Before I get into the episode I want take a quick poll. Ladies: Would you rather have a man tell you the truth from the very beginning, before you have had sex? The truth about what his feelings are for you, where he is mentally, and what you can expect from the relationship. Or would you rather have a man tell you he loves you; he wants a family, he wants to be married, and commitment is his number one value, and then you find out later it is all lies and he cheated with every woman he could. Which one would you want?
Most women don't value the truth until they are tired of being lied to. I've been the guy that lied and cheated a very long time ago. After I saw the tears and the pain I had caused, I decided I would never be that man again. A man does not need a woman first, he needs God first. Once he has a strong relationship with God, God will give him the strength to fight all the temptations of the world, and it still will be a challenge. There is nothing perfect but God himself.
Now on to what happened on this week's episode. I had a town hall meeting at the Buckhead Bottle Bar with men from all ages and ethnicity's talking candidly about how they, as men, really feel about women and relationships. I did this so I could give women the unique opportunity to be the so called "fly on the wall" and give them chance to hear what men really think. And I really wanted them to hear it just like this, raw with no filter. I feel like women need to hear things from a man's perspective especially if we are telling the truth, even if they don't like it. Women talk to their girl friends about their feelings and relationships. Men naturally keep it all in. I'm not saying this is all men, but a good majority of them.
Vawn makes no sense..."fall in respect"? What does that even mean? How about you go back to school and try to learn basic grammer. Maybe when you can speak proper English, other people will be able to understand you.
Vawn, you're an idiot if you think you know what women want because if you did, you would respect yourself as a man to take time to get to know a woman with her clothes first.
Ok Vawn there is something about you that makes you very interesting but that's it. I really think you are a really big jerk but who am I to judge I really feel like you took advantage of Africa anyone watching this show can see that she is really feeling you but like you said you are being honest. I really think you shouldn't cross the line with her but hey she probably had a good man that she passed up to get with you.
Old Man Vawn I can promise you that nobody with any kind of sense, respect for women, or morals are buying your crappy degrading of women book! I do have a few thoughts and questions though... you do know the show is called The New Atlanta right? I just think you're pretty old and have a son, what the hell are you doing on this show? You make yourself look stupid dude! Africa is a bit up there in age too, but clearly she is on the show to help her career which is good with me :) As far as you "not dating Africa" she needs to realize sooner than later that you make her look stupid, and she's far from it, just really want her to keep it movin because you are only bringing her down! Now Alex well she deserves to be disrespected by you! ( you're old enough to be her daddy aren't you?) Better watch her though because the words coming out of her mouth in the bathroom with Africa are relationship words! They are keep your hands off my man words! But in her blog she says she knows your game... I'm not sure who you or her are trying to fool? Clearly you've already went there with Alex and it shows boo!!! You definitely should've never been casted on this show! If you didn't try being a player and a whore you wouldn't have a story line! You may be wandering if I don't care for you then why would I read your blog right? Well I didn't lol I read the first to paragraphs and couldn't believe that you were trying to preach to anyone!! Keep GOD out of your drama player crap you're trying to spit to everyone! Grow up dude! Be a role model for your son, instead of teaching him to be a whore and disrespect women!!
How is running around and having sex with every willing woman in Atlanta putting God first? Really? What Bible are you reading, oh yeah, you wrote your own. How does God feel about multiple partners? I guess because your honest with your victims it's okay in God's eyes? You are honest, but an honest dog is still a dog. The only one you're putting first is yourself.
You are really trying to back peddle to promote this book. It ain't working my Brotha. Most people can see you for who you are. Women are the biggest market for buying books and after seeing how you are in regards to relationships with women, how many women do you actually think wants to buy your book? Pleeeease!... Have several seats.
your acting like a silly high school boy. You may be a big fish in the ATL....but else where in the world your a guppy.
What we really want is to with help be able to steer far clear of completely selfish, cold-hearted losers like you.
This guy just announed to the world one day his stuff won't be worth a damm. The ladies caught in between him the very sad for them...get a HUGE HINT and keep it movin'. Seriously...he "AIN'T" the one, ever. Don't be pawn for that man named Vawn. He admitted he not emotionally available to anyone and will never be that way. Very sad to see this kind of television getting momentum....Doesn't do anything for the disease free movement at all. Just saying...
So what you're saying is you really have nothing to offer. I can get laid by someone who does have more than just the equipment lol. Real women with real brains and real talent have real emotion that drives their passion for life and those ladies need it in return. I don't think you are looking for real women though, you might have a tad bit of inadequacy issues I'm thinking. You seem to not be able to keep anyone fooled for long with your game but it works for you. It's like big fish in little pond syndrome. So I guess I am glad you are honest...next!! Lol
Shut up! You are not saying anything new. Men and women have been gone by the same explanation for cheating … “well, I was honest about my feelings, it was up to her how she wanted to feel in the relationship”. You are the same old tired player of the year. And you obviously think you’re God’s gift to women, but you’re not. What I find more attractive is a man who respects women and realizes that having quantity is not the same as having quality. If Africa has any intelligence at all, should be able to see beyond the shiny façade called Vawn.
I just don't understand while everyone is so caught up in sex in this conversation. If you are single, your partner is consenting and you use protection then there is absolutely nothing wrong with having sex. It is medically proven that is actually extends your life span and adds happiness. Where the issue lies is misdirected emotions. You should not have sex with a someone when they tell you its casual and emotionally you know you want it to be more. You lying to yourself and the person you are having sex with and setting yourself up for heartbreak. You have to know where you are in your mental space as well. So I completely agree with what Vawn is saying. There have been times when I was not in the right mental place for a relationship and I too only wanted something casual. We all need time to work on ourselves before we can work on building something with someone else. There is nothing wrong with that. Whats wrong is people rushing into relationships and marriage when they aren't really ready because it's what they think they are supposed to be doing based on societal standards. No wonder the divorce rate is 40% and the average marriage only lasts a measly 8 years. Then people want to throw in that having sex before marriage is a sin. If that is the case just about everyone I have ever known is going to burn in hell. How do your friends and family stack up in that area? We throw the bible and sin around when it's convenient, then we turn around commit sins on a daily basis and don't give it a second thought. How many times have you gone out to dinner and you ate up everything and were stuffed till the point of being sleepy and sick. Well that's gluttony if i ever saw it. But no one is hollering that people are going to hell for getting in at the all you can eat buffet. Stop judging people and start listening and absorbing new information so you too can grow mentally and emotionally.
I'm sitting here reading all these comments and laughing to myself because not one single man has commented on here. It's pretty much all women on here hollering and screaming and giving their opinion about what they think a man should and should not act like like and what he should say. Well ladies here is another man chiming in. You have no idea how men think. My brother is telling you some serious truths and it would benefit you to stop reacting and actually listen to what the man is saying. That's the problem with women. You get your emotions all caught up in everything and it effects your actions often in a bad way. Men are simple. We are so black and white with our decision making that it would blow your minds. He is not saying that a man can't be faithful, he is saying it's harder for us than it is for you. Men like to hunt and conquer and there are no emotions involved in that. We can have sex with you today and not be able to pick you out in a line up tomorrow if our life depended on it. When a man says he is not ready for a relationship, there is pretty much nothing that you are going to say or do that will make him all of a sudden decide your the one. It does not matter how amazing you are. We entered into the situation with blinders on, it's unlikely that we will take them off. When a man says he is not ready, you better believe him. Now when we are ready, we are really ready. And there will be no problem getting a man to commit when he is mentally in the space to be in a relationship. Which is also what my man said. He ain't ready now but when he is ready he will go into the situation full force, with no blinders on.
vv76 As a woman I know what you are saying. If a man tells a woman from the very beginning that he doesn't want a monogamous relationship and she still chooses to be with that man, then it's on her. I get it. However, the real deal is that many men don't tell women that when they get with them. They will tell women what they want to hear or lead them on to make them think that they want to be with them. And there are no excuses for being disrespectful when they are with a woman they they are not monogamous with. It just shows that the man is no good. Vawn didn't tell Africa from the beginning that he didn't want a monogamous relationship, she had to ask him later how he felt about the relationship before he said anything. And even if they weren't exclusive, there was nothing right about Vawn flirting in her face. No decent man would do that. So, some on you and Vawn's philosophy about how men are with women makes sense and some of it pertains to men that are dogs....not decent, quality men.
One of these days you will find a real woman who you are really into, and she will be the one being "honest" and you will not be happy! Can't wait for that episode!!! You are an As*hole!!
I agree with you that you must always be honest, and so long as you are honest, then you should be able to do what you want. I am a woman, and I have always lived my life that way, thinking so long as I'm honest, I bear no responsibility to the man because he knew what he was getting into so if he get's hurt, that's on him.
BUT, Tribble has a very good point, and I haven't really thought of it this way before, but there are many people, more women than men, who so long as you said the "right" words and did the "right" things at some point, will not hear a damn "honest" thing you have to say because you've already led them to believe that it doesn't matter what you say, your actions have shown them you want more - in these cases, you do bare the responsibility of hurting the other person, because it was your sly dog actions and words that made them believe that no matter what you say, there is a real relationship there.
So nothings quite as absolute as you make it out to be.
Vawn-You don't know the FIRST thing about GOD, If you did, you would know that he does not approve of your disgusting behavior that you think is "honest". The fact of the matter is, you can lie to yourself all you want but God know the ugly truth, not to mention that sex outside of marriage is a sin in his eyes even in this day in age. Sleep well darling!
At least you admit on screen what your character is. You should have no trouble getting women because , sadly, there are plenty of bimbos out there with morals as low as yours. As for intelligent women of character.....they will not waste their time on you. But, I DO congratulate you on your honesty.
Amen to that. There are a lot of women out there that would love to date Vawn (not me). Just because you can date multiple women Vawn, doesn't make it right. What happen to character, morals, integrity...oops, I guess that doesn't matter anymore. I do too, congratulate you on your honest.
Vawn I think you are a very attractive man, and it seems as though you are very intelligent, sophisticated, and verbal about what you like, need and want. I think it's nice to tell woman up front what your intentions are, but in the same token I think sleeping around with a truck load of different women ain't helping the situation. Is that the example you wanna set for your son? Do you want your son to be a womanizer? What if you had a little girl? Would you want a man like you treating your little girl like a disposable dish rag? Probably not. But hey it's your life, just remember this people who lay down with dogs end up with fleas.. Please don't be that dog! #teamtribble
In a way you're right. The girl knows what they're getting themselves into. But you're a smart guy who knows women. The strawberries? Those deep glances? So I'm sure you also know how OUR emotions operate. And you know that we'll hang on because we think we'll be the girl who makes you monogamous. Truth is that you'll fall for the girl who tells you to kick rocks because you'll actually respect that girl for not falling for your BS. I spit out my wine laughing, watching you because I used to fall for your kind of game. It's so transparent to me. NOW. I wish it would have been transparent before I got crushed. Yes, I had myself to blame because I KNEW. And you know we'll blame ourselves so you're free and clear. But you're not. Because at the end of the day, you still really hurt people. And you KNOW this, maaaaan!
Why would you wait right before you have sex to tell a women the "truth"? Why not when you meet her to begin with? Please by all means tell her what your feelings are, where you are mentally, and what she can expect from the relationship, on your first encounter. Then see just how many "women" want to date you after that. Before the "pre-game activities". Before she accepts your phone number or a booty call from you. How sexy would you be then? That would be the truth! I assure you, you'd make no panties wet. No real woman would waste her time! The real question is just when do you reveal yourself to these so called women. The "truth" would be to skip the preliminaries, chocolate strawberries and culinary arts of seduction reserved for a genuine courtship and get strait down to business. A real "honest" man doesn't go from being a loving man, desiring marriage, commitment and a family, to being a liar and cheater with every women he could have sex with. But a man who is a practiced liar with no loyalty or integrity would. The difference between being "honest" and a "liar" is in the framework and the context of his character. You are either an honest person or a liar period no declaimer will turn a liar into an honest man, no matter how much one lies to themselves. Most real women do value the truth otherwise you wouldn't be able to have SEX so vigorously . Truth is, if you told the truth before "dating" (not sex,which I believe you have the terms confused) very few women would be drawn to your energy. It doesn't seem that YOU know the difference between dating for sex and dating for a relationship. You mentioned that women don't want to hear men's "truths" huuummm,,,interesting that you have yet to conclude that its not that women don't like what they hear, they just don't generally like or find those types of men attractive. Believe me your looks will never outshine your values, Then you wonder why you haven't met anyone you want to settle down with. Look at the company you keep! The few women who can stomach that BS.are not women with very high standards., have no values and are as equally unattractive.
Your actions speaks volumes of who you project yourself as: A wolf in sheep's clothing. What's really disturbing is that your son will emulate this same narcissistic behavior when he grows up. Congratulations Vawn! You have just made a splendid contribution to what we refer to as the generational curse.
I don't think the policy of being honest from the beginning with a woman can be disputed, although thinking or expecting that BECAUSE you're honest about who you are that it's still acceptable or ethical to sleep around with a bunch of different women, and that somehow being honest absolves you of any responsibility in a relationship.
Furthermore, I think you need to practice what you supposedly preach when it comes to your relationship with Africa for the following reasons:
1) You'd been pursuing her quite aggressively and were all up in her face until she started paying you some attention. You've also gone back and forth claiming you were more open and ready to finding a more serious relationship, and then in the scene at this most recent episode you're claiming you can't see dedicating yourself or having sex with just one person.
2) You disrespectfully and tastelessly flirt with and pursue Alex in front of Africa (someone you also know she's also got issues with). How would you feel if she did something similar to you with a guy you were having issues with?? Are you hoping just to have some women fight over you and for attention?? Doesn't sound very honest or like you have much respect for women there when you play games like that.
3) If you believe so much in being honest and upfront, why haven't you brought up any of this to Africa?? Where was that discussion in the beginning??
He is only being half honest in this admission. The other side of it is that men like this want women to be as devoted them as if they were in a committed relation. They don't want women treating them like a fling.. not caring if your sick, making them meals, letting them crash at your home or most importantly, having sex with them with intimacy (In short, going the extra yards). If the women treated the men like a a great day or night, they'd have to leave before the morning, not ever ask for any favors, not care about the goings on in their lives and we all know that wouldn't work. Even with the best player out there. They want the women to have a intimate connection but aren't willing to reply the same so that isn't totally honest. Unless Vawn is lying to himself.
First off, you look like an idiot showing up at everything with Sun Glasses. Get over yourself! Second, you found that you were being "honest" when you came with Africa and the proceeded to flirt with Alex?? Did you tell Africa that happened? You are angry with Tribble because he called you out for your totally clueless view on women.
Whew, lots of very intense comments on this blog post! It makes me giggle how upset people get by Vawn's "philosophy", especially, because he doesn't have a patent on that s**t. He's not the first person to do it, not the first person to talk about it and not the first person to catch the backlash for it. This is old news, but for some reason women keep falling for this game. And that's all it is, a game. Here's how it works, guy meets girl. Guy makes girl feel like she's the only women in the room. Says all the right things, how beautiful, intelligent, unique she is. Just as she has fallen for it, he slips in that he doesn't believe in monogamy. She's so twitterpated and doesn't want to loose out on the guy, so whether its true or not, she's cool with that. They sleep together, go out a few times and the girl thinks maybe she might make him different, that he might change for her because she's more special then those other girls. I mean, that's what he told her right? That is, until you go to a bar with that guy and watch him flirt with another women 5 ft from you. Then all of a sudden, that cool exterior the girl thought she had melts away, but she can't be mad at him, because he was honest with her. So what happens? The girl is left just as hurt as if the guy had lied to her, because he made her feel special, but the guy gets to exit stage left with a guilt free conscience. The girl is left bitter, her confidence is shaken and she's mad at herself. So much for loving the ladies, eh Vawn?
It's a tale as old as time. Vawn is not some romance super genius, nor is he some God's gift to women. He's a player, who has found a way to get what he wants with women, while being able to walk away without feeling bad about it all. He's right, I am sure some of the women he slept with are confident enough to be comfortable with that arrangement, but I would bet, the majority were caught up in his romantic antics and were more pissed that themselves for falling for his game.
I sincerely hope Vawn finds the women that makes him want to settle down. I would be very interested to see how that influences book number two. That's a book I would buy. To those leaving comments, that are so upset, take Vawn as a life lesson and as an example of what to avoid when out at an event with your girls. No matter how special a guy makes you feel, take you time, get to know his values, his personality and make sure you really know the real guy before jumping in bed with him. Unless your just looking for good sex, then skip the romance bs all together and have some fun, lol.
The other old tale is, the PLAYER meets his match. She pulls the same crap on him, but
since men are basically Simple minded he doesn't see it. She is beautiful, confident and
makes him chase it and when he finally gets a taste he thinks he's met "The One".
SHE tells HIM I'm not looking for a "relationship" right now, only someone to have fun with
and could help my career......and then he's CRUSHED. Underneath all Vawn's cocky
"I'm honest" mantra, is an insecure man who's afraid of rejection.
Sweeteena1018 EHMakeup Very, very true! Women are totally guilty of emotional manipulation, just like men. From my experience however, its the extraordinarily hot girls that tend to pull that crap, and it's the guy's vanity and that lands him in that position. Not that women don't seek out hot guys, but I tend to notice that men with money, tend to want good arm candy. That causes them to go after the vain girls, who will inevitably be a bad match and are very good at breaking their hearts after draining their wallet. Either because they aren't interested in something serious, or because they are gold diggers. There are always the rare unicorns(that goes for both genders), but I think men in general are more vain when it comes to who they date. Whereas women (I'd say over the age of 25), tend to grow out of that kind of vanity and look for a guy based on their personality rather then their looks. I personally think Vawn is trapped by his own vanity. He wants a gorgeous women, that will magically cause him to fall in love because she's perfect. How do you expect to build a healthy, long term, loving relationship, if you are trying to coordinate the revolving door of sex partners? You're going to miss the girl who could really change your life.
Vawn you are so cheesy. How Africa slept with you after the chocolate strawberry BS last week is beyond me. Everything you did was so cliché. I can't believe she fell for it. I was laughing the whole time. I would have said are you for real??? after I was done laughing that is.
Really Vawn your not telling us (women) anything we don't already know!! We've all meet men/dogs like you!! You act like your point of view is new!! Honey that concept has been around since the creation of man.... Your not ready to settle down! Great! go have fun! FYI if your on a date with someone you probably shouldn't flirt with another woman! That is just plain tacky! You looked like a fool....
It's not hard for a good man to be committed to 1 woman. But you wouldn't know that because your hypothesis is thrown off by the crummy men who have set the example for you. Just so you know it doesn't automatically make you a good guy if you're being honest about sleeping around. It's a disrespectful act to share that level of intimacy with a woman and then share that same level of intimacy with another woman. You're actions are saying I don't respect you. I just want to have sex with you and use you to fulfill and feed my insecurities and sexual need. While your words are saying I respect you I'm not going to commit and I'm going to sleep around. At the core your actions are disrespectful! Actions always speak the truth even when words don't!
One of the things that I did like about what you said is being honest and not lie to whomever you are dating or seeing be up front this is why so many people get to serious to soon before they get to know each other, this generations only seems to look at how good someone looks and not talking or getting to know each other before the word love come into play, thatis why good conversatiion is a must you must learn to listen communicate, etc., before you start taking about how much I love you, I do not beleive in love at first sight, how can you love someone that you don't know and if you aren't ready to get into a committed relatiionship tell that person up front he or she may be looking for that commitment and if you aren't don't waste time with the wrong person.