Cast Blog: #MATCHMAKER

Mitch Berger, NFL Peter Pan, Grows Up

Making a Match: Patti Melts and Bravo Reunions

Making a Match: Speidi, Bad Guys & Playboy

Making a Match: The Real Perez and Sexy Sonja

Making a Match: Making Jill (and Ally) Happy

Making a Match: Crashing Chilli's Date!

Making a Match: Larry Birkhead & Melyssa Ford

Patti Turns NeNe's Bridesmaids to Brides

A Waste of a Good Mirror

Getting a Nice Guy for Rachel Uchitel

Breaking 'Matchmaker' History

Two Millionaires That Shouldn't Be Single

The Critical Dick Goes Home Alone

A Dorky Doc and a Hopeless Romantic

Carson Kressley, the Millionaire Whisperer

Patti's Vlog: Everyone Gets a Valentine!

Patti's Vlog: Patti's the Love Doctor

Patti's Vlog: Stefan Richter Tried to Date Patti!

A Bashful Beauty and a Not-So-Golden Oldie

A Shallow Old Dog and a Sweet River Rat

What Rosie Wants and a Gay Hugh Hefner

Great Expectations and the Running Man

Courtney Kerr and a Swedish Peacock

Sarcastic Cheban and a 'Man-diego' Bachelor

Sweetheart Swayze and a Virtual Phantom

Patti's Biggest, Most Tempting Mixer Yet

A Red-Hot Night for the Millionaires

Time for Some Spice: The Ginger Mixer!

Gaynor Gets the Girl (So Does Allison!)

Adam Gaynor Wins, Allison Baver Skates By

Patti Says Leave Boss at the Business

Chef K Wins One for the Lesbian Team

Johnny Out Sweets Yigit

Sweet Yigit Gets No Sugar on His Date

Just Robin Being Robin

Bye-Bye Bradley, Hello Kitty

Robin Kassner Gets Serious

The Rules According to Aimee

Matt "The Candy Man" Riviera

Time for Patti to Give Me a Raise

Skeet Shooting is a Bad Date Idea

Mitch Berger, NFL Peter Pan, Grows Up

Patti spills on Mitch's maturity and Joe's big mistake.

Read Patti's full transcript after the jump:Mitch is a retired kicker and punter from the NFL. You know I love the NFL! He’s been on the road for so many years that he didn’t really have time to grow up and have an actual mature, evolved relationship. We call that the Peter Pan syndrome. He settled down in Vancouver, and now he’s ready for love, marriage, and lots of babies.

Joe is a VIP event producer in LA; he puts work before love, so he hasn’t been able to find the right girl. His mom was a single mom on welfare and worked her way all the way up the food chain and now she’s a judge. He uses that as inspiration for hard work, but he also comes off as very cocky -- a huge turn-off to all girls.

I met Mitch at Nicky’s in Venice. He’s a venture capitalist now and he works for Canadian ESPN on the radio. He’s dated girls who are gold-diggers, and too young (in the past). He’s now ready to change that, and find the right woman, his own age. I met Joe at Picnic, a great place in Playa del Rey. He’s much sweeter in person than on his video, although there are moments of cockiness there. He attracts all the wrong girls, and we’ll have to tame his cocky attitude if he expects to get the right girl.

I arranged for Mitch to meet a personal friend of mine, retired NBA player and broadcaster John Sally. John gives great advice to professional athletes about settling down and finding the right woman. He tells Mitch: don’t tell the girls at the mixer that you’re from the NFL; that only draws gold-diggers. For Mitch, I’m looking for Jessica Biel types who are open to starting a family, and for Joe I’m looking for hot Eva Mendes types, who have enough going on in their own lives.

Our mixer was at True in Hollywood. Mitch chose both Melissa and Bambi. On his mini-date with Bambi, after she reveals she loves sports, he spills his secret about being an NFL player, and he picks Bambi! Joe is late for the mixer because he had to work; he’s already putting work before love (shocker). He hits it off with both Melissa and Emily, and he picks Melissa, who just may be a bit out of his league, but I’m glad he’s trying.

Mitch and Bambi go horse-back riding; they have a blast. Afterwards, he cooks her dinner at a beach house, and it’s the first time anyone has ever cooked her dinner. They pop champagne and watch the dolphins play: how romantic! Joe and Melissa meet downtown at a loft on the 33rd floor of a building. Joe introduces her to an artist named Robert Vargas who teaches them how to draw with charcoal. They drink champagne while drawing each other. For dinner he takes her to a new restaurant, and they have a great conversation.

Mitch did great; he swept Bambi off her feet. Mitch and Bambi are in love: their relationship is in full bloom and has legs, thank God. Joe didn’t do so well; the date idea was great, but he didn’t kiss her! No real chemistry. Well, at least he knows what to do for the next time.

Making a Match: The Real Perez and Sexy Sonja

Patti strips Mario Lavandeira of his Perez Hilton persona and takes Sonja Morgan's love life into her own hands with a secret weapon.

Season 8 of The Millionaire Matchmaker is one of the most dramatic ever. This time around, Patti Stanger is helping plenty of unlikely clients find love, from Larry Birkhead and 'Chili' Thomas to Stephanie Pratt.

Each week, we're asking Patti to weigh in on every episode in her exclusive vlog. She'll tackle the good (crashing Chilli's date), the bad (Sonja's fast-burning match Thomas)—and the hilarious (kicking Jill Zarin out!). This week, she talks about setting up RHONY's own Sonja Morgan, Perez Hilton, and more. Check out the latest episode vlog below and watch past episodes here.

 So this week I’m setting up Perez Hilton. I met Sonja Morgan and she’s from The Real Housewives of New York City. She’s got a high profile divorce from American royalty, aka J.P. Morgan. So Sonja wants a down to earth, really strong guy with money who can travel at a moment’s notice to New York. And Perez wants the ultimate husband. So this is a big deal. And because his reputation is so bad, I gotta find guys who will date him.

 We get down to Sonja’s guys and there’s Thomas and Kent, which end up being the last two guys that I really like. Thomas is super sexy and hot, a little overt, too much wanting to get into her pants. And then there’s Kent who’s so steady, he’s got four kids, he’s really rich, and more importantly, he’s kind of a slow burn -- whereas Thomas is a fast burn. 

 Now, we grab David and we go through the guys for Perez. It’s a blind date. So Perez and his date meet for the first time. I knew this was going to happen, everybody in the gay community, it’s such a small town, and everyong knows eachother. I was like aw, sh--. But, the good thing about it, Perez had a I really good time. I think that after Greg accepted Perez and didn’t make him feel bad about his past, and Perez realized that Greg was a really nice guy, they became friends. It wasn’t a love match, but his confidence soared. I think this was a real learning lesson.

Perez wants the ultimate husband. So this is a big deal. And because his reputation is so bad, I gotta find guys who will date him.

 Sonja chooses Thomas at the mixer and I was kinda bummed because I knew that Thomas was all sex and all talk no action. I had something else up my sleeve. Just to protect myself. So the secret weapon I had was Rocco Dispirito. Rocco Dispirito is a good friend of mine. He just had a new cookbook out and I thought, ‘What a great way to get to know someone if you cook with them!’ So me and Rocco were on a date, and Sonja and Thomas were on a date. And before I knew it, they were flirting and touching and kissing, and I was like, ‘Oh sh--, oh sh--.’ I decided to pull a switch.

 So I pull Kent in and Sonja’s in shock because she didn’t know she was getting two dates and not just one. And of course, Sonja being the flirt and Sagittarius that she is, she just rose to the occasion. Before long, they’re on a date and Thomas is out. It was romance dujour!