Where do I start? The FRIENDSHIP CONTRACT. Here we go. At this point on the show, we are all in a bad place, all three of us. Peter with UPTOWN, NeNe with Gregg, and me with the wedding and Peter's Uptown situation. Everybody is stressed out, and my friendship with NeNe is definitely on the rocks. I have a great sense of humor, so I decided that the next time I ran into NeNe, AS A JOKE, I would give her a FRIENDSHIP CONTRACT. AS A JOKE! As you guys know, the word friend does not carry a lot of weight with this group, so I thought the idea of giving NeNe a contract was hilarious! I imagined that we would read it, laugh hysterically, grab a glass of wine (as usual), give each other a big hug, and call it a day. NeNe is one of the craziest friends I have, and one of the reasons we talk so much on the phone is because we are both very silly. NeNe has been good for a laugh or two when I really needed one, and I just wanted to return the favor. My FRIENDSHIP CONTRACT was for NeNe's eyes only, and I never thought for a second anyone else would see it. It was supposed to just be a funny joke between friends, and that would be the end of it. Clearly, it didn't work out that way. You guys saw the turn of events after we left Kim’s kitchen, and at that point it just got too ridiculous for me to even go there. The only thing that I wanted to make clear (as if it wasn't obvious in the first place), is that the FRIENDSHIP CONTRACT was a joke, that's it. That's all it was ever meant to be. It was supposed to be funny, and I actually thought it was. I really cracked myself up about the whole thing. Well, excuse me for having a sense of humor.
Anyway, for anyone who may be interested in getting a copy of my FRIENDSHIP CONTRACT for any of your friends, just let me know. The cost is $19.99 per contract which includes shipping and handling. If you act now, I'll even throw in an autographed picture of myself for FREE. Like in my case, even if your FRIENDSHIP CONTRACT blows up in your face, and your friends start calling you a stalker and a lesbian, at least you will still have the autographed picture of me. FRIENDSHIP CONTRACT t-shirts and hats will also be available upon request. Only one per customer, as quantities are limited.