Cast Blog: #MATCHMAKER

Sarcastic Cheban and a 'Man-diego' Bachelor

Making a Match: Patti Melts and Bravo Reunions

Making a Match: Speidi, Bad Guys & Playboy

Making a Match: The Real Perez and Sexy Sonja

Making a Match: Making Jill (and Ally) Happy

Making a Match: Crashing Chilli's Date!

Making a Match: Larry Birkhead & Melyssa Ford

Patti Turns NeNe's Bridesmaids to Brides

A Waste of a Good Mirror

Getting a Nice Guy for Rachel Uchitel

Breaking 'Matchmaker' History

Two Millionaires That Shouldn't Be Single

The Critical Dick Goes Home Alone

A Dorky Doc and a Hopeless Romantic

Carson Kressley, the Millionaire Whisperer

Patti's Vlog: Everyone Gets a Valentine!

Patti's Vlog: Patti's the Love Doctor

Patti's Vlog: Stefan Richter Tried to Date Patti!

A Bashful Beauty and a Not-So-Golden Oldie

A Shallow Old Dog and a Sweet River Rat

What Rosie Wants and a Gay Hugh Hefner

Great Expectations and the Running Man

Courtney Kerr and a Swedish Peacock

Sweetheart Swayze and a Virtual Phantom

Patti's Biggest, Most Tempting Mixer Yet

A Red-Hot Night for the Millionaires

Time for Some Spice: The Ginger Mixer!

Gaynor Gets the Girl (So Does Allison!)

Adam Gaynor Wins, Allison Baver Skates By

Patti Says Leave Boss at the Business

Chef K Wins One for the Lesbian Team

Mitch Berger, NFL Peter Pan, Grows Up

Johnny Out Sweets Yigit

Sweet Yigit Gets No Sugar on His Date

Just Robin Being Robin

Bye-Bye Bradley, Hello Kitty

Robin Kassner Gets Serious

The Rules According to Aimee

Matt "The Candy Man" Riviera

Time for Patti to Give Me a Raise

Skeet Shooting is a Bad Date Idea

Sarcastic Cheban and a 'Man-diego' Bachelor

Patti discusses matching know-it-all Jonathan Cheban and Eric Berman, who's always looking for the next best girl.

Read Patti's full transcript after the jump:

My first client this week is my friend, Jonathan Cheban, he does PR and has a bunch of companies he invests in, but most people know him as Kim Kardashian's best friend. Since he loves fashion, loves looking good, I thought, this is the perfect time in his life for me to fix him up.  Now's my chance.

Of course, I can always use the opportunity to take Jonathan down a notch. He's sarcastic and always knows it all. Well, if he knew it all, he'd have a long term girlfriend or relationship by now.

Johnathan came in and we talked it out. I don't know if I can keep him from being sarcastic and know-it-all, but maybe I can keep him quiet long enough to meet a girl who might like him for him.

My other client was from 'Man-diego,' Eric Berman. He has the typical problem I see when a guy has money and think's he's the big fish in a little pond. He's got bigger, better deal syndrome. Everyone he dates he thinks there's someone better right around the corner.

 

Because Jonathan likes a high class life style, and I wanted to spruce Eric up, me and my new team decided to throw a black tie mixer at The Marq in Hollywood. This was great. The guys were in black, my team was in tuxes and dresses, and for the girls, we got my friends at Rent the Runway to overnight us a bunch of long formal dresses. And the mixer was fabulous.

I also did a mixer a little differently this time. I didn't want those guys holding court like usual, so I had them meet the girls one on one and make their decisions for a master date afterword. I think it worked well, they're both so used to talking to crowds of women this made them stop and think. And it worked really well.

Jonathan took his date to Aventine in LA, a hot spot restaurant; cleared it out and they got to know each other and even found out she is studying to be a forensics expert. I'm glad he didn't just talk through the whole thing.

Eric had a great date with Ashley, who's also from San Diego. They went to Del Mar race track, met his horse, watched the races before going to a beautiful dinner at a restaurant he is an investor in. So the good news is he didn't bigger, better deal it; he didn't look at other women. But he also didn't go in for the big kiss. I think he could have turned this around with Ashley if he had gone in for the big kiss. I wanted him to do it and I know next time he'll seal the deal. It's not sex it's kissing and a girl needs to feel it if she's gonna like you.

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Making a Match: The Real Perez and Sexy Sonja

Patti strips Mario Lavandeira of his Perez Hilton persona and takes Sonja Morgan's love life into her own hands with a secret weapon.

Season 8 of The Millionaire Matchmaker is one of the most dramatic ever. This time around, Patti Stanger is helping plenty of unlikely clients find love, from Larry Birkhead and 'Chili' Thomas to Stephanie Pratt.

Each week, we're asking Patti to weigh in on every episode in her exclusive vlog. She'll tackle the good (crashing Chilli's date), the bad (Sonja's fast-burning match Thomas)—and the hilarious (kicking Jill Zarin out!). This week, she talks about setting up RHONY's own Sonja Morgan, Perez Hilton, and more. Check out the latest episode vlog below and watch past episodes here.

 So this week I’m setting up Perez Hilton. I met Sonja Morgan and she’s from The Real Housewives of New York City. She’s got a high profile divorce from American royalty, aka J.P. Morgan. So Sonja wants a down to earth, really strong guy with money who can travel at a moment’s notice to New York. And Perez wants the ultimate husband. So this is a big deal. And because his reputation is so bad, I gotta find guys who will date him.

 We get down to Sonja’s guys and there’s Thomas and Kent, which end up being the last two guys that I really like. Thomas is super sexy and hot, a little overt, too much wanting to get into her pants. And then there’s Kent who’s so steady, he’s got four kids, he’s really rich, and more importantly, he’s kind of a slow burn -- whereas Thomas is a fast burn. 

 Now, we grab David and we go through the guys for Perez. It’s a blind date. So Perez and his date meet for the first time. I knew this was going to happen, everybody in the gay community, it’s such a small town, and everyong knows eachother. I was like aw, sh--. But, the good thing about it, Perez had a I really good time. I think that after Greg accepted Perez and didn’t make him feel bad about his past, and Perez realized that Greg was a really nice guy, they became friends. It wasn’t a love match, but his confidence soared. I think this was a real learning lesson.

Perez wants the ultimate husband. So this is a big deal. And because his reputation is so bad, I gotta find guys who will date him.

 Sonja chooses Thomas at the mixer and I was kinda bummed because I knew that Thomas was all sex and all talk no action. I had something else up my sleeve. Just to protect myself. So the secret weapon I had was Rocco Dispirito. Rocco Dispirito is a good friend of mine. He just had a new cookbook out and I thought, ‘What a great way to get to know someone if you cook with them!’ So me and Rocco were on a date, and Sonja and Thomas were on a date. And before I knew it, they were flirting and touching and kissing, and I was like, ‘Oh sh--, oh sh--.’ I decided to pull a switch.

 So I pull Kent in and Sonja’s in shock because she didn’t know she was getting two dates and not just one. And of course, Sonja being the flirt and Sagittarius that she is, she just rose to the occasion. Before long, they’re on a date and Thomas is out. It was romance dujour!