Cast Blog: #MATCHMAKER

Carson Kressley, the Millionaire Whisperer

Making a Match: Crashing Chilli's Date!

Making a Match: Larry Birkhead & Melyssa Ford

Patti Turns NeNe's Bridesmaids to Brides

A Waste of a Good Mirror

Getting a Nice Guy for Rachel Uchitel

Breaking 'Matchmaker' History

Two Millionaires That Shouldn't Be Single

The Critical Dick Goes Home Alone

A Dorky Doc and a Hopeless Romantic

Patti's Vlog: Everyone Gets a Valentine!

Patti's Vlog: Patti's the Love Doctor

Patti's Vlog: Stefan Richter Tried to Date Patti!

A Bashful Beauty and a Not-So-Golden Oldie

A Shallow Old Dog and a Sweet River Rat

What Rosie Wants and a Gay Hugh Hefner

Great Expectations and the Running Man

Courtney Kerr and a Swedish Peacock

Sarcastic Cheban and a 'Man-diego' Bachelor

Sweetheart Swayze and a Virtual Phantom

Patti's Biggest, Most Tempting Mixer Yet

A Red-Hot Night for the Millionaires

Time for Some Spice: The Ginger Mixer!

Gaynor Gets the Girl (So Does Allison!)

Adam Gaynor Wins, Allison Baver Skates By

Patti Says Leave Boss at the Business

Chef K Wins One for the Lesbian Team

Mitch Berger, NFL Peter Pan, Grows Up

Johnny Out Sweets Yigit

Sweet Yigit Gets No Sugar on His Date

Just Robin Being Robin

Bye-Bye Bradley, Hello Kitty

Robin Kassner Gets Serious

The Rules According to Aimee

Matt "The Candy Man" Riviera

Time for Patti to Give Me a Raise

Skeet Shooting is a Bad Date Idea

Let the Man Be the Man on a Date

Irv's Nerve

Patti's Favorite Episode

My Favorite Client Ever

Carson Kressley, the Millionaire Whisperer

Patti dishes on Carson Kressley helping her spoiled client get real and their wild recruitment session. 

Read Patti's full transcript after the jump!

My first millionaire is Ian Bernardo, a spoiled trust fund baby who has 80 million dollars coming his way. He’s trying to find a man to settle down with, but he’s so immature and childish with me that it’s no wonder he can’t find the one. I’m at my wit’s end with this Ian, so I have my old friend Carson Kressley come to have a heart to heart with him. When Ian lowers his guard a bit with Carson, he’s actually a nice guy and not a spoiled brat. I just hope I can get Ian to calm down and be himself with any of the guys I set him up with.

My other millionaire is Jeff Ogden, a former NFL wide receiver who’s tall, handsome and the owner of a successful gym. Where was he when I was single? Well, his problem is simple. Jeff dives head first into relationships, even been married twice -- once for a month, and once for a day. He’s a cliff diver. He doesn’t look before he leaps. I need to teach him that instead of diving headlong into marriage, he needs to ride the long wave of a relationship and get to know the girl and only go the distance if she’s right for him.

Recruiting for these two was a blast.  Carson stuck around to help me and my assistants, find hot gay guys who won’t take any of Ian’s bulls-- and will force him to grow up. For my NFLer Jeff, we found a whole bunch of sporty intelligent girls that are mature enough to handle a long term relationship if it’s right for him.

At the mixer, Ian is his usual spoiled trust fun baby self, but one of his mini-dates Phillip actually gives him sh-- back. And Ian picks him for his master date -- go figure! I think under Ian’s baby-ish exterior, he actually wants a guy who will keep him in check.

Meanwhile Jeff for his master date picks Melanie, who is a former master date, at a previous mixer. Melanie is great for Jeff because she’s very grounded and doesn’t want to jump headlong into a relationship without getting to know him first.

Jeff might have taken my ride the wave metaphor a little too literally as he took Melanie surfing. But Melanie enjoyed it. Different strokes for different folks.  Hopefully they’ll ride the wave all the way to marriage.

Ian took Phillip to a trapeze course which you have to see to believe. Somehow Phillip not only tolerated Ian, but he actually wants to see him again. That is crazy. I think Ian like to test people and Phillip was okay with that. Maybe he likes to be submissive. He held his own. So maybe they’re a match.

Am I best at what I do or what? I just wish I hadn’t agreed to give Ian a hug, I don’t want him to get a big head or anything.

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Making a Match: Larry Birkhead & Melyssa Ford

Find out what Patti really thought about sexy Melyssa and shy guy Larry's dates.

This week I got to meet one of the sweetest guys in the world, Larry Birkhead: the boy from Kentucky. There’s just one problem: he hasn’t dated in like a decade. This guy needs practice. I mean, he’s drop dead gorgeous and he can’t do anything. I can send him out into the world and the world of a mixer and a date, but he could botch it. Candace and I will give him some mock dating experience and I will pick his date for him. The first time he’ll meet her will be when they go out for the first time. No chance for him to get nervous, and more importantly, no time for the girl to look him up and see who he is. He can stand on his own two feet and just be himself, not Anna Nicole’s ex.

He can stand on his own two feet and just be himself, not Anna Nicole’s ex.

My other client this week is drop dead gorgeous: Melyssa Ford. She’s the star of Blood Sweat and Heels, she used to be in a bunch of music videos, and she was nicknamed the "Video Vixen". I know it’s hard to turn off the beauty and the booty, so I bring her to doctor Pat Allen. Doctor Pat and I have worked together for years. Doctor Pat told Melyssa that she should be leading with her brain. Melyssa can be sexy no matter what: but can she look for the guy who’s interested in what she has to say, not what she looks like?

So I’m doing something new: I get Candace and David to bring a bunch of good appropriate men and women to the mixer. I just want a handful of guys for Melyssa, and a handful of girls for Larry. I introduce the best ones to Melyssa for her to choose from, and I’ll pick the best girl to set up Larry with on a blind date. Melyssa picks Jay. Jay listened to the conversation, and remembered Melyssa liked bowling and cigars. And he took her on a perfect, fun, get-to-know-you date. Meanwhile, Larry met up with his date at Universal Studios. He had a private tour set up, and he and Michelle met for the first time. They had a blast. She knew who he was, but they got past that and they got to know each other. And he took her for dinner and even got a kiss at the end.

So in the end, I’m so happy that both Larry and Melyssa got to learn something. Larry got to know he can be himself and there’s no need to be shy, and she knows (Melyssa) that there are guys out there who can look past her booty and see the great girl underneath.

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