Cast Blog: #MATCHMAKER

Sarcastic Cheban and a 'Man-diego' Bachelor

Making a Match: Patti Melts and Bravo Reunions

Making a Match: Speidi, Bad Guys & Playboy

Making a Match: The Real Perez and Sexy Sonja

Making a Match: Making Jill (and Ally) Happy

Making a Match: Crashing Chilli's Date!

Making a Match: Larry Birkhead & Melyssa Ford

Patti Turns NeNe's Bridesmaids to Brides

A Waste of a Good Mirror

Getting a Nice Guy for Rachel Uchitel

Breaking 'Matchmaker' History

Two Millionaires That Shouldn't Be Single

The Critical Dick Goes Home Alone

A Dorky Doc and a Hopeless Romantic

Carson Kressley, the Millionaire Whisperer

Patti's Vlog: Everyone Gets a Valentine!

Patti's Vlog: Patti's the Love Doctor

Patti's Vlog: Stefan Richter Tried to Date Patti!

A Bashful Beauty and a Not-So-Golden Oldie

A Shallow Old Dog and a Sweet River Rat

What Rosie Wants and a Gay Hugh Hefner

Great Expectations and the Running Man

Courtney Kerr and a Swedish Peacock

Sweetheart Swayze and a Virtual Phantom

Patti's Biggest, Most Tempting Mixer Yet

A Red-Hot Night for the Millionaires

Time for Some Spice: The Ginger Mixer!

Gaynor Gets the Girl (So Does Allison!)

Adam Gaynor Wins, Allison Baver Skates By

Patti Says Leave Boss at the Business

Chef K Wins One for the Lesbian Team

Mitch Berger, NFL Peter Pan, Grows Up

Johnny Out Sweets Yigit

Sweet Yigit Gets No Sugar on His Date

Just Robin Being Robin

Bye-Bye Bradley, Hello Kitty

Robin Kassner Gets Serious

The Rules According to Aimee

Matt "The Candy Man" Riviera

Time for Patti to Give Me a Raise

Skeet Shooting is a Bad Date Idea

Sarcastic Cheban and a 'Man-diego' Bachelor

Patti discusses matching know-it-all Jonathan Cheban and Eric Berman, who's always looking for the next best girl.

Read Patti's full transcript after the jump:

My first client this week is my friend, Jonathan Cheban, he does PR and has a bunch of companies he invests in, but most people know him as Kim Kardashian's best friend. Since he loves fashion, loves looking good, I thought, this is the perfect time in his life for me to fix him up.  Now's my chance.

Of course, I can always use the opportunity to take Jonathan down a notch. He's sarcastic and always knows it all. Well, if he knew it all, he'd have a long term girlfriend or relationship by now.

Johnathan came in and we talked it out. I don't know if I can keep him from being sarcastic and know-it-all, but maybe I can keep him quiet long enough to meet a girl who might like him for him.

My other client was from 'Man-diego,' Eric Berman. He has the typical problem I see when a guy has money and think's he's the big fish in a little pond. He's got bigger, better deal syndrome. Everyone he dates he thinks there's someone better right around the corner.

 

Because Jonathan likes a high class life style, and I wanted to spruce Eric up, me and my new team decided to throw a black tie mixer at The Marq in Hollywood. This was great. The guys were in black, my team was in tuxes and dresses, and for the girls, we got my friends at Rent the Runway to overnight us a bunch of long formal dresses. And the mixer was fabulous.

I also did a mixer a little differently this time. I didn't want those guys holding court like usual, so I had them meet the girls one on one and make their decisions for a master date afterword. I think it worked well, they're both so used to talking to crowds of women this made them stop and think. And it worked really well.

Jonathan took his date to Aventine in LA, a hot spot restaurant; cleared it out and they got to know each other and even found out she is studying to be a forensics expert. I'm glad he didn't just talk through the whole thing.

Eric had a great date with Ashley, who's also from San Diego. They went to Del Mar race track, met his horse, watched the races before going to a beautiful dinner at a restaurant he is an investor in. So the good news is he didn't bigger, better deal it; he didn't look at other women. But he also didn't go in for the big kiss. I think he could have turned this around with Ashley if he had gone in for the big kiss. I wanted him to do it and I know next time he'll seal the deal. It's not sex it's kissing and a girl needs to feel it if she's gonna like you.

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Making a Match: Crashing Chilli's Date!

Patti dishes on pulling the surprise switch on Chilli's master date and getting NFL Pro Jeff Ogden to switch up his priorities.

Season 8 of The Millionaire Matchmaker is one of the most dramatic ever. This time around, Patti Stanger is helping plenty of unlikely clients find love, from Anna Nicole Smith's husband Larry Birkhead and Perez Hilton to Jill Zarin's daughter Ally.
Each week, we're asking Patti to weigh in on every episode in her exclusive vlog. She'll tackle the good (nixing Melyssa Ford's vix), the bad (Chilli's date gone wrong)—and the hilarious (remember when Larry Birkhead hit on Patti?!).

This week, she talks about setting up R&B icon Chilli, NFL player Jeff Ogden, and more. Check out the latest episode vlog below and watch past episodes here.

Read the full transcription below: 

This week was really good. Chilli from TLC came in, you know 'Waterfalls,' 'Don’t Want no Scrubs,' like I say that to all of my clients. Chilli has dated a bunch of people in the entertainment industry but that really hasn’t worked for her. She’s gorgeous, talented, smart, hilarious. I told her I could set her up but I want her to find a real guy, not someone from the entertainment industry.

My other client this week (who’s coming back from last year) is NFL player Jeff Ogden. He's a really good looking guy. He comes in, he’s single again, he’s ready to go deep and get really serious. He keeps picking the wrong girls. So I get NBA legend John Salley to talk to him. They’ve seen so many crazy things in the pro sports leagues. Jeff just wants a regular girl that he can trust. Salley sets him straight, and we’re off to the mixer!

I usually don’t go along on the date, but today I am. I'm spying on them! What an ---hole!

Candace and David, my assistants, have chosen appropriate daters for each of the people. We put them in the party, then I go around and get under the hood, figure out who’s right, who’s wrong. It’s kind of like recruiting on the spot. This works really, really well. So I end up picking Sebastian and Brian and a lawyer, Felix to meet Chilli. As I thought, she goes for Brian the stunt car driver.

Meanwhile, Jeff gets to meet Jelene and Jessica. Jeff takes Jelene out to meet some kids at the Boys & Girls Club. It’s nonprofit and they get to play some football there. Then he arranges for her to get a professional massage and soak at the spa. Not bad for Jeff.

Meanwhile, Chilli and Brian head out onto their date -- and I’m there, too. I usually don’t go along on the date, but today I am. I’m spying on them! What an a--hole! He told Candace and David that he wanted kids and he told me that he wanted kids! I march over there and Brian’s out. And guess who I’ve got waiting in the wings? My favorite choice: Felix! Fun Felix. Felix takes her out to the Saddle Ranch restaurant. They play pool, they get on the bull and they have a great time.

In the end, sometimes the client doesn’t know what’s best for them. But I always do!

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