Cast Blog: #RHOA

Meet the Family

Kenya on NeNe's "Embarrassing" Behavior

Claudia: "These Double Standards are Killing Me"

Kandi: "I'm Not Two-Faced"

Phaedra: I Appreciated Demetria's Apology

Are Demetria and Phaedra Cool?

NeNe on Her Apology

Cynthia: Claudia Can Read with the Best of Them

Claudia: NeNe's Behavior Needed to Be Checked

Kenya on "The Beasts"

Phaedra: Demetria Took Things Too Personally

GIF Recap: Lessons in Reading

Phaedra's Ignorant Comments

Claudia: I'm Not Surprised by NeNe's Ugly Demeanor

Kenya: NeNe Doesn't Want to Like Me

Cynthia: I'm Moving Forward in Grace and Love

Kandi: "I Wasn't Trying to Set Demetria Up"

Phaedra on Being Recognized by the Bar

NeNe: "I'm Not a Fake Friend"

Demetria Responds to the Rumors

Cynthia: Forgiveness is a Process

Phaedra: My Mother is My Rock

Kenya: "An Acknowledgement is Not an Apology"

Claudia: I Do Not Own a Flip Phone

Cynthia: It Was Awkward Seeing Phaedra Uncomfortable

Demetria: I Have No Beef with Kenya

NeNe Explains the Wig

Phaedra: I Was Hoping Apollo Wouldn't Create a Scene

Kenya's Not Interested in Roger Bobb

Claudia: "I'm the Samantha of the Group"

Kenya: Cynthia Commanded the Runway

Phaedra: You Don't Often Come Across Hair Burglary

Cynthia: "I Pray We Can Make Peace"

Claudia: I Could Relate to Cynthia's Insecurities

Cynthia's "Non-Conversation" with NeNe

NeNe: The Pit Bull Act is Not a Good Look

Kenya: If It Looks Like a Fraud...

Phaedra: "I Moved Past This Years Ago"

Claudia: I Am Not Asking for Sympathy

GIF Recap: Saltines, Anyone?

Kenya: Why Would Apollo Try to Hurt Phaedra?

Meet the Family

Kandi talks about Kim, NeNe, and Sheree's confrontation, and her relationship with her mom.

Well, well, well... tonight the 2nd episode aired and I watched it with my mother. Before I start talking about my scenes I guess I'll discuss everybody else's scenes first.

Now let me say this: I LOVE Lisa, but seeing her and Ed getting in the bath tub together was a bit much for me...LOL. I don't know why, but the whole romantic scene didn't feel right to me. Maybe because the whole time I'm thinking about how the camera crew is in the room. Were they naked for real in the tub??? Or did they have on swimwear??? I will have to ask Lisa about that the next time we talk.

OK, I also wanna say that I LOVE Nene's husband Gregg. Nene, not so much (LOL), but Gregg is great! I love the way he is always so diplomatic and a peacemaker. The way he breaks things down just really make you say, "Yeah, he's right." Did anyone else laugh when Nene was talking about apologizing for something and he said, "What does that sound like?" and she said "What?" and he said "you apologizing." That was funny to me.

So that brings me to the dinner with Kim and Nene. They looked like they have fun together. I wonder how many drinks they had when Nene decided to do the boobie squeeze. That looked crazy as hell. LOL...I wonder what sparked that. And did she light weight throw Sheree under the bus with the nose job line??? I'm not trying to be messy but when she said it, I was automatically thinking, "Is that true?" and if it is true, is she OK with the world knowing? Not that it's a big deal, because it isn't. But we all know stuff like that is a sensitive subject for some people.

Now let me just skip to the dinner with the three of them at the end. Kim and Sheree going back and forth about what they did and did not say about Nene was crazy. I don't know for sure but in my opinion I think they both probably said things. They've both had disagreements with Nene in the past and when people are mad they do say things that they sometimes regret later. Sometimes the ladies on this show make comments about each other that are below the belt. Meaning, it's one thing to say she's crazy, or I don't like her, or she lies a lot, or whatever... but it's a whole notha story to tell people's personal secrets for the world to hear. At least it is if you've been friends or have a history with each other. It reminds me of what my mama always told me, "Watch Out For Mad Day." For those of you who have never heard that saying, it's when you become friends or "good associates" with someone and you share personal things with them. And then the first day they get mad they go telling all your business! Hence the term Mad Day...

And I really wish Kim didn't swear on her kids lives and say, "Strike them dead if I'm lying." I hate when people do that. It made me cringe when she said that. Kim, from now on if they don't believe you, don't even worry about it. It's not that serious. You don't owe them all that. I understand you wanted to make it clear how much you meant what you were saying, but don't let them have you go there. By the way, how many times do they mention Kim's name? Is it me, or is every conversation they have about her? Maybe it was just this episode.

OK enough about them. It's time to get on myself. Everybody says don't read the blogs, but I can't help it. I'm addicted! When I first signed on to do the show a lot of the blogs really went in on A.J. I felt really bad because I expect them to say crazy things about me, but for some reason I didn't think about all the negative feedback he'd get. I was sad that my decision to be on the show brought so much drama into his life and into the lives of his kids and their mothers. There were times he said that he hated that I even signed on to do the show. Call me dumb, but I didn't think he would be such a big story...LOL. Now prior to me becoming "The New Housewife" I was already having issues with my mom accepting my relationship with A.J. The things that came up on the blogs only made it worse.

Speaking of my mom. So, you guys got to meet the family. What did ya think? It's funny looking back at that day. That was actually my first day of taping and we had a huge emotional blow out. There were way more things said and way more tears than they showed. I'm sure you can tell we are very close. My mom is the youngest of 14 kids, and yes, all by the same mother. All born and bred right here in ATL. Wasn't it too funny when my Aunt Bertha started naming all my other living aunts and uncles "Aunt Nora, Uncle Ralph, Aunt Hazel, Uncle Bebo, Uncle Booley ..." She was the star tonight for me! When she said "and if it don't work out TO HELL WIT IT!" I loved that line. She's the "Caroline" of our family. "Our family is as thick as thieves!" I can so relate to them (the New Jersey Housewives for those of you who don't know who I'm talking about.) My mom wasn't hearing any of that -ish Aunt Bertha, Aunt Nora, or I was talking about though. Uncle Ralph was trying to be neutral. I gotta tell ya'll this - it's too funny. Aunt Bertha is singing a different tune now. She called my mom's tonight and said, "I need to go in the backyard and dig up some dog sh*t for siding with that relationship!" OMG! Hilarious!!! I couldn't do anything but laugh. I call them the black golden girls and she's the one always saying crazy stuff like Sophia.

Watching that episode makes me teary-eyed every time. Even though it was months ago and so much has gone on since then, I still feel the emotion of that moment. There was so much strain on my relationship with my mom at that time. It was killing me! I understand how she feels about not wanting me to marry a man with that many children, but the part when I said "I'd rather have a man with a bunch of kids that showed them all love than a man with only one child that he never talks about and doesn't spend time with," I meant that. I've been getting so many people that hit me up and say "Listen to your mother, don't do it!" I appreciate all the love and your concern, but don't worry about me because like Aunt Bertha said, if it don't work out, my family will be there to help pick up the pieces...

Much Love,

P.S. Did I just write a book or what?! I promise it won't be this long next time.

Claudia: "These Double Standards are Killing Me"

Claudia Jordan shares her thoughts on NeNe Leakes' apology and the double standards within the group.

WHEW! What trip! First of all I'd like to thank Demetria for inviting us all down to Puerto Rico for her do-over. And honey, what a do-over it was! The rooms were cute and cozy, the weather was amazing, and the pina coladas were fantastic! And on top of all that I really got to know Demetria a little more, and I just adore her. And of course like always I had a great time with Kenya and Cynthia. Those two really know how to have fun, and I appreciate their laid back and easy going demeanor. Our time at the pool was fun -- especially watching Kenya attempt to speak both Italian and broken Spanish to our bartender in an attempt to wrangle up some local cuties!

Dinner…well the evening once again started out fun, fun, fun! I was with my girls Demetria, Kenya, and Cynthia, and it was all so effortless and easy breezy! We were making toasts in honor of our gracious host as well as to new friendships. The tone of the evening certainly changed when the rest of the ladies showed up. I don't think I saw any one of them besides Kandi acknowledge Demetria, our host. Girl, I need these folks to take an etiquette class or something around these parts! But I digress. Things got heated between Demetria and Ms. Parks, and it was all downhill from there. I honestly couldn't understand the treatment of Demetria from Phaedra. On a shady scale from 1 to 10, I give it an 8.

As for the little disagreement I was involved in, Iet's just say it was a fight of words with lots of bobbing and weaving that was capped off with a verbal scalping! Lots of low points and crass things said, and plenty of one sided yelling. I am proud to say that I maintained a calm and classy demeanor throughout and let my wit, not my volume, do my work against several malicious false statements made by the mother hen.

Kandi's party was fun as always and it was nice to see all the ladies get along and have fun -- something I think usually is missing when certain people are in the mix. But I will say on that night it was great hanging with all the ladies. I had a great time and was surprised at who excelled and who struggled with the Pass the Potato/dildo game!

The bus ride to Demetria's performance was interesting. First we got the news that one of the women in our group would be stepping in and taking over for Sherri Shephard in the Broadway play Cinderella! That was great news, because I heard that Sherri did her thing, so although those are some big shoes to fill, even getting a chance at that role is huge, and I acknowledge that. Kudos!!!

I guess I should address the argument with Linnethia (Is that how you spell it? One day I will get it right!). I think I showed maturity when I congratulated her on her newest gig, but I felt I'd take that time to also make the point that she is not the only one working. Often times that is her narrative: "I'm the only one that will be left standing. I'm the Queen! I'm the only original! I'm rich! They are not on my level!" I mean it's exhausting to constantly hear these things, but even more laughable that it's being said to a group of women -- the majority of this group has been working on their own long before the phenomenon of reality television. I know I'm dating myself, but I've been a member of the Screen Actors Guild since 1994. I just don't think people that are used to working feel the need to constantly tell everyone that they work. We're all adult women, aren't we supposed to be working? When one behaves like this, it makes it difficult to "give props," yet Cynthia and I both did regardless of the shade.

Some may think I'm a pit bull or that I was wrong for not accepting NeNe's weak apology. Well I don't know how these ladies do it, but where I'm from apologies for bad actions usually come with an explanation so there is an understanding as to why it happened in the first place. That was my entire point for pressing NeNe. I wanted to know why that was the go-to thing to attack me with -- my integrity as a woman. I've experienced lots of things in my life, I know a thing or two about sexual abuse, so for me to be called a "whore" and have someone talking about my private parts is for sure a trigger. I don't want to get into all the ugly details, but let's just say my life was affected by that word, and it is something that cuts me deep. It seems that has followed me throughout my life. Maybe because I am considered somewhat attractive, the go-to insults are "whore, ho, bitch, and slut." I remember not being able to have sex for years after what happened to me, and men getting frustrated with me and again using that word to hurt me when that was the furthest thing from the truth. I wish people would be careful with the words they chose to use, because you never know someone's back story. So I was demanding NeNe tell me why she was calling me a whore, and she refused to answer that question, so that was why it was so difficult for me to accept a simple, "Well, I'm sorry!"

Now is there a time or occasion when the use of that word is warranted? Absolutely! That should be reserved for women who exchange sexual favors for money or gifts, not because you are losing an argument. When you make these gross declarations on a huge platform, you give the green light for others to follow. I have had hundreds of people repeat this to me since NeNe screamed it at me, and it's not right. And I find it ironic that since then a very false list has been circulating the internet of all these alleged lovers that I'm being linked to, several of which are married to women I am cool with. The timing could not be any more convenient for some. This list is mostly false, not 100% but mostly! Once again, we must be careful with how we characterize one another, ladies. I know that I do not speak on something unless I am damn near 99% certain of it and pretty much know. I encourage others to follow suit.

As for the other lady I fussed with, well, it may have seemed unwarranted and I am sorry about that. I just wanted to make a point that the double standards in this group are crazy! I just don't how for some women it's, "Close your legs to married men," and then to others it's, "Do you girl, get your coins!" It gives me a headache trying to figure out the rules of engagement in this group! Ugh! Can I get a handbook of the rules? Because these double standards are killing me. I need for things to make sense.

I have to say I loved, loved, loved Demetria's performance! I knew she could sing, but I didn't know she could SANG! It almost brought me to tears seeing a beautiful and kind woman living her dream and doing it so damn well! Despite all the shade and negativity she had to deal with leading up to her show, she handled it like a true professional and pushed all that nonsense to the side and flourished. She for sure is an inspiration. Sometimes when I'm down I tend to curl up and hide, but to see Demetria fly high after all the nonsense was inspirational! I will continue to support this woman, and last I heard she was climbing up the iTunes charts and was at number 4! Take that, naysayers!

OK this was my most personal blog so far, and just a taste of things to come. I will continue to try to be an open book so you all can really get to know me. And in the process I hope some who share some of my struggles can feel better about their own and take comfort in knowing that you do not have to feel like you are alone and that you are damaged goods. There is life after tragedy and there are rainbows after the rain. Trust me, I know! I appreciate the love and support from those that have found something in me to relate to. I read all the comments and messages, and I just want to say the love has been overwhelming. Seriously guys and gals! Words cannot express how wonderful you guys have made me feel since joining the show. I love you all! XOXO

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