Cast Blog: #MATCHMAKER

Patti's Vlog: Everyone Gets a Valentine!

Making a Match: Crashing Chilli's Date!

Making a Match: Larry Birkhead & Melyssa Ford

Patti Turns NeNe's Bridesmaids to Brides

A Waste of a Good Mirror

Getting a Nice Guy for Rachel Uchitel

Breaking 'Matchmaker' History

Two Millionaires That Shouldn't Be Single

The Critical Dick Goes Home Alone

A Dorky Doc and a Hopeless Romantic

Carson Kressley, the Millionaire Whisperer

Patti's Vlog: Patti's the Love Doctor

Patti's Vlog: Stefan Richter Tried to Date Patti!

A Bashful Beauty and a Not-So-Golden Oldie

A Shallow Old Dog and a Sweet River Rat

What Rosie Wants and a Gay Hugh Hefner

Great Expectations and the Running Man

Courtney Kerr and a Swedish Peacock

Sarcastic Cheban and a 'Man-diego' Bachelor

Sweetheart Swayze and a Virtual Phantom

Patti's Biggest, Most Tempting Mixer Yet

A Red-Hot Night for the Millionaires

Time for Some Spice: The Ginger Mixer!

Gaynor Gets the Girl (So Does Allison!)

Adam Gaynor Wins, Allison Baver Skates By

Patti Says Leave Boss at the Business

Chef K Wins One for the Lesbian Team

Mitch Berger, NFL Peter Pan, Grows Up

Johnny Out Sweets Yigit

Sweet Yigit Gets No Sugar on His Date

Just Robin Being Robin

Bye-Bye Bradley, Hello Kitty

Robin Kassner Gets Serious

The Rules According to Aimee

Matt "The Candy Man" Riviera

Time for Patti to Give Me a Raise

Skeet Shooting is a Bad Date Idea

Let the Man Be the Man on a Date

Irv's Nerve

Patti's Favorite Episode

My Favorite Client Ever

Patti's Vlog: Everyone Gets a Valentine!

Patti vlogs on matching presidential Matt and country boy Adam while making sure no dater was alone on Valentine’s.

Read Patti's full transcript after the jump!

OK, this was a great week. It’s the week before Valentine’s Day, and if you’re a matchmaker this can be the best time of the year. Love is in the air and I’m helping many make it happen. I even have a great idea for the mixer this year. We’re going to make it a Red Ball, a huge great Valentine’s Day themed mixer, with all the red dresses from my friends at Rent the Runway. And best of all, nobody goes without a date -- nobody! My millionaires get to pick two girls and for the girls who don’t get picked, I have guys for them to mingle with. Patti saves Valentine’s Day.

Ok back to the beginning, my two young clients this week are Matt Brooks and Adam Winters. Matt is handsome, has an internet marketing company, oh, and he looks exactly like a young Barack Obama. The President is in. So his problem isn’t that he can’t find a girl, his problem is he’s always in a new relationship. I’ve seen this before, serial monogamy. He’s afraid to be alone so he’s always in the relationship, but he doesn’t know how to pick the one. He jumps right in. And then he finds he hadn’t chosen right, and he breaks up. This is ridiculous. This could go on for years. It’s got to stop.


Serial monogamists, once they know what their problem is -- they have to go slow, they have to get to know the girl. They can’t just go with instinct because their instincts are off. They have to carefully select someone and then cool their jets while they’re really evaluating if they’re the right person them. I can help because I’m handpicking appropriate girls for Mr. Matt. So if he follows my advice and takes it slow and gets to know her, he find he can get the girl of his dreams, who he can really connect and communicate with. He has a chance of a lasting relationship.

Meanwhile, my other client is a young Southern boy from Tennessee. I call him “the Beverly Hillbilly” because like on the TV show, he’s just picked up and moved to Beverly Hills. Well, he made a lot of money in green transportation. He’s a smart kid, Adam. The problem is he isn’t sure what he wants. He made his money out in LA, the big city, but his heart is back in Tennessee. So he needs a modern city girl who also has one foot planted in the country.



Adam doesn’t believe me, but that kind of girl does exist out here. You just have to find them. He’s come to the right place. He just has to be serious for a minute and show them who he really is. He talks the big talk, like I want a woman to cook for me. I think basically he’s full of crap with that. He’s really a sweetheart inside. So we’ll see which Adam shows up at the mixer.

So we throw a big Red Ball, and it’s just beautiful. My assistant David decorated it, and it looks great. And all the girls are in their Rent the Runway dresses, it’s fantastic. Instead of mini dates, we have mini dances! I even invited my boyfriend David to come and he and I have a slow dance on the dance floor.

Matt does a really good job. I can see him out there really trying to get under the hood of the car and get to know the girls. In the end, he picks a beautiful girl named Emily, who was my favorite for him. They’re both smart and young, and really have a great connection.

Adam picks a really great girl, Kate. She doesn’t fall for his Southern stupid bulls---. She gets right down to his personality and he is smitten. And you know what? On the inside, she’s just as country as she is. Go figure! Patti wins again!

At the end of the mixer, as we promised, all the girls who weren’t picked get to mingle with all the single guys my staff and I invited. Everyone dances the night away. We had a great time and my millionaires ended up with their great dates.

Matt pulled out all the stops and he takes Emily to a chocolate factory and they make their own chocolates. He then has a beautiful dinner set up right in their Valentine’s Day candy showroom and I know they kissed at the end. They are doing great. I really Matt is setting this up for success. He’s not in it just to be dating, but to find someone that he can communicate with. I see them going very far with this one.

Adam almost blew it with the date. He took her to the zoo for a tour of the mating habits of wild animals. And you know what? She loved it. Maybe it’s not for me, but these two country bumpkins had a great time. Either way, he planned right and had flowers and a great romantic dinner. The two really got along great. Adam got a kiss as well and they’re going out again!

So two matches this week. What does that mean? One piece of advice: don’t f--- with a matchmaker around Valentine’s Day.   

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Making a Match: Larry Birkhead & Melyssa Ford

Find out what Patti really thought about sexy Melyssa and shy guy Larry's dates.

This week I got to meet one of the sweetest guys in the world, Larry Birkhead: the boy from Kentucky. There’s just one problem: he hasn’t dated in like a decade. This guy needs practice. I mean, he’s drop dead gorgeous and he can’t do anything. I can send him out into the world and the world of a mixer and a date, but he could botch it. Candace and I will give him some mock dating experience and I will pick his date for him. The first time he’ll meet her will be when they go out for the first time. No chance for him to get nervous, and more importantly, no time for the girl to look him up and see who he is. He can stand on his own two feet and just be himself, not Anna Nicole’s ex.

He can stand on his own two feet and just be himself, not Anna Nicole’s ex.

My other client this week is drop dead gorgeous: Melyssa Ford. She’s the star of Blood Sweat and Heels, she used to be in a bunch of music videos, and she was nicknamed the "Video Vixen". I know it’s hard to turn off the beauty and the booty, so I bring her to doctor Pat Allen. Doctor Pat and I have worked together for years. Doctor Pat told Melyssa that she should be leading with her brain. Melyssa can be sexy no matter what: but can she look for the guy who’s interested in what she has to say, not what she looks like?

So I’m doing something new: I get Candace and David to bring a bunch of good appropriate men and women to the mixer. I just want a handful of guys for Melyssa, and a handful of girls for Larry. I introduce the best ones to Melyssa for her to choose from, and I’ll pick the best girl to set up Larry with on a blind date. Melyssa picks Jay. Jay listened to the conversation, and remembered Melyssa liked bowling and cigars. And he took her on a perfect, fun, get-to-know-you date. Meanwhile, Larry met up with his date at Universal Studios. He had a private tour set up, and he and Michelle met for the first time. They had a blast. She knew who he was, but they got past that and they got to know each other. And he took her for dinner and even got a kiss at the end.

So in the end, I’m so happy that both Larry and Melyssa got to learn something. Larry got to know he can be himself and there’s no need to be shy, and she knows (Melyssa) that there are guys out there who can look past her booty and see the great girl underneath.

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