Patti's Vlog: Everyone Gets a Valentine!

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Chef K Wins One for the Lesbian Team

Mitch Berger, NFL Peter Pan, Grows Up

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Patti's Favorite Episode

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Patti's Vlog: Everyone Gets a Valentine!

Patti vlogs on matching presidential Matt and country boy Adam while making sure no dater was alone on Valentine’s.

Read Patti's full transcript after the jump!

OK, this was a great week. It’s the week before Valentine’s Day, and if you’re a matchmaker this can be the best time of the year. Love is in the air and I’m helping many make it happen. I even have a great idea for the mixer this year. We’re going to make it a Red Ball, a huge great Valentine’s Day themed mixer, with all the red dresses from my friends at Rent the Runway. And best of all, nobody goes without a date -- nobody! My millionaires get to pick two girls and for the girls who don’t get picked, I have guys for them to mingle with. Patti saves Valentine’s Day.

Ok back to the beginning, my two young clients this week are Matt Brooks and Adam Winters. Matt is handsome, has an internet marketing company, oh, and he looks exactly like a young Barack Obama. The President is in. So his problem isn’t that he can’t find a girl, his problem is he’s always in a new relationship. I’ve seen this before, serial monogamy. He’s afraid to be alone so he’s always in the relationship, but he doesn’t know how to pick the one. He jumps right in. And then he finds he hadn’t chosen right, and he breaks up. This is ridiculous. This could go on for years. It’s got to stop.

Serial monogamists, once they know what their problem is -- they have to go slow, they have to get to know the girl. They can’t just go with instinct because their instincts are off. They have to carefully select someone and then cool their jets while they’re really evaluating if they’re the right person them. I can help because I’m handpicking appropriate girls for Mr. Matt. So if he follows my advice and takes it slow and gets to know her, he find he can get the girl of his dreams, who he can really connect and communicate with. He has a chance of a lasting relationship.

Meanwhile, my other client is a young Southern boy from Tennessee. I call him “the Beverly Hillbilly” because like on the TV show, he’s just picked up and moved to Beverly Hills. Well, he made a lot of money in green transportation. He’s a smart kid, Adam. The problem is he isn’t sure what he wants. He made his money out in LA, the big city, but his heart is back in Tennessee. So he needs a modern city girl who also has one foot planted in the country.

Adam doesn’t believe me, but that kind of girl does exist out here. You just have to find them. He’s come to the right place. He just has to be serious for a minute and show them who he really is. He talks the big talk, like I want a woman to cook for me. I think basically he’s full of crap with that. He’s really a sweetheart inside. So we’ll see which Adam shows up at the mixer.

So we throw a big Red Ball, and it’s just beautiful. My assistant David decorated it, and it looks great. And all the girls are in their Rent the Runway dresses, it’s fantastic. Instead of mini dates, we have mini dances! I even invited my boyfriend David to come and he and I have a slow dance on the dance floor.

Matt does a really good job. I can see him out there really trying to get under the hood of the car and get to know the girls. In the end, he picks a beautiful girl named Emily, who was my favorite for him. They’re both smart and young, and really have a great connection.

Adam picks a really great girl, Kate. She doesn’t fall for his Southern stupid bulls---. She gets right down to his personality and he is smitten. And you know what? On the inside, she’s just as country as she is. Go figure! Patti wins again!

At the end of the mixer, as we promised, all the girls who weren’t picked get to mingle with all the single guys my staff and I invited. Everyone dances the night away. We had a great time and my millionaires ended up with their great dates.

Matt pulled out all the stops and he takes Emily to a chocolate factory and they make their own chocolates. He then has a beautiful dinner set up right in their Valentine’s Day candy showroom and I know they kissed at the end. They are doing great. I really Matt is setting this up for success. He’s not in it just to be dating, but to find someone that he can communicate with. I see them going very far with this one.

Adam almost blew it with the date. He took her to the zoo for a tour of the mating habits of wild animals. And you know what? She loved it. Maybe it’s not for me, but these two country bumpkins had a great time. Either way, he planned right and had flowers and a great romantic dinner. The two really got along great. Adam got a kiss as well and they’re going out again!

So two matches this week. What does that mean? One piece of advice: don’t f--- with a matchmaker around Valentine’s Day.   

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Breaking 'Matchmaker' History

Patti can't believe "Vegas" Dave walked out on her mixer -- he couldn’t get a quality girl in a million years.

Read Patti's full transcript after the jump!

Okay, this was a week! Both of our clients are from Viva La Vegas! My first client is Gerry McCambridge. He’s the mentalist. He’s a headliner at Vegas, he’s been married twice -- six freakin’ kids, but the relationships don’t work out. Now he’s doing well, but he can’t seem to find the right girl. It’s easy to figure out why this guy has no time. I’ve always said if you want love, you’ve got to make time for it. We sit down and we talk about it. Gerry seems to understand and he agrees with what I’m saying. Yes, he can still do a show six nights a week, but he has to find time to spend with a new relationship. I agree to take him on if he agrees to fly is date out to Vegas to show her the town. Done deal.

My other client is a mess. He calls himself “Vegas” Dave. He looks like a little furry toad, short and fat and he claims he rotates women in and out of bed – like he could ever get a girl! Okay, this guy doesn’t look like he could rotate anything let alone his tires. And the idea that women are into him is ridiculous! But he says he wants to settle down, stop dating the cocktail waitresses.

Now there are two situations that could have been true here. One is that Dave is a nice guy underneath, and he just suffers from a little dating ADD. He can’t concentrate on a girl long enough to find love. He says he hasn’t had a relationship for more than two weeks. That’s not even a relationship. So maybe that’s the case. The other situation is that he’s full of f---ing sh-- and doesn’t want to settle down and is too insecure and too much of a loser to even get a date with one of the girls I set him up with! We’ll see which guy shows up at the mixer. But I think he’s got no game, seriously.

So it’s time for the mixer and I like to mix it up. So since they guys are both from Vegas, I make all the girls wear the standard Coco Chanel little black dress with some gorgeous jewelry from my Je T’aime jewelry collection. And everybody looks fabulous. That’s right, pay attention. I have a jewelry line. Wearing the little black dress means the guys will have to get to know the girls a little bit. They have to get under the hood of the car and check out, yes, the personality. They can’t just stay on the surface, which most guys do.

Well, Gerry the mentalist does great. He’s polite, charming, asking questions, trying to find the girls that are right for him. He’s listening, being himself, not trying to take over the conversation. He chooses two girls, Jodie and Carrie. And both are really good and appropriate girls. He ends up picking Carrie the cop. They seem to get along great. We’ll see how good they do on their date. I actually like Jodie for him a little bit better, but that’s another story for another day.

Meanwhile, “Vega Dave” with all his cockiness and his rotating women can’t even get a sentence put together. He’s in real trouble. I could let him drown, but I try to help him out and give him some advice.  It’s my job, after all, to do this. But the guy is useless. Then he has the balls to tell me he’s leaving.  No time ever in Millionaire Matchmaker history has anyone ever left the Club let alone the mixer on their own because none of the girls are good enough for toady boy. Are you f---ing kidding me?

Okay, I lost my shit that’s right. I went Millionaire Matchmaker on him. You have got to be kidding, this guy couldn’t get a date with a quality woman in a million years. And he comes to me expecting me to give it to him and then he says no. You have to just laugh sometimes. I watched "Vegas" Dave leave, and literally the girls at the mixer told me that they would never ever go on a date with him and they ‘re glad that he’s gone.
Gerry keeps his word, and flies Carrie out to Vegas and they have a wonderful time. He takes her to the spa, then to a nice dinner, just like a gentleman should. Turns out they aren’t quite a match, no sparks. But the truth is Gerry now knows that it’s possible to carve out time in his schedule to make it happen. And I see him remarrying within a year.

With all the talk about Vegas, David, my boyfriend, and I took a chance for a weekend away and we each planned an activity for each other. We played some craps, I chose for us to make a special martini and David wanted a steak dinner at Yellowtail at the Bellagio. It was really romantic. It was incredible, with the fountains going. It was just great. It really took my mind off ---hole millionaires like “Vegas” Dave.  Almost.

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