Cast Blog: #RHOA

Jill Zarin Joins In!

Kenya: Cynthia Commanded the Runway

Phaedra: You Don't Often Come Across Hair Burglary

Cynthia: "I Pray We Can Make Peace"

Claudia: I Could Relate to Cynthia's Insecurities

Cynthia's "Non-Conversation" with NeNe

NeNe: The Pit Bull Act is Not a Good Look

Kenya: If It Looks Like a Fraud...

Phaedra: "I Moved Past This Years Ago"

Claudia: I Am Not Asking for Sympathy

GIF Recap: Saltines, Anyone?

Kenya: Why Would Apollo Try to Hurt Phaedra?

Cynthia: "My Heart Went Out to Kenya"

Phaedra: "NeNe Made a Fair Observation"

Claudia on Her Sit-Down With Porsha

GIF Recap: Pushed to the Brink

Cynthia: Porsha's THOT Comment is Too Ridiculous

Kandi: Cynthia Can't Win for Losing

Phaedra: Cynthia's Behavior was Unbecoming

Claudia on NeNe's Thirsty Comment

Don't Insult Kenya's Virtue

GIF Recap: New 'Wife, New Shade

Phaedra on Being "Super Mommy"

Kenya: I've Never Been Anyone's Whore

Cynthia: I Felt a Connection with Claudia

Kandi: I Felt Bad for Kenya

NeNe Talks Zumanity, Apollo's Shocking Reveal

Claudia on Meeting the 'Wives

GIF Recap: She's Baaack...

NeNe: "I was a Rock for Phaedra"

Cynthia on Her Friendship with Kenya

Kandi: I'll Always be Honest with Phaedra

Phaedra: "It was Apparent the Marriage was Over"

Kenya: This is My Season of Redemption

GIF Recap: Oh the Zumanity!

Housewives Then and Now: Atlanta Edition

Kandi's Post-Reunion Plans

Cynthia: "I Don't Think I Did Anything Wrong"

Tweet Recap: Reunion Part 3, Kenya vs. NeNe

Kandi: "My Mom Needs a Camera Around Her at All Times"

Lawrence: Momma Joyce Slayed the Girls

Jill Zarin Joins In!

Bethenny Frankel and Jill Zarin get real about Kim's singing career.

This week was ridiculously fabulous and I watched with Jill Zarin from my show who chimed in here and there.

STRIPALICIOUS????? So, we start the episode with an adult sleepover in which the Atlanta ladies are working the pole. I think I would have preferred to see them in a strip club. Those professional strippers were scary and looked more like mud wrestlers. Working the pole is supposed to be sexy and hot, and I think if I busted out of those moves on a date, the man would run faster than he probably normally would.

I believe it was Sheree who mentioned that she was into "trying new things." How about backgammon? Or knitting. Shockingly, Sheree said she was "feeling really good about myself." Modesty seems like her strongpoint. However, (and we know I don't toss around compliments to Sheree freely), she was good. She worked that pole and she was better than the pros. She is also ripped. I like a lean body. She is a bit too muscular for me, but she obviously takes care of herself and it pays off when "shaking they jelly" as this dancing was affectionately called. My favorite line was "black women have booties." It is true and these girls know how to work them. Every smart girl would love a little bit more "junk in their trunk" if tight and right.

Lisa was reluctant but the tequila got her going and she participated. All in good fun. Please can we discuss Kim's personal chef with headphones. It was obvious to me that she hired him just for this shoot and that he isn't their regular chef. It is very important for her to show her new money and flashy cash, so this was perfect. She doesn't seem to know a single thing about food. She probably thinks arugula is a foreign city. Frozen pizza should do her just fine. She should save her money.

OK, and I really wanted to be wrong here: HOW ABSOLUTELY HORRENDOUS WAS HER VOICE?????!!!!

She even confidently said the words "talented like me, kind of." Um, I'm thinking not even kind of. Jill and I were gasping. Jill can't sing a note and I seriously think she's better than Kim. Kim doesn't seem to be concerned. She says, "I always get what I want. I'm not worried about it."

On to NeNe: Thank you for not disappointing. This week, you busted out the twins in a turquoise sexy top. Jill doesn't understand why NeNe doesn't wear a "brar." I tell Jill I don't understand why she doesn't realize that bra doesn't have an r at the end of it.

What is up with the French manicures and the fake tips? It is 2008 people.

NeNe is a good mother, which makes me love her even more. I even found it endearing that she didn't have a clue about math or her son's homework. She had to bring in her husband for consultation. He is so sweet. He's like Bobby Zarin. I love that he had to make the pizza pie analogy to get the point across.

The issue was whether 1/3 was bigger than 1/2. Jill, my favorite Jewish American princess said: "NENE, IS 1/3 CARAT DIAMOND OR 1/2 CARAT DIAMOND BIGGER?" That is quintessential Jill. The DeBeers method of doing math may be the next big thing.

DeShawn's husband bought her a beautiful Rolex. What is up with the labels? I get crap if I wear an Izod and this show has labels flying everywhere. Evidently, this watch is rare and DeShawn had admired it in Monte Carlo. It was stainless (or white gold) with a blue face. Jill was concerned that it didn't have diamonds. More is more with Jill. Got to love her.

The dialogue is my favorite part of the show, so I was comforted at DeShawn's birthday when NeNe said "Is there some wine up in here?"

All of the husbands are terrific and these women are lucky. The show should be called "The Real Husbands." They are all so sweet and good. NeNe made a toast "to the good life. We are so blessed." Indeed they are. Her husband Gregg is terrific, and I didn't realize until now that Bryce is from a previous marriage. Gregg has a lot of similarities to Bobby Zarin in being a good person, husband, and stepfather.

The people at this dinner, in my opinion, are the core of the show -- the ones the viewers like. Then NeNe took a turn for the worst by singing about Kim's career "You kind of don't know what you're doing." The irony is that NeNe really CAN sing. She should be in the studio. I agree with whoever said "NeNe shouldn't drink." She really lost it a bit but I cracked up when she sang "You say you're 29 when you're really 89." At this point, Nene's husband's head is in his hands. Truly, reality TV involves a lot of talking about other people, but NeNe looks idiotic dismissing her supposed best friend Kim. Here is where her character flaws start to show. She was quoted as saying Kim "truly has her back." NeNe comes unglued during this scene. This is war.

Can we please discuss the Swiss Miss outfit that Kim rocked to get Botox? Jill says she didn't pass the hand test. Apparently, a woman shouldn't wear a skirt that doesn't come below her arms (when by your side). I'm not sure she passed the elbow test. She looked like Dolly Parton. Too bad she can't sing like Dolly. What a beating.

Kim seems to be preoccupied with black women having skin that doesn't crack, so she expressed this by giving Sheree the finger. All class. This is the most deep and spiritual line of the show: Sheree says, and I quote "That's why I love Kim. She gets botox and looks absolutely gorgeous." Hmmmm. Now that really is the foundation of a good friendship. Then Sheree refers to herself and says, "I've heard from a pro I don't need botox." Sheree, sit back so someone else can give you a compliment once in a while. She has taken love thyself to a new level.

Back to Kim's career. She asks the voice coach "What does a voice coach do?" What was she supposed to answer? Um, I change your tires.

Also, here's a tip: A pack of day isn't going to get you any closer to being Shania. I told Jill that Kim's voice hurts my feelings. Jill said, "It hurts my ears." This is a disaster of epic proportion, which was evident when the coach told Kim "You kind of don't know what you're doing." This was lost on Kim because she asked the coach how that plays into singing in a studio. When told she had a crack in her foundation she felt that the coach was nitpicking and that none of this is relevant because she is "a singer." This became clear when we heard Kim's album in an open convertible, while she was smoking and drinking Chardonnay in the car. Sheree lets us know what a beautiful voice Kim has and that she never knew. "All that beauty and talent inside" is exactly what she said. I think I just tossed my cookies yet again. However, I need to admit that the album didn't sound that bad this time. I need to hear more.

Next to the lingerie store, surprisingly, Kim doesn't wear panties and we find out that Lisa is on the itty-bitty titty committee. Well, we know NeNe and Kim aren't on that committee. There is tension in the air because of the NeNe-Kim dynamic. This scene seemed a little forced. The pole-dancing was enough. I don't need to picture some of these women in lingerie.

OK, as a chef, and a person who happens to walk upright, I really couldn't get over the guacamole moment. OK, you don't have to have attended Le Cordon Bleu to hear of guacamole. They sell it in Costco. She had a problem with her food being made in a rock and called guacamole "green garbage." I think she lives under that rock. And please someone tell me that she did not spell cat WITH A K. She's got no problem spelling Dior. Then we had a few more nauseating, vile moments of "You're beautiful, no you are" and thankfully that wretched Rosa Mexicano scene ended.

NeNe announces that she's working on a charity for victims of domestic abuse. I can't say anything bad about that except for please try to make and not spend money on this one.

Then Kim goes into the studio dressed like Kid Rock. I know these broads will bash the hell out of me next season, but I'm just calling 'em as I see them. This is insane. Kim was a bit shocked and perplexed and got a bit of a wake-up call because of how bad her voice was. The truth hurts. Luckily, anything can be done in the studio, and truth be told, she really is an entertaining character. Then we move to a scene in Lisa's kitchen where Sheree continues to talk about NeNe while saying how bad it is to talk about people. She eloquently lets us know that she likes "real ass people."

I reconfirmed at NeNe's charity hat meeting that I love DeShawn. To me, she is sweet and she really is beautiful and I don't have to hear her talk about it every week. She seems sweet and they are real friends. I love hats and died when the girl said she hoped they have big hats because she needs to "hold a lot of weave." Loving this language!!!! I also liked learning about the history of hats with African American women and how they traditionally wore them to church and how they love them. DeShawn and NeNe looked great in them and I loved Gregg in his. Then we had a bit more gratuitous conversation from Sheree about how miserable NeNe is in her own life blah blah blah.

NeNe was wrong in the limo but they are both wrong in perpetuating this nonsense. Sorry for the lengthiness but I like to cover everything. Sorry this is coming to an end in a few weeks.

Claudia: I Could Relate to Cynthia's Insecurities

Claudia Jordan shares her thoughts on Cynthia's runway walk and the ladies' sit down.

Bravotv.com: What were your thoughts about the ladies’ big sit down to hash out their issues?
Claudia Jordan: I was really looking forward to a real resolve, and it seemed like that might happen when we saw (what I thought was) real emotion from both of the ladies. But sadly, once we heard the comments in the confessionals, we saw that only one of the ladies was truly being honest. I for sure thought when I saw NeNe leak some salty liquid from her tear ducts that she was in fact meaning what she was saying, but to so easily flip the script and throw that shade in her interview, well it was disappointing to say the least. One thing I love about Cynthia is that no matter what, she is always down to at least give someone a second chance. Some people may choose to call that weak, but I don't. I think it's easier to write someone off than it is to be open to them again once they have hurt you. Personally to me that takes real strength. I tend to hold a grudge once someone shows me their true colors, and I am great at closing the door and never looking back. So to me it was impressive that Cynthia was even open to once again trying to patch things up with NeNe. At the end of the day both ladies made a choice -- Cynthia made a choice to at least try one more time, and NeNe chose to act like she wanted to be friends again only to turn around and take it all back in her confessional. I wish I could say I am surprised, but sadly I'm not. I thought that was quite mean. Why not say that you were not interested in being friends when Cynthia was in your face? Why bother with the theatrics of crying only to later on basically say you didn't really mean it? Shady, shady, shady! If you're really about that life, say it to her face NeNe! Don't turn up in the confessionals and boo hoo in person! Where they do that at?


Bravotv.com: As a model yourself, did you sympathize with Cynthia’s insecurities about walking in a NY Fashion Week show? How was Cynthia’s walk?
CJ: I absolutely could relate to Cynthia's insecurities walking the runway with teenagers and 20-something year olds! I haven't walked a catwalk in so long, but when I did, there was such a rush that comes from when you KNOW you just did your thing and the crowd shows you love. That instant gratification is everything!

 

But I must say Cynthia did a great job, and if she was insecure, it certainly didn't show while she was on that catwalk! I thought she looked beautiful, and I was happy for her.

Bravotv.com: What inspired you and Kenya to take a cooking class?
CJ: Well I love to cook, but I don't make a TON of different things, so I'm always down to learn to make more. Although my reaction to the dessert wasn't as strong as Kenya's -- and her moans -- I thoroughly enjoyed it! It was sooo good! It was a fun experience, and Kenya never ceases to amaze me with her wild and crazy self!

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