Cast Blog: #MATCHMAKER

Robin Kassner Gets Serious

Making a Match: Crashing Chilli's Date!

Making a Match: Larry Birkhead & Melyssa Ford

Patti Turns NeNe's Bridesmaids to Brides

A Waste of a Good Mirror

Getting a Nice Guy for Rachel Uchitel

Breaking 'Matchmaker' History

Two Millionaires That Shouldn't Be Single

The Critical Dick Goes Home Alone

A Dorky Doc and a Hopeless Romantic

Carson Kressley, the Millionaire Whisperer

Patti's Vlog: Everyone Gets a Valentine!

Patti's Vlog: Patti's the Love Doctor

Patti's Vlog: Stefan Richter Tried to Date Patti!

A Bashful Beauty and a Not-So-Golden Oldie

A Shallow Old Dog and a Sweet River Rat

What Rosie Wants and a Gay Hugh Hefner

Great Expectations and the Running Man

Courtney Kerr and a Swedish Peacock

Sarcastic Cheban and a 'Man-diego' Bachelor

Sweetheart Swayze and a Virtual Phantom

Patti's Biggest, Most Tempting Mixer Yet

A Red-Hot Night for the Millionaires

Time for Some Spice: The Ginger Mixer!

Gaynor Gets the Girl (So Does Allison!)

Adam Gaynor Wins, Allison Baver Skates By

Patti Says Leave Boss at the Business

Chef K Wins One for the Lesbian Team

Mitch Berger, NFL Peter Pan, Grows Up

Johnny Out Sweets Yigit

Sweet Yigit Gets No Sugar on His Date

Just Robin Being Robin

Bye-Bye Bradley, Hello Kitty

The Rules According to Aimee

Matt "The Candy Man" Riviera

Time for Patti to Give Me a Raise

Skeet Shooting is a Bad Date Idea

Let the Man Be the Man on a Date

Irv's Nerve

Patti's Favorite Episode

My Favorite Client Ever

Robin Kassner Gets Serious

Patti shares the scoop on Robin Kassner's transformation and Bradley's failure to change.

Read Patti's full transcript after the jump:

Bradley's a lawyer and doctor who lives in an apartment in Brentwood; he has money, but he doesn't spend it on anything. He loves to talk about himself, and the ridiculous list of what he wants in a woman. He previously dated a client of mine named Stephanie, and he totally blew it.

Robin’s a previous client of mine, who on her last date got drunk, had sex too soon, and did all the wrong things. She went for the hunky plumber instead of a great cop, which was her downfall. She owns her own PR firm in New York City. She has bleached blonde hair, loves Hello Kitty, and everything she owns is pink. She’s back for one more chance at love.I met Bradley at his apartment. I’m worried that one of the reasons he’s blown it in the past is that he needs to spend a little cash on the girl, so I gave him a test, which is to by a girl something worth $500 at Tiffany’s. I met Robin at my favorite restaurant, Baja Cantina. Robin knows that she screwed up last time, and now wants to change. She’s ready for marriage and a baby. She also agrees to a full-on makeover, because the bleach needs to go. For Robin, I’m looking for sweet, career-minded guys that can cherish her, and for Bradley, I’m looking for the funny girls who can help get the attention away from himself, and put the focus back on the girl.

I needed to make sure Robin was on her best behavior, so I put a listening device in her ear, so she could listen to me if she got off track. My test for her was Anthony, the good-looking dancer. She did dance with him when he took his shirt off, but luckily, she ended up picking Joe and Dev for her mini-dates. I really liked this guy Joe for her: he was funny, he had a great personality, but for her master date, she chose Dev. Bradley started off by putting these girls to sleep, basically. After a quick chat with Destin and Rachel, he was able to talk to the girls and get to know them. He chose Nicole and Ester; for his master date, he chose Nicole.

For the first time ever, we had someone not show up for a date. No one could find Dev. We decided that since she did like Joe, that he could come to the rescue and take her on the date instead. They went on a Hollywood tour, then to dinner at the Four Seasons. Robin warmed up to him and they had great conversation, but in the end, I don’t think she went for him. Bradley took Nicole to an indoor trampoline place, which sounds like a great idea; he then took her to Primitiva for dinner, where they proceeded to talk about himself and offend her.

Robin did a good job. She’s unleashed a new side of her, which is amazing. She wants to explore her intellectual side, and see what kind of men she’s attracted to. But she and Joe didn’t go out again.

Bradley did a terrible job. He talked about himself the whole night, and instead of giving Nicole a gift, he gave her a donation, which in the end, it’s all about him again, so he’s been kicked OUT of the club.

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Making a Match: Larry Birkhead & Melyssa Ford

Find out what Patti really thought about sexy Melyssa and shy guy Larry's dates.

This week I got to meet one of the sweetest guys in the world, Larry Birkhead: the boy from Kentucky. There’s just one problem: he hasn’t dated in like a decade. This guy needs practice. I mean, he’s drop dead gorgeous and he can’t do anything. I can send him out into the world and the world of a mixer and a date, but he could botch it. Candace and I will give him some mock dating experience and I will pick his date for him. The first time he’ll meet her will be when they go out for the first time. No chance for him to get nervous, and more importantly, no time for the girl to look him up and see who he is. He can stand on his own two feet and just be himself, not Anna Nicole’s ex.

He can stand on his own two feet and just be himself, not Anna Nicole’s ex.

My other client this week is drop dead gorgeous: Melyssa Ford. She’s the star of Blood Sweat and Heels, she used to be in a bunch of music videos, and she was nicknamed the "Video Vixen". I know it’s hard to turn off the beauty and the booty, so I bring her to doctor Pat Allen. Doctor Pat and I have worked together for years. Doctor Pat told Melyssa that she should be leading with her brain. Melyssa can be sexy no matter what: but can she look for the guy who’s interested in what she has to say, not what she looks like?

So I’m doing something new: I get Candace and David to bring a bunch of good appropriate men and women to the mixer. I just want a handful of guys for Melyssa, and a handful of girls for Larry. I introduce the best ones to Melyssa for her to choose from, and I’ll pick the best girl to set up Larry with on a blind date. Melyssa picks Jay. Jay listened to the conversation, and remembered Melyssa liked bowling and cigars. And he took her on a perfect, fun, get-to-know-you date. Meanwhile, Larry met up with his date at Universal Studios. He had a private tour set up, and he and Michelle met for the first time. They had a blast. She knew who he was, but they got past that and they got to know each other. And he took her for dinner and even got a kiss at the end.

So in the end, I’m so happy that both Larry and Melyssa got to learn something. Larry got to know he can be himself and there’s no need to be shy, and she knows (Melyssa) that there are guys out there who can look past her booty and see the great girl underneath.

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