I received the copy of our first episode almost a week ago. I was so excited to see it, because I've been on the edge of my seat to see how it would be edited. I watched it alone at first just to make sure that I didn't say anything too crazy that I needed to pre-apologize for. I have the tendency to speak before thinking sometimes. Something that I'm trying to work on, but it's a process.... Y'all are gonna have to work with me people!
Well anyway, I knew that I was gonna have to write a blog about the show and I've been racking my brain trying to figure out what to say. I waited until last night when the show actually premiered to start writing because I wanted to see what my twitter friends commented on the most. Just so that I could get an idea of what people really wanted to know the real deal about. So here goes!
FIRST. A lot of people commented on my daughter Riley, mostly saying how much her personality cracked them up. She cracked me up too! To be honest she was the highlight of the show for me. Of course I'm bias though. That day when we were talking about her and A.J.'s kids being sisters and brothers and she stopped and said, "No, we will be friends," I was like ok.... There was really nothing else I could say. Blending a family is not easy and you can't force things on children. Riley has been an only child for a long time. So having an instant big family will be a major adjustment. The part that really caught me off guard was when we went in her room and I asked her how she felt about us getting married. When she said that she wasn't really excited about it I was shocked. I know that sounds crazy, but I thought everything was going well. She always seemed happy, and we were always doing fun family stuff together, and she would even ask me when were we getting married. So needless to say that shocked look on my face was real! To find out that my daughter wasn't as excited about us getting married as I thought she was and to have to hear it while the cameras were there kind of threw me for a loop. Well that's reality for ya I guess! Riley speaks her mind which is a quality I love about her.
hello Kandi, i can't wait to see your home when you finish it. So why do Kim hate on someone if they got something better then her.
Baby Girl, If the love is REAL then the rest will follow ...Let nature take its course ...let the" DEVINE "lead be patient...WHATS THE RUSH ????
Greetings Ms. Kandi,
I think that you're right when it comes to doing what you feel is right for you. Your mom is just concerned, and she wants what's best for you. As for your soon to be husband, and his kids, you want to set boundaries when it comes to your relationship with him, his kids and the kids moms. You want to reassure your daughter of her place and role in your life. I also suggest some pre-marital counseling, and maybe include the kids in it. Forget about nay_sayers. We all have them. Don't take it so seriously.
This is the first time I've ever commented in a blog but after viewing the 2nd episode of season II and knowing that you read the blogs, I just had to show you some love. Just keep in mind everyone will always come at you with their opinions about your situation... Everyone knows your situation better than you do, yeah right! Let the truth be told, the majority of the people, if not all, that are giving you advice to not marry your fiance' are going through some things in their lives that other people are giving them advice on that they are not receptive to.
Girl, follow your heart. As your aunts stated, if marry AJ is a mistake then so be it. If the marriage doesn't work out then you pick up the pieces and continue on this journey called LIFE. If the marriage does work out then you keep smiling big and beautiful like that big rock on your hand.
By the way, I am enjoying the show and wish you continued success!
1st of all I am a huge fan! You will have to follow you heart and you know that if your man loves you and you love him and your daughter is happy, baby girl go for it. I understand what your mom is saying but love conquers all. As long as he is treating you right and respecting you I wish you all the happiness in the world. Oh I can't wait to hear your solo album. Be sweet and Take care, God knows whats best.
Kandi, screw all the haters, I'am married to a guy no one in my family likes, he has 2 kids from 2 diff. mama's. You do what's best for you and your beautiful daughter and do what you know is right in your heart. And if it is to marry a beautiful man that loves you and your daughter, go on with it. Who cares if he has 6 kids, just a bigger package to love. I know you will make the right choice. Hopefully you have your wedding on the show. Keep putting that big voice to work. and kick off your shoes and relax your feet.. lol. god bless.
I LOVE YOU !! i think you're the most awesome housewife ... and who cares what other people think ... you are freakin awesome ... you know it ... now the world knows it !!!
KANDI, First off let me start by saying as any one would...you have done amazing over these yrs in the music industry not just in the lime light but behind the scenes with your witing also.. As a fan from the time i was young (im about to be 28)id have to say that you ladies did an amazing thing in music..you are true icons. i really wanted to come to this site to speak to you specifically i just finished watching the second show and it hurt my heart to see yu in so much pain. Most people dont realized that public figures have real life issues..just because some one can sing rap or act and make alot of money doesnt mean that they dont feel pain or that life is always happy. as the old saying goes money doesn't buy you everything. Alot of people may have different oppions and they are just that oppions they dont have to live your life raise your child nor worry about the thing that are in your house hold daily because in actuality you were born alone and will die that same way. i have been in a situation where the man i had lots of money, a million flaws and didnt love me..as we women do i did everything to try to please him and make life the way it should be. but it didnt work. now i have a man who doesnt make as much money as me but works he has his flaws too but kandi he loves me like i have never EVER been loved before..im a firm believer in karma,everything i put into the last man all of the unconditional love that i gave...GOD gave me my karma back and im recieving love ten times over. and that is all that i have ever wanted. alot of people have alot to say because thats the way the world is but what you have to do is what works for you.Your mother is your mother and she will always be your mother no matter what you do or what you go thru. im sure there have been many things in your life that she has frowned upon and not wanted you to do, shes probably even told you the outcome and its happend and sometimes it hasn't. you just have to step out on faith and chose whichpath your heart tells you to but only you can make that decision because you have to live that life...now as far as you getting upset about the negative things people say my mama always told me as long as they talkin, your on their minds, n child thats a good thing for you cuz u have the upper hands cuz once you close that laptop and go on about your bizness you know you aint even thinkin about them..they have nothin positive to say because they have nothing positive in their lives and you know misey loves company..dont be their company. love ya much ttyl.
Sweetie...Stop readng the blogs! Do you! Consult the Lord in your decision making and you will be Golden....O and hurry up with the CD we r waiting....
Don't you worry or listen to anyone but yourself. Follow your heart and mind. If you allow other peoples thoughts to second guess your thoughts it's not meant to be. You have to live and learn....marry your man girl. It's your world and they(the outsiders) trying to get in your world. Believe me when I tell you I live this life for me and my kids... I do me just the way I want to. I suggest you learn how to passify yourself. About your moms baby mama drama comment...check them at door....be involved with his decisions with his kids so they will know don't nothing go unless you and AJ decide...and that's it. CAUSE BITCHES WILL HATE
Kandi, I just wanted to say that I love you on the show. Just keep it classy. I have never written on a blog and normally don't read them but I just had to write you. I watched the show tonight and my heart went out to you. Do not listen to what people say about your relationship with your future husband. Remember what's important is how you feel about each other. There are challenges in every relationship, keep a united front and the naysayers will eventually go away. As for your mother, she's just trying to look out for you. Try to get her to understand how happy he makes you. As for your daughter, that's something that's going to have to grow on her. You know what's best for her and she doesn't. It is very important for a child to have two parents in a household. Your daughter is going through her own issues of having to share you. She's used to be it just being you and her. Give her some time to get used to the idea, she'll come around. My wish for you is to stop allowing others to get you down and be the strong woman that you are. Everyone seems to know what they think is best for you, but it appears that you have gotten along just fine so far. You have a successful career, a beautiful intelligent daughter, and a beautiful singing voice. Keep doing whatever you've been doing and you'll be just fine. I am an author and I know what it's like to have people talk about you all the time. Sometimes it can be quite hurtful, but you have to find a way to let it roll off you. I would love to meet you one day. You appear to be the kind of person I could hang-out with sometimes. If you get the chance, go to my publishers website (www.watchyourmouthpress.com) and look me up. I travel a lot promoting my new novel. I would love to have lunch with you when I'm in Atlanta Take Care Patsy
Kandi, I LOVE that song you were singing, "it must be good, good, good... it must be good, good." Let me help you finish writing it, LOL... Girl, do you!! Understand, no matter WHAT you do, good or bad, people will talk about you. Everyone does things differently and we all don't agree. I will say this, YOU said that yaw got engaged quickly, slow it down. If it is meant to be, it will be... I do see your mom point of view. You are in love, feels good to you and you want to be free. But like your mom said, he has three daughters, a total of 6 kids, he need someone with a lil money to help him be able to breath. Hold on, don't get mad!! I bet he is not going to talk to a chic that is broke. But you have to know, at the end of the day, it is YOU and your DAUGHTER against the world!! He is NOT going to have her back or yours like he will his own 6 kids. Not, just one or two, but three, four, five and six!! That is a lot to think about. But again, like your aunt said, do what you have to do to be happy, and when if all fails, we will be here to pick you up. Don't rush because you are tired of being alone, to many good men out here, may live in other cities, but still. Not sure if you go to church, but God is real and will guide you... if you allow Him. Good luck to you... FINISH THAT SONG, 'It must be good, good..." I will be singing that the next couple of days.
Girl you are my fave on the ATL housewives I think your very down to earth and very real and your so not about the drama girl forget every one they dont know your man the way you do.He seems like he takes good care of his kids,I think it takes a very strong woman to be with a man who has kids with someone eles.Im not that strong i give it up to you and for those people who where saying ur a name droper it doesent seem like ur like that its not like ur lying.You are who you are forget about them Ill be watching next week bye
Kandi you are a beautiful woman, and also a smart woman..so you know what your doing! I was in the same situation that your in with the kids...except my husband had seven at the time I started dating him and I had one little girl like yourself. Of course it's going to take sometime to get use to the change, but it's a fun and happy life and people fail to realize when your old and gray, your family is what's going to matter the most!! I love my husband's kids like they are my own and I currently have 2 boys by him myself, so girl do your thang, your man seems like he loves you for you, and that's what matters the most!! Your a beautiful and strong woman so like your publicist said... "let the hater's be your motivators!!"
Kandi, I can only imagine what you are feeling from all the pressure from everyone about your relationship. My advice to you is this: If you do marry AJ, start like you want to finish. Establish limits, have trust, laugh together, discuss likes and dislikes, keep lines of communication open and most importantly be honest. I noticed that you talked to a few people about your relationship. BAD START! The opinion that matters most is yours. So take a step back and be a spectater for a moment. You continuoustly talked about being a family. Are you simply in love with the "idea" of what a family is? You said several times that the fact that AJ has six children and several baby mommas doesn't bother you. Are you being honest with yourself? If AJ had a long history of being abusive to women would that matter? If prior to meeting you he was a career criminal would that matter? Of course, because you're human. Ultimately, be honest with yourself and AJ. I can't imagine that you have absolutely no fear about his history of failed relationshipes. Baby, if you have reservations or any fears about taking the relationship to the next level face them head on. Also, keep your daughter as a priority in your decision. Again, take some time and think things through. I wish you the best. Remember, every blog, rumor or anything that you hear from viewers, most of whom don't know you or AJ personally,is just talk. At the end of the day you have to live your life for you. Hopefully, this is not offensive and adds no additional stress, just wanted to give you my thoughts. Until next time. Keep your head up!
I remember when you were with the group Xscape. I am happy to know that you have gone on to achieve great success. I think you are a great addition to "Housewives."
I hope you and your fiancee have a successful marriage. But I must say that I understand your mother's apprehensions about your impending marriage. The fact that he has 6 children by 4 different women sends up a "red flag." That flag is that he may have a problem with being faithful to any woman. Your mother can see this and she doesn't want you to get hurt. She has watched you develop into a beautiful successful woman and she doesn't want you to jeopardize it all. Face it A.J. is bringing a lot of baggage into the relationship. What exactly does A.J. do for a living? Hopefully he does not see you as a "free ride."
i think your wonderful but dont let the haters discorage you do your thang and do what make you happy i wish you the best for your family
Kandi I just want to say that no one knows what goes on in your personal life if A.J. makes you happy that's all that matter we don't know the relationship that he has with his kids or the mothers of his kids. Everyone just assumes that there is going to be drama cause that's what they are used to. Only you know whats best for you and if he makes you happy then go for it.
Good Luck! keta
Kandi, are you and Nene going to become friends? I really can see you and her hanging out because both of you are so down to earth compared to the rest of those girls. Love your hair girl it fits you perfectly. Congrats on the engagement, I hope your mom come around because it not the same when a mother and daughter are out of fellowship. Keep up the good work .
I am so happy to see you on the big screen again...I just wanted to say that I admire you and how you feel about your man....My man is very similar, but he has a little boy...A lot of my family do not know of this yet, but I'm sure they will find out soon...I just really don't want my mother in my business like that. But I really do admire the love you have for your man and his kids...So I just wanted to stop by and say hello and so glad that you are not under the radar anymore, and I can't wait until your cd drops so I can rush out and get it..
Love and Blessings
You are so sweet my dear, and I wish you and A.J. all the happiness in the world. My heart broke when I saw the scene between you and your mother and aunts. I've definitely been through what you have been through, and honey it does not matter how old you are, your mom is only going to see you one way only: her little girl. She honestly does not want you to make mistakes and have regrets in your life; it's her biggest fear for you, but it does come out sideways when she relays her feelings about things. You have to come to point where you just say "Mom, I'll take what you said under advisement" and leave it at that. You go on and do what you need to do, and she's been heard. That's all you can really do. Again I wish you many blessings in the years to come, stay true to yourself, and God Bless you and your family.
Kandi, I watched the show and to be honest I was a little biased about your situation. Then God reminded me that I had a simular relationship.I once met a man he had 4 children and 2 baby momas. One black and one white (yes girl he went there) to make a long story short, when I met this man my family was out done. I was a single parent with three boys of my own at the time. What really stood out was my family also would say "you can do better why him." Well you don't know why God puts people in your life. In this case, this man at age 36 had a heart attack 1 year before I met him and lost 70% of the use of his heart. I lost him a year later but I thank God for the time we had together. He help me get over my anger towards men and he was able to leave heare knowing he was loved. We were able to experience unconditional love. I met my husband a few years later but I would be a different person if I had not had that experience. Trust GOD keep him first in your life. He does not make mistakes so there is a reason this man has come into your life. Your job is to hear God speaking you and follow His lead. So no matter how it turns out you will be alright. I will be praying for you and your family.
HI Ms.Kandi I did watch the show 2nite and i must say that i loved seeing you on their singing. That is my passion so keep on using the talent God gave you.but what i was very shocked to see was you and your daughter talking she's very smart for her age and (Ihave a ten year old daughter)you must know that we as parents must listen to our kids. She is concerned about you and the guy you are marrying.if she is used to just you and family then you need to keep it as close as possible. I am not knocking A.J i am just simply saying that sometime the devil bring good things in our life and they dont last long.When i saw youand your mother talking she looked like she was very hurt i am 27 years old and i wish like crazy i would have listen to my mother they do know most of everything and shes just simply saying that you can do better. Their is a man out their that has less baggage and he can treat you like a queen.i saw that your aunts were their giving you pointers and i haveaunts as well but TRUST ME WHEN IT ALL BOILS DOWN MOTHER IS GOING TO BE THEIR AND SHE JUST DONT WANT TO SEE YOU GET HURT SAYING WHAT WAS I THINKING I ONLY HAVE ONE DAUGHTER AND I KNEW I COULDNT TAKE ON 6----KIDS JUST DO ME A FAVOR TALK TO GOD AND YOURMOTHER. IF YOU EVER WANNA CHAT OR DO A RECORD I WOULD LOVE THAT.LIL MS.COUNTRY GREENSBORO GA.
KANDI IF YOU LISTEN TO THESE KRAZY PEOPLE THEN GOOOOOD LUCK. mY STEP-FATHER MARRIED MY MOTHER AND IT WAS 8 OF US WITH 6 TEENAGERS IN THE HOME, MY FATHER DIDNT HAVE ANY AND HE TREATED ME LIKE HE GAVE BIRTH TO ME. ONE QUESTION IF YOU HAD 6 KIDS YOUR MOTHER AND THE WORLD WOULD THINK YOU WOULD BE GOOD ENOUGH TO MARRY! JUST LEAN BACK WHEN HE IS DEALING WITH HIS KIDS MOTHER LET HIM HANDLE THAT PART AND YOU STAY OUT OF THAT SMALL PART TRUST ME IT WILL TAKE YOU FAR. JUST BE HIS ROCK FOR HIM TO LEAN ON AND COME ON PEOPLE WE TALKING MARRIAGE WHICH BY THE WAY IS PLEASING IN GODS EYES. MY DAUGHTER IS THE ONLY GRAND DAUGHTER I WOULD LOVE FOR HER TO HAVE WHAT I HAVE SISTERS BUT I'M NOT HAVING ANY MORE LOL, SHE'LL BE FINE. I'M PRAYING FOR YOU GIRL MARRY THAT MAN GET OVER IT ALL READY PEOPLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!FROM DETROIT 2 ATLANTA
Hey Kandi, You are a great addition to the cast of HW's of ATL I just wanted to welcome you and I love all you guys. Your daughter is so cute and smart and I love the fact that she is so open with you. I can tell you two have a close relationship. I've been checking out Tiny & Toya and she mentioned she co-wrote No Scrubs with you, do you two still see each other and work together? Take care and I look forward to the next show!
Hey Kandi, I just wanted to let you know this is my first time on this website an i came just for you. When i was watching the show tonight i felt like i was watching my mom an I... You an I are close in age, I am 31 an have been married only once I have been engaged 3 times since then, an getting married sept 26 2009.. I have a 14 yr old an a 21 month old.. I know you have to take these blogs with caution, of course we all have opinions, but I really want to share something with you an it really hit home for me tonight, I was in a relationship for 7 yrs with my ex an for the longest time my son never said anything, then one day we were talking like you an your baby girl talk, by the way she is a doll, any how, I asked him what do you think of us getting married he shrugged his shoulders an said it's your life mom. I knew at that moment it was time to get serious an take his feelings into consideration. We continued to talk an he told me, I know you love him but I don't feel like he wants me around, I thought he was wrong but i started to watch, I started to notice what he was saying, the last straw was when my ex had come over to my house without calling an told me come on lets go to the mall, I told him no I have things to do, why don't you take eli.. he replied with a huff an said fine... girl I kicked his ass right out and ended it after 7 yrs, i loved him... but i realized that having my sons approval an respect an showing him that his feelings matter to me more then my own did really made a impact in my mind, heart and soul!! I am not saying don't marry AJ i am just saying really evaluate her feelings an get a better understanding of what an why she is against it besides the kids... trust your feelings and hers too! Sometimes kids see what we don't.. girl i am so glad i listened because he is a bum with no job an a new loony wife, an a beautiful baby girl... but i am glad i am not stuck in that like she is.. my mom was not the one who would ride my ass about him but it was my dad, honey like i said just remember some people see what we cant see because of our blindness to love... like you said your mom has always told you about your ex's... was she right about them? she loves you so much an only wants to protect you and riley... I do hope that this is the man of your dreams and he looks like he does love you but remember you and riley are your mothers heart an it's only with the best of intentions.. how many times have you tried to warn riley an she did it anyways but you were right and only if she had listened? keep your head up and pray, thats where you will get your answer, god answers in three ways .. yes .. no.. an not right now... best wishes an much love... jessica
I love your demeanor ...... this housewife series needed some class. Im sure you will meet Kim and know how to deal with her; you seem like a fair and balanced person who doesnt need to keep gossiping about people to make herself feel accepted and normal. NOW, this is something you may not want to hear. I really believe in the blessings of the parents for marriage. Sometimes God speaks to us through our children and our parents. I saw how your daughter was reluctant to accept your marriage to AJ. Im not saying to break it off or anything, Im just saying ,,,,, listen to your loved ones around you. You're thinking with your heart; they are thinking with their mind. I wish you the best, you deserve it. I know you have worked hard to provide for your family and make your life the way you want it. I also understand what its like being a single mother and having my mom as my best friend. I hope and pray everything works out with your man AND you family because I can see both are important to you.
Baby girl..all I can say is if you really love this man and he loves you..then try living together first to see how it's going to work out.what's the rush?..
And if you do decide to get married remember.. Prenup Prenup Prenup..You worked to hard to get what you have and then have it taken away from you and your little girl...
Listen to your mother... she loves you and is telling you the right thing..And I'm not saying that he isn't a nice guy because I believe when you say that he is... but he is coming with a lot of baggage and you can do better then that.
I am wishing you all the best..
kandi,seens you and your girl is happy with you fiance,if your mom is not happy with ,well,its your life not hers i know it will mean the world to you that your mom approve but sometime you have to go on love ,you know misery love company,i love your music i grew up singing your music,talk to god he will stear you right .
Khandi, Glad your on the show. You are a positive woman who has earned what she has on your own with love & support from family & friends. your daughter she is a cutie!!! Khandi "ask yourself this ?", I know, you've already heard it. oh well, my turn, if the circumstances were reverse..you had six kids by four diff men?,and never married any of there father(s) would AJ be so excepting and still want to marry u? " I DON'T THINK SO"!!! "He has shown a "pattern" of the saying " a woman needs a reason and all a man needs is a place". He is still "selfish" and arrogant". Marry me and if "you" love me, my six kids, AND ALL THE BABY MAMA DRAMA!! what has he done to earn your loyalty & devotion? so you will be baby mama WHAT!! WHAT!! LUCKY NUMBER FIVE!! You have to understand from his mind set "Hum, single, six kids, four diff BABYS MAMA'S..whats a man to do?? marry some one attractive, hard working, & can carry there own he has security for himself & his six kids.$$$ right person right time I guess he does love U, he is a "predator" looking for that "safety net" he'll make a great "stay at home" DAD!! He still has a woman to "prop him up" & "carry all his baggage" he has a syndrome of a woman taking his responsibility. He will never "MAN UP". He's never had to, to many women have done it for HIM!! You want to balance the scales for you & your daughter . The ODDS ARE STACKED AGAINST YOU !! Khandi, "LOVE IS BLIND", too much babies mama drama for "DO U TAKE THIS MAN ?? TO BE YOUR LAWFULLY WEDDED HUSBAND WAIT WAIT!!!
Kandi, you are a true southern lady with a heart of gold. Your warmth comes across so strong. I would say I have a heart as a person too. I am a gay man, fine and 32. I will always say go with your heart and don't doubt it a bit. If you go into this marriage with a question about AJ in that back of your mind, it will not last. I am one that could care less what another person thought about me or what I was doing. As long as you know what you're doing and that you are happy with it then there is nothing else to be said. Your mother will come around. Your family reminds me of mine so much. Don't look at it like you have to prove something to her because that tension will stay there. Just show her, and she will change in time. I can tell she is a strong black mother and family is everything to her. So don't push it on her just go with your decision and she will eventually see you are happy and probably will embrace AJ's children like her own grandchildren. If the babies momma have not been tripping so far then you may be ok. But you know everybody wants there 15 minutes of fame so thank about that also, in a positive way though....... Wishing you all the best from straight up 85 in Greensboro NC.......would love to hear back from you......
Just viewed the second episode and still Love you. As a divorce married twice, two kids with each...I understand how family can get involved cause they love us and want to protect. If I would have listened to my parents as a single mom of two I would have never married my spouse. We have been married 15yrs with two more kids and not a day goes by that we dont tell each other how much we love each other. Kandi, the choice in a spouse must come from the heart first then the brains. Do what tells you is right, and later down the line you can turn to Mama and say "See".
Love the music thus far, would go out and buy it for sure....!
Some people are like fake purses at times you can’t tell the real ones from the fake ones. Which, it is hard to really see what kind of man you have because he looks and feels like the real thing. However, what your mother and daughter are trying to tell you is to really look hard and do a deep analysis on your man. As, women we often settle for what feels right because we haven’t had a good committed man. Nowadays, unless you are a millionaire woman most men would not get engaged with a woman with 6 children and four babies daddy’s.
The type of man you have meets the nice/good man profile because he appears to be devoted to his children, he is a good lover, he is very attentive to your daughter and he buy’s you nice things. Well, so does Bobby Brown…The reality is what your mother is trying to tell you and the same as Whitney Houston’s mother tried to tell her. This type of man is an opportunist and he has no history of commitment to women, only babies (sperm donor). Since, you have put yourself in this love/lust trap…you will marry this man. However, get to know the babies mommy’s (he will always be devoted to them), sign a prenuptial, spend time with his children alone and have him to put you in a bigger house that would accommodate 7 children. Overall, with a man like this you would be better off being a foster parent if you love children and keeping him around as your baby girl stated as a “FRIEND.”
Hey Kandi, love you in the show! I just hope you do not get pulled in & into the gossip mess the rest have going on. I agree with some of the other viewers when they advise keep your personal bussiness to yourself & only air what you want out there. Wish you the best of luck in your new relationship, but I must say 6 kids & 4 baby mommas is something to think about...Drama for sure you will get...I only have to deal with 2 kids & 1 baby momma. Dont get me wrong baby momma is cool most of the times...but there be some days uuuuuuhhhh Lord! Lol...you seem like the patient kindda lady, so I am sure you will be able to handle alot of it with class! Love you & support you!
Your FAn Always, Ms. Shadesofbeauty
Kandi....Go marry that man and don't listen to the haters!!! So what he has 6 kids, who does not have baggage? At least you can see that he is caring for his children and wants to marry you. Some men don't even see their kids and furthermore, don't want to marry. They just want to date forever with no committment. And then people got something to say about the ring. Dang!!! can anybody be happy for other people anymore? I know women that buy their own ring to ensure it looks like what THEY want it to look like. Gimme a break. Be happy this girl is getting married and this man loves her and her kid. Women need to unite instead of tearing each other down. Kandi looks good, not fat, hair banging, cute daughter that she raised with standards, fine ass man, and a strong family. You go ahead my sister and don't listen to those b-t---s!!!!!
Last night was the first time I watched the show; I'm not a real fan of reality tv. I was really touched by the conversation you had with you aunts and your mom. I say this because I went through the EXACT same thing when I decided to marry my soon to be ex-husband. He had 8 kids at the time (mine makes 9)and 7 "baby mommas". Everybody had something to say and it was sad because I was so happy. I wanted everyone to be happy for me even if they thought I was making a huge mistake. I was 29, no kids, and ready to settle down. I thought we were in love (we were at the time) and why not?? I love his children. We have a relationship that is different from the one they have with their parents. One thing I can say is that I didn't do the baby mommmas. I didn't let them come to my house like that and they had to keep it strictly about the kids if they found it necessary to have a conversation with me at all. I was cordial and respectful. As far as I was concerned the only thing we had in common was our kids had the same father. I didn't find it necessary to befriend these women because of that. If you love AJ and he loves you and you all have the same goal for your relationship, go for it. My mother did me the same way and it hurt because we are so close. She came to accept my marriage and she's been very supportive during the divorce process. I knew she would say "I told you so" but she didn't. Take this to God and listen to what He tell you to do. You can't please everybody; especially your mother!!!! :o) She'll never think that any man is good enough for her baby; no two ways about it. Keep your head up and the nay sayers out. You'll do what you think is best for you and your daughter. I don't know if you'll ever read this or care about what I have to say but I just wanted you to know that you are not alone.
You claim that he is not a dead beat becasue his kids are at your house a lot? Well, of course they would be particulalry if je is not financially supporting the mothers adequately. I would send them over to your h ouse too. Also, when there was no Kandi in AJ's life, could we assume that he spent sufficient time at each of the four mothers households to see his children?? I think not. Seecond point to consider, why didnt't he marry ANY of the mothers of his children but wants to marry you? And lastly, if you both ever get divorced, he will be eligible for alimony. It appears that you have not considered these things whihc i your mother's main issue. It just seems like you are happy to be engaged to someone decent. Your daughter has told you in so many words that she is not on board wit this marriage but you still have the rose colored glases on. Be well.
Kandi, First of all let me say I am very impressed with how you handle business and family. You seem to be very good hearted and just down to earth and trying to do the best by your loved ones. Ok so AJ has six kids....oh well. I always have said that once you get past 3 kids in the house, it does not even matter. It becomes the best times because kids are always doing something hysterical and it gives your daughter more playmates, more for her to love as she learns to share mom and more, more funny things to laugh at and just more! So if the baby mama's aren't too crazy...go for it! And with your mom, I can understand the pain there. I too try to please my mom but I can honestly say you only get one life. And just try to live it the best you can and continue to show your mom that love and respect. I think our moms try to warn us because they have gone thru so much and they do not want us to repeat the same mistakes....pray and seek God and if he gives you peace about your decision...roll with it girl! I wish you the very best!
Kandi-- I love to watch you and Riley...I totally agree with you about not rushing her...you are one smart mom! I cheered when you told your mom that AJ "manned up" and is an involved father to his children. We need more men who do that--your mom really can't counter that one! You don't know what his childrens' mothers will do--and can't control them--so just deal with what comes with your head and heart and you'll do fine. Good luck and god bless
Kandi, Sometime loves blinds us...so therefore if we are Christians we must ask God is this who he has for you. Your mom is only trying to cover you from the possiblitiy of getting hurt. She's not telling you anything that you wouldn't tell your daughter,I hope. Something big happen and you totally pushed it to the side..Your daughter spoke her true feelings about your engagement. If you don't listen to your mom listen to you daughter. With 7 children she's going to be lost is the shuffle...Can he provide for all of yall with your income??
Kandi,girl let me tell you,dont listen to anybody live for you and be happy,you are grown enough to get yourself in things and you can get out of them if you need to. sometimes people want to see failure, if they dont wanna join the party, you and AJ party by your dam self moms included, she cant protect you all your life and who says its gonna be bad .It is gonna be exactly what you and him say it is, just be smart dont mix love with money.Every relationship is a buisness
Kandi ... I know what it means to be in love by any means necessary but all of the signs are there and you are doing like most of us women do, walk around in the fog. Your mother is right and she is only seeing what you can't see right now. As soon as you marry this man all 4 of those babymoma's are going to come straight for all of your hard earned money. Make sure you get a prenup. I'm an average women here in Atlanta and I had my doubts about my man so I made sure i had a prenup and i'm good and if this marriage doesn't work i have no regrets because when he leaves he won't have taken anything that I've worked hard.
HI KANDI I THINK THAT YOU ARE A VERY NICE AN EASY GOING PERSON.AND YOU SEEM TO HAVE YOUR HEAD ON STRIGHT.I AM SO SORRY THAT YOUR MOM WILL NOT GIVE YOU HER BLESSING ON THE MARRIAGE THING.BUT THINK ABOUT IT .DID SHE APROVE ON THE MUSIC THING WHEN YOU STARTED DOING THAT SO YOUNG? I'M SURE SHE DIDEN'T, SO DO YOUR THING..BECAUSE YOU ARE A OVER GROWN WOMAN AND WE ALL MAKE MISTAKES IN THIS LIFE. AND IT MAKES US STRONG,IT DEFINES WHO WE ARE. SO I WISH YOU ALL THE BEST, TAKE CARE SWEEETIE....
DARCELLE FROM NC
Hi Kandi! I have to admit I was skeptical about you joining the group but when I watched you in action and then heard you sing, I was BLOWN AWAY! You have such an amazing voice and soul - get your music out there for us to buy!!! You are not at all trashy like the rest of the women on that show. Thanks for standing apart; you rock!!
First of all it is no one's business what you do or who you marry even if you are on national TV. I will suggest that you be conciensious about your decision and your financial situation. Ask the questions, will the mother's of AJ's children ask for more financial support because his finances increase when you all get married? Seek legal advice concerning this. All in all congrats on your engagement God Bless!
Hey Kandi, Don't sweatthe blogs. It's only other peoples opinions and impressions, not what is really happening in your life. We all know this is a reality show NOT TO BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY AT ALL.... You know in your heart what is real .
Stay strong, I wish you and your fiance' well. It is hard for mothers to sit back and watch a situation that they totally disapprove of when it comes to their flock. I know I am a mom.
Four babies mama's hmmmm, wow. I can understand mom's concern, your mom seem to be more concerned about the mother's of the children than the children or AJ. My mother would have concerned herself with me taking care of someone else's children and is the father hands on with his children or does he want to drop his children off to you so he can run the street.
Kandi, you can hold your own when it comes to other women, fo, sho, as far as the children I think you will be an excellent addition to their life. AJ, time to grow up. Four babies mamas, you are cathing up with Flav fla, slow your role brother.