Back to the brunch. Things that made me giggle, cringe, or just left me confused:
1. The brunch turning into a cross between an episode of "Girls Gone Wild," "The Food Network," and "Sex and the City."
2. Being very pregnant, and not having any idea when your due date is. Not a clue. Is that show "Unsolved Mysteries" still on?
3. The thought of any of our mothers (or any of us for that matter) getting our dildo on.
4. Putting food products inside my "private area." We are in a recession, and groceries cost too much money to keep my "private area" stocked in addition to my refrigerator.
5. Having your unborn baby super early because it is sitting on your bladder. Well, where else is it supposed to sit? Noelle was born almost 9 pounds, and I think it's safe to say she sat on my bladder and anywhere else she could find to sit on. When did this become an option?
6. Peter announcing that Mr. Clean had arrived bearing Mother's Day gifts. Oops, I mean gift. Have to agree with Sheree on this one. What rhymes with "wacky?"
7. NeNe almost barfing at the thought of chowing down on powdered sugar mixed with a little va-jay-jay juice. Did I hear someone say "delicious?" I think I just threw up in my mouth.
8. Is it just me, or would Dr. Muhammad look a lot better if he just shaved his head? Even if he was a billionaire, the hair still needs to go.
9. Peter being a jerk for upsetting NeNe by being insensitive. Thanks Peter, that's exactly what my relationship with NeNe needed. TENSION. Good looking out, babe.
10. Never did figure out what "completing the full act" means. Sounds scary and very painful, maybe even illegal.
11. Great baby advice to any new mom: Leave your child inside of you until he is ready to come out or at least until his due date. How brilliant is that? Thanks NeNe.
12. I still don't believe that I am a D bra size, even though the bras did fit.
13. Kim was missed at the dinner table. Her input would have been welcomed, and no doubt hilarious.
14. For the record. I do live in a re-gentrified neighborhood. I grew up in the hood or the ghetto (whatever you want to call it), and I love and respect all my fellow neighbors. People are people, no matter where they live, or how much money they make. Besides I love my house, and I could care less what kind of neighborhood it is in. But thanks for pointing that out, because I keep forgetting. Excuse me for not living next door from Usher and across the street from Luda.
15. Question: Is it right to hate on people, and then get all self- righteous when that same hate is returned? Hmmmm. Something to ponder.