new: I get Candace and David to bring a bunch of good appropriate men and women to the mixer. I just want a handful of guys for Melyssa, and a handful of girls for Larry. I introduce the best ones to Melyssa for her to choose from, and I’ll pick the best girl to set up Larry with on a blind date. Melyssa picks Jay. Jay listened to the conversation, and remembered Melyssa liked bowling and cigars. And he took her on a perfect, fun, get-to-know-you date. Meanwhile, Larry met up with his date at Universal Studios. He had a private tour set up, and he and Michelle met for the first time. They had a blast. She knew who he was, but they got past that and they got to know each other. And he took her for dinner and even got a kiss at the end.

So in the end, I’m so happy that both Larry and Melyssa got to learn something. Larry got to know he can be himself and there’s no need to be shy, and she knows (Melyssa) that there are guys out there who can look past her booty and see the great girl underneath.

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